[Music]
hi guys welcome to episode 295 of the
official podcast it's been a big week
here we've been uh
we've been
made aware that someone has found us
kaya who's who's been made aware of us
um well last week as you guys know we
talked about ethan oliver ralph
and i don't know which one of you asked
this but one of you asked if
i think he's gonna find out we talk
about him or talked about him
and got me thinking because actually i
realized only later on that he must have
he must have known about me already
because i've talked to so many people
that this guy has even met in real life
i've been on
carl's show from who are these podcasts
to dunk on ralph
carl has met ethan in real life they've
been uh
you know they've been on stage together
before actually
and i've actually heard that the moments
when ethan came on stage he got booed
um i've been on dick masterson's show in
the past a couple of years ago and those
two seem to be close and also one time i
streamed about ethan on twitch and
one of his old co-hosts flamenco was
listening and he joined in to give me
some background on the lore
so that was fun uh
and apparently he has found out somebody
has sent him the clip or something or he
just obsessively reads his own kiwi farm
section
so he tweeted no idea who this kaya
[ __ ] is
but he's desperately trying to get my
attention first the loser who runs who
are these pod
had him on to launch a hit on me without
any warning or options to respond even
though i met that snake in real life
they both suck hard from my small
sampling and then he says sorry i don't
watch bug man [ __ ] literally have no
idea who these people are
and only know the other idiot cause of
dick masterson so he's calling me a
[ __ ] from behind a block
[Laughter]
on twitter
you can't respond yeah i mean you kind
of look like a [ __ ] right now since you
didn't say anything
i know all right well
did respond
yeah i mean i just said unblock me you
doughy [ __ ] but the thing that gets me
is
i launched a hit on him
without any warning or options to
respond bro like if you want to respond
i'll have you on this show but what do
you mean any option to respond and why
the [ __ ] should i warn you like hey man
i'm gonna make fun of you today i hope
that's okay is that what you want you
have to give two weeks notice yeah you
have to have your attorney reach out to
his attorney make sure the guidelines
are planning on insulting you on the
week of the 24th so if you could just
clear your schedule to make sure you're
there for it
[Laughter]
anyway yeah so he's done that and i just
all i want ever since he tweeted that
and i realized that he's aware of my
existence i just want to youtuber fight
him
oh my god so good he's so good
i want i want ralph at the next creator
clash i want it i have i want to see it
i i am a very simple man no not like i
have no demands i have only one
stipulation because of ethan's history
of flaking on fights because he's a
[ __ ]
i will not go out of pocket i will not
bite plane tickets and hire a venue just
so this [ __ ] can flake on me but if
someone else wants to burn their money i
am so down to clown well why can't we
just make it you don't even need money
just make it like a street fight he's
really well versed in those
yeah he's pretty good at street fighting
but just
just go to whatever bar he's at so he
can scream at you arrest him arrest him
arrest him over and over again
you guys are missing the point here this
has to be a very official match with
like an official referee and by the
books by the rules and here's why this
guy
he's like cartman i don't know if he's
ever won a fight but he has excuses
every single time when he gets his ass
kicked off camera he just makes up a lie
about how he was four against one and i
almost beat them and they ran away from
me and then when he gets his airspeed on
camera he just says oh it was a cheap
shot they sucker punched me blah blah it
was two against one again they pushed me
i wasn't looking now i want something
where it is televised
there's like a doctor on standby
referee
boxing gloves everything by the book so
he cannot make [ __ ] excuses again
i want perfect conditions
a chapter to read your last rights stuff
like that make sure they're televised on
abc news so everyone's a witness yeah
the president's on standby to alert the
nation of the results
he's in the oval office
i just want to do matt like i'm not a
i'm not a [ __ ] fighter this isn't me
trying to be a badass i'm sure like most
people kick my ass and i have been
punched in the mouth before it's not fun
it's not something i'd ever do for
fun or to brag about getting punched in
the mouth for some reason but
it's wrong i was gonna ask that you know
like how much how much how much fighting
experience do you have like i think
you'd
i got in scuffles in [ __ ] high school
and [ __ ] but that's it like as an adult
i've narrowly fought or had a reason to
like would you so would you do anyone
would you do some training before this
event were to take place oh yes i would
lean so hard into it for no [ __ ]
reason to i turn it i become a real life
rocky montage
against [ __ ] ethan ralph a man who
