[Applause]
it is
4 56 a.m
i'm in burbank airport and i'm here
because tom cruise
has asked me to meet him here at 5 am
when tom cruise calls
you sort of have to say yes so
james tom what are we doing here huh
what are we doing we're gonna have a day
really yeah we're gonna have a day it's
surprised i feel like i'm being
kidnapped
what is happening
all right look at this so where are we
what's going on what are we doing
last time we jumped out of an
airplane did never forget it today we're
gonna go flying
well we just went flying that's what we
literally just did but we're gonna fly
back
we're gonna have a top gun deck hang on
so when you say we're going to be flying
in that who's going to be flying i'll
fly you in there but you're not a pilot
you're an actor i fly your apartment
right with all due respect you played a
lawyer and a few good men i wouldn't
want you to represent me in court okay
i'm going to go up in a 75 year old
plane with someone who isn't a pilot
okay yeah that sounds like a good idea
cool yeah i look forward to wait
okay james where are you going
we're in the desert
i'm very excited that uh james is doing
this was he the first late-night show
that i asked hell no he was just the
first one
and the only one who said yes
now what keep going what do you mean up
onto the yes oh my god even this is
terrifying
ah
so this is your seat belt okay you've
got your parachute underneath
it's not gonna happen
but if it does happen if we lose an
engine and it catches on fire
and we decide we're going to jump out of
the airplane
i'll get rid of canopy i'm going to
pitch the nose up 45 degrees
and then i'm going to go inverted and
i'm going to dump you out of the
airplane
[Applause]
now when you dump out of the airplane
here's your ring are you joking nice
actually dumped me out of the airplane
this is not gonna happen
the plane is on fire but we lose an
engine how many engines are on the plane
one so when you say lose an engine you
mean lose the engine the engineer i'm
just gonna turn over and i'm gonna plop
you out so you're gonna you're gonna
plop me out i'm just gonna turn over i'm
gonna plop you out
you're gonna pop me out of the play just
plop your head
i don't want to be popped out
all right you ready
no not really no
yet
[Music]
oh my god
[Applause]
oh my god
[Applause]
[Music]
what do i do if i need the toilet
you're gonna have to hold it on this
flight
don't worry about it
oh my god
oh
[Music]
[Applause]
did great
[Applause]
[Music]
you did
good i mean the fact that this is your
idea of a fun day out
just tells me how different we are as a
human being it'll get better
the next plane has air conditioning
i mean i couldn't run away if i wanted
to now
okay this morning that was fun
that was easy
1944 airplane
now we're getting into the serious
top gun stuff
you and i
are going up in that
today is all about training
to prepare you to fly in that tomorrow
morning okay i'm gonna
you go do this i don't want to do it but
i don't but listen honestly i don't want
to do it i have no interest i have no
interest in my goose when you say i'm
your goose it makes me feel excited and
then i realize that goose dies at the
end of the film so you're the first half
of the film
you can do this
feel that yes yep
okay okay now
if i'm pulling straight up mm-hmm you're
gonna feel that yep okay
now if we're pulling back you're gonna
feel that
okay
negative g that's negative g negative g
and then we're not gonna
it's gonna be like that negative mm-hmm
positively does that hurt at all or is
that okay i mean it hurts my pride a
little bit but it doesn't really hurt me
physically we're going to get in the
same position that we are in the
aircraft okay i'm in front you're behind
okay put your hands on my waist okay
that's a higher pitched sound okay
stay with me
striking left
breaking right right
this cannot be the training this is
reinforcing my belief that you don't
have a clue what you're doing this is
this is a conga we're doing the conga
why can't we just spend a nice day we've
already gone in one flight i didn't
particularly enjoy it
baby baby baby i need your love need
your love i need your love neon earth
okay
right if we can't fly that until 6am
tomorrow what do we do between now and
then
[Applause]
[Music]
yeah that's it i can't fly tomorrow hey
i won't be able to fly with that now
yeah no you don't want to look at it
it's too bad ah
that's probably a break it's a clue but
it's a clean break i'll just hold it
okay jackie chan
cherokee chan vibes that's a shame i was
looking forward to going up there well
that's right we'll see how you feel in
the morning
[Music]
yeah so i looked around i saw
everyone's drinking cocktails or making
cocktails so
i said let's let's call the movie
cocktail
it's ironic it's in the movie mission
impossible
the mission turned out to be possible
because i did it right and the same is
it's true for all the sequels
[Music]
suddenly worried that we'll attract some
kind of wolf
this is just tomorrow eject a jack james
take your speed
check ah
[Music]
you go out
yeah that's let's see that isn't a funny
joke we were having a great time then
and you've ruined it
tom yes james
if you kill me tomorrow
i'll haunt you for the rest of your life
james
yep
if i kill you tomorrow i'll be dead too
that's a good point and thought though
i love you tom
thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
look at that yeah nice it's got my name
on it tom oh cheers hang on wait i got
it i got to adjust my
goose and mavericks
right yeah because that's my best look
you look like a fighter pilot i look
like a hamster
i'm not going to touch the throttle
here's the flaps i don't need to know
about your flaps
it's a fun day isn't it
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
all right here we
[Applause]
oh go tom this is a different level to
that last plane
i could take an in-flight meal in this
plane
today's music game got the same
talk to me goose
did you see these trees here right yeah
i see the trees tom i'm not blind i can
see the trees i feel like i could touch
the trees look at that i mean look he
says this is absolutely ludicrous this
is the crazy down there this is the
stupidest thing i've ever done
let's see how close the wing is right
there
i don't want to see oh tom tom come on
man
we're like feet away from the edge of a
cliff
don't be stupid tom tom tom
tom oh my god
this is crazy that's just too much fun
is it is that what you call it it's all
about too much fun
okay james i'm just gonna try something
here okay just just hang on i just got
sick
oh my god what are you doing oh
i'm just gonna check i just wanna i
thought i saw something down here in the
terrain yeah it feels i was just gonna
[Music]
oh my god oh my gosh hang on oh my god
shut up
shut
up
oh god
[Music]
you absolute
bastard
tom i've got an idea why don't we just
fly straight for a bit just
maybe head back probably head back
imagine yeah we'll just we'll just fly
straight just relax and just take it
easy just for a little bit
[Music]
oh my god tom
[Music]
yeah we just got to check the airplane
this isn't why then when i set a
straight line tom
what do you think
oh my god
[Music]
someone might be done in a minute okay
we're done
well done well done oh my god
[Music]
oh thank god for that
thank you god thank you jesus thank you
goose
[Music]
oh my god
i mean i love you and i hate you at the
same time that was that was absolutely
outrageous it's incredible you could be
my wingman anytime i could be your
wingman at any time you know what i
think i'm good
[Applause]
you