good evening I'm Tom Tucker our top
story today the Quahog River was dyed
red in honor of Valentine's Day so if
you're looking to do a river murder this
could be your window
stupid Hallmark holiday anyway hey Bry
how's your night going
I hope Rupert and I haven't been too
loud up there oh yeah we're gonna go all
night Peter come on time to get dressed
for our Valentine's Day dinner we don't
want to be late for our reservation
reservation yeah I decided we're going
someplace nice this time not like last
year when we went to the Outback
Steakhouse but it's out as in the gay
way we'll get to the specials but first
I need to tell you I'm gay the hell you
are no way you're a mine is gonna be gay
Peter please
he's our waiter he's the only way that
we have Lois our waiter is dead to us we
have to focus all our attention on our
hostess now he just needs a little time
Scott I'm finally ready to hear the
specials well happy Valentine's Day Lois
let's have a dying marriage sideface
kiss what hey what's the matter Brian
have you fallen and can't get up
turns out still using that joke as a
felony guess I better not drop the soap
that one's the death penalty I told
anyone this but I killed a jaywalker in
2002 she looked too old but she was only
51 and back then that was old to me it's
why I always talk and ask questions so
much when there's any moment of quiet I
think about that's why all mothers do
that every mother has killed someone now
drink it in jail hey hey hey it's Arthur
Valentine here to accelerate awkwardly
into abortion
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Valentine you're okay but I saw him die
I can only mean one thing he must be a
zombie
I've seen The Walking Dead I have to
destroy your brain and then talk about
it for the next hour dad wait
I know how do I'm not Arthur Valentine
son we're so sorry Chris
now do you understand there is no Arthur
Valentine we never meant to hurt you
buddy
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