gets like his ass kicked by again four
feet uh four foot tall pedophiles in
their pjs
it would be like taking a
lollipop from a big fat toddler i just
it cannot be difficult i don't want to i
can't believe that it would be difficult
to kick ethan's ass
i don't know what it gets like superhero
training and then he actually beats you
how bad that feels i actually don't
think there's a single universe where
ethan ralph beats kaya like when during
the last episode i looked at like all of
his television well televised his
recorded fights he could narrowly manage
to extend his elbow for a punch like i
just don't see it happening he is so
helpless like go on i don't even know if
it's on youtube but like punching the
portugal fight [ __ ] where those two
british guys beat him up and it's like
it wasn't even the two against one fight
by the way one of them was just holding
the camera while the other one was
pushing him around and pushing him
around it's like he couldn't even get up
like look at that gift in the chat right
now so to describe it
imagine again a big fat baby in his
diapers on the ground who has like a big
man purse and he's getting punched in
the [ __ ] head
and he can't even like correct his
posture and lean up
he can't even find his bearings he is so
helpless he is so defenseless
that's like peak uh american trailer
trash right there goes to a different
country immediately laying the street
with their big [ __ ] belly hanging out
getting knocked in their head
they deserved it because they're not
america
it's just the american way to go
somewhere else and do that
do you see what i mean though this guy
thinks like he's a badass he talks [ __ ]
so much on the internet he constantly
challenges people to fight him he
constantly goes after people like
families [ __ ] talking and doxing their
wives and [ __ ] it's it's talking about
dropping
i mean yeah all right the smallest dog
is always a lot
of die sorry
[Laughter]
small dog syndrome like where the
smallest dog always has like the loudest
bark or you know constantly barks
because they've got no other thing to do
but yeah so that's the update uh he's
aware of us now much to my uh you know
it was pretty funny when people started
immediately i was in like four different
servers everybody started pinging me
god i hope we can make that happen
somehow
my that's my open invitation to ralph um
you can come on this show
you can
fight me
but first you have to unblock me you big
[ __ ] [ __ ]
wait so so that's that's the next step
uh is for him to unblock you so we can
set up this fight
yeah i mean anything you get
he's cancelled on he's cancelled other
fights though he's not gonna do it
i know he's a [ __ ] that's why i'm
saying i'm not gonna waste any of my own
money for this [ __ ] [ __ ] but i'm sure
someone i mean we could crowdfund this
you know but i will not
spend a single cent on like a [ __ ]
plane ticket just so this guy at the
last second can say oh but they didn't
want me to yell the n-word in the camera
so
he'll probably get his ass beat on the
way to the fight if it actually does get
like set up
[ __ ] fight with the uber driver on
the way over yeah
already
he could be sitting behind the uber
driver while he's driving and start the
fight and the uber driver will still win
from just reaching back and slapping him
i'm excited i think i think he'll do it
i don't know there's something inside me
that says he might just take this one
for
the
popularity like the attention no i just
feel like maybe at this point he might
feel like he has something to prove i
don't know
i just feel like there's somewhat of a
chance
what are the stakes
[Music]
oh man self-imposed exile off the
internet you have to quit if you lose
yeah well i mean if kyle loses this
fight i think he will willingly leave
the internet that'd be so embarrassing i
will go to the nearest german train
station and jump
that would be so [ __ ] humiliating
that would suck
but no i think i mean
it would be like fair we're
we're like roughly the same age i think
he's 33 or something i don't let his
like 50 year old it's not fair that's
just the [ __ ] kills
at like five foot one it just age is
like the least uh relevant fact here
okay i'm trying to goad him into this
all right can you not oh i mean it's
pretty fair
guys the kai is small too and pretty fat
[Laughter]
it'll even out
i have a limp uh i have a bump shoulder
yeah you can beat me
what if what if you do commit to making
it fair for him uh so that he does
uh confirm the fight what if you like
promised to gain like 40 pounds before
the fight that just make kaya more
fearsome like that make the fight more
lopsided in his
i start popping pills and just eating
mcdonald's all day
going to portugal you can't really do
anything about the height because you're
like you're like five eleven what's this
i'm six foot yeah don't undersell me
there's women listening how tall is
ralph
five eleven five one oh is he five
eleven i thought he was five i looked it
up because i was curious he's five
eleven this this could be a pretty even
fight yeah izzy i thought he was way
shorter than that he's listening he's
listed at 5 11.
i swear i feel like i feel like if you
balance out his fat and your muscle
you're the same weight class too
oh yeah sure
that's very generous math there
yeah
i like to be nice i don't know
oh you grabbed this off starsgaam.com
[Laughter]
that can't be the most reputable source
surely where are my stars
the only place that says he's five one
is kiwi farms i mean i guess that could
be accurate i'm really not sure
okay so ralph stated that he's about
five foot nine apparently
no well he gets into fights over people
calling him 5-1 so there's issues there
no jesus christ jackson you got that off
eliteprospects.com which is for a
[ __ ] 18 year old high school student
exactly
it's creepy wait
this high school student is an elite
athlete and five foot one five nine you
got the five nine from elite prospects i
just saw this
date of birth 2004.
[Laughter]
wait i saw it said ethan ralph yeah the
kid's name is ethan ralph jackson
he's a [ __ ] high school sports player
and he's listed on here as a prospect
all right anyway
we need to make this happen what is this
retards twitter handle uh
i'm gonna mobilize our fan base here all
right ralph bros
at the ralph retort tell him to unblock
me
this big baby what i don't even know why
he has me blocked sometimes i'm just
befuddled i i don't understand why i'm
on so many block lists
apparently
all i do is like cat photos
why does someone like him block anyway
what's the point
he's a [ __ ]
and it's such a bizarre behavior too
because he does the same thing that
boogie does where he obsessively reads
people hating on him on the internet
so if you're gonna do that anyway then
what's with the charade of even blocking
people yeah
yeah i don't know anyway this is
exciting it's exciting that we've uh
we've finally got some official beef to
go after we finally made it the show
finally taking off yes
finally some drama i know uh
[Laughter]
i mean it's not like
you know a tier one celebrity here it's
a [ __ ] white nationalist a racist
piece of [ __ ]
is he is he actually a white nationalist
from everything i've seen yeah
yeah he's kind of sort of the lazy kind
like i said last week you would think
that these people would look up to or at
least watch for entertainment people
like
you know those like chiseled chin hitler
youth types that you would see on old's
nazi promotion like propaganda posters
but no it's ethan
yeah it's always these people that think
they're like the the cream of the crop
they think they're the chosen race
or the chosen people or whatever and
they're always this type i can't believe
he's 36 he looks so [ __ ] rough for
36. it's unreal
oh yeah that's what happens when you
[ __ ] pop pills 24 7.
all right
all right nice update there thank you
now
what else we got
they announced 27 million new marvel
movies do you guys
thank [ __ ] god now i have movies to
watch thank god i was actually thinking
on the weekend there's a serious lack of
marvel movies and properties at the
moment yeah i don't know i don't know
what to choose i thought i could maybe
come out
i thought i could maybe fill like my
life with hobbies or
other interests but marvel thankfully
was still there to
keep me roped in
it definitely feels like it's on the
decline
though
in terms of uh like
what people are willing to accept after
what was the infinity war right and the
last one and game and game yeah yeah i
think
it just seems like it's all messy and
they don't know what they're really
doing
it's because the big overarching stakes
are done like the the whole point of the
character movies were to be like oh
ant-man will fight thanos and here's his
backstory and then this happened in
between this moment and it's like it was
all building to something it was all
building to end game but now that
there's nothing to build to
it's like oh but thor continued to have
adventures after thanos died and it's
like okay i don't care as much that's
fine
the thor movie was really bad too the
most recent one yeah it wasn't very good
looking at the oh thor thor the new thor
love love and thunder yeah was bad
um the only thing that i'm interest even
remotely interested in in
what they're calling phase five is blade
everything else
yeah they're gonna butcher these
they're gonna boost yeah butcher blade
yeah
uh yeah like the first two blade movies
the ones that already exist are pretty
damn good they still hold up as like
really corny popcorn theater [ __ ] that
you can just put on and watch wesley
snipes be cool for two hours
but yeah i also think they're gonna [ __ ]
it up somehow plus
i want if if it's gonna be a like i
don't want marvel to be involved in this
because i i know this means i'm gonna
have to watch like 17 other movies to
get it you know there's going to be a
boom
the biggest downside is it's going to be
quippy
yeah like they're going to take blade
which was always about being like cool
and kind of dumb cool and cheesy cool
and edgy cool and they're gonna make
blade the whole movie be all like oh
this really sucks when he like looks at
a vampire sucking blood or something
or
you know what i'm going to call this now
i'm going to call this now there's going
to be a scene where they're going to
keep a little bit of the edginess and
blade is going to kill a room of
vampires and he'll be covered in blood
and his sidekick will look at him and
say you've got something on you some a
little something on your face there
like you gotta never mind never mind
you'll get it later and that'll be the
joke yeah that'll be the humor
oh i really hope not i don't know
just
keep everyone that ever worked on
deadpool away from this [ __ ] movie i
hate that character so much man like i
get the movies are fun but his entire
character is i curse
[ __ ] [ __ ] constical
that's that's like the writing oh was it
ryan reynolds
all that and the girl that's lucky
domino i think they're pretty
interesting
domino is awesome okay yeah i like that
character too
i think that i think uh
they're fun
movies i liked both of them a lot yeah
by the way no i like them too i just i
don't like the [ __ ] humor in them
very much i like the action and [ __ ]
um anyway they also in the process of
promoting the new black panther movie
decided to sock puppeteer chadwick
boseman's twitter account to promote it
that's so weird you're really saying so
remember it's not the first time
marvel's marvel has done this they they
commandeered stan lee's account
hey that was that was not marvel that
was his family or
someone close to conjunction with one
had to like those thanos penis pictures
okay
what do you mean it wasn't it wasn't
marvel
marvel offered them enough money for
them to do it no what the [ __ ] are you
talking about are you talking about the
nfts
oh no i'm not talking about
the account still promotes stuff right
i thought you were talking about the
nfts i didn't even know i remember what
this is talking about
they it's [ __ ] weird man like even on
death there was no rest from [ __ ]
disney
yeah like look at look at these look at
stan lee's twitter account official
twitter of stanley independently powered
by power entertainment so there's some
[ __ ] ad agency
currently
currently running his twitter account
pretending to be
the corpse of
someone that's dead oh my god honoring
steve's legacy and doing that by
promoting marvel
the literal line after honoring stan's
legacy is shop the new excelsior by stan
collection
oh
see great holy [ __ ]
yeah you're maybe you're right jackson i
i
i thought you were just talking about
the nft thing
i mean if they're willing to do nfts
they're definitely willing to hock other
stuff so
i think we're both right
uh aren't they also still like deep
faking him into the movies for the sake
of the cameos
nah he hasn't had a cameo in like the
last five
oh
maybe i'm thinking of scenes they just
released posthumously
i don't know anyway just it's such
[ __ ] slop it gets like look at these
[ __ ] what is quantum mania
the marvels
that's so that's like
that's like their big
overarching plot now like the multiverse
the quantum realm and all of that but it
still doesn't it just doesn't seem like
it's gonna work together very well plus
they release so many [ __ ] disney
shows for marvel that are all so boring
uh it's just i can't really get excited
for [ __ ]
that's that's my issue it doesn't feel
like there's a cohesive vision anymore
and
even if there is it's coming across in
disney plus tv shows which i have no
interest in watching so well i assumed
sorry go ahead
no i was just gonna say if i've got no
interest in watching it i'm not gonna
get the cohesive vision that they may
have anyway
yeah and i don't think they coordinate
properly either because a lot of people
that i saw online talking about that
multiverse of madness or whatever that
piece of [ __ ] was called it's like oh
this invalidates everything in
scarlet witcher whatever the hell her
show is called it's like yeah these
people probably don't even
yeah i want a vision uh these people
probably barely even talk to each other
anymore man they have like 60 [ __ ] of
these projects going on at the same time
it's like yeah they're gonna contradict
each other and invalidate each other
how many is that one two three four five
six 12 in the span of what two years
jesus christ
that's less than i like
i really i love the stanley twitter
account now because i'm scrolling
through and i'm trying to find they they
basically are just posting photos and
memories of things he did like attending
giant cons and taking photo ops and this
but one of their favorite memories is
did you know in 2013 stan partnered with
doritos on their crash the super bowl
contest and clearly had a terrific time
it's just a photo of stan
that's honoring his legacy for sure
that's kind of epic yeah
i always remember in all the new marvel
movies all the characters eat doritos
and they look at the camera and say i
love these doritos
i'm thor and i need doritos
maybe it's what he wanted who knows we
don't know stanley maybe he wanted to be
used permanently
until the end of time it was his final
wish to sign off on any and all
sponsorships at least i would understand
like
like a memorial type thing where because
i'm on chat with bozeman's right now and
it's
just [ __ ] like oh you're such a good
person we miss some dearly yada yada
that's like so much better than nft [ __ ]
people need to
like at least have a sub-clause in your
contract that's once this soulless mega
corporation
commandeers your accounts they cannot
use it for promotional purposes
yeah who's eating this [ __ ] up who is it
for who
who's sitting around waiting for the
next stan lee tweet the club there
dude i don't know but the wakanda
forever tweet from chadwick has 700 000
likes
so even with like
that's uh so many [ __ ] people
yeah it is
who's even gonna be the new black
panther
they're not gonna replace here they're
not gonna have two jobs
as as i recall they're not like
replacing chadwick as black panther i
don't exactly know how they're doing it
but they're not like replacing him
i'd be willing to bet a significant
portion of those likes don't even know
chadwick died and they're just like oh
black panther tweet cool
maybe that's the trick yeah
you know what you might actually be
right
yeah you might be
man to be fair he died up and like just
suddenly you know and it was actually i
respected suddenly for the audience
well suddenly that's what it means it
wasn't
he had cancer and he was like fighting
cancer as he was doing all this [ __ ] all
the movies and like publicity and
whatnot and he just did it in private
you know
just without telling anyone and it's
that was pretty impressive like this guy
used to go to [ __ ]
i think children's hospitals and
do you know nice gigs for kids with
cancer and stuff and meanwhile he was
suffering cancer himself maybe he was
stealing their treatment
that's why he was doing all that
well it wasn't enough
yeah don't don't be smacky's name andrew
hey
if the man can post on twitter from the
dead he's capable of things
i heard chadwick loved the official
podcast yeah
don't sue me disney that's a joke
yeah you're going after the one company
that loves suing more than their own
entertainment properties enjoy that
are there any other fun disney news
lately any other adventures that have
been failing and their
fun parks star wars hotels
yeah star wars talked about that i meant
after that
no just a star wars hotel
bummer
i do
i do have something to toss to you
jackson because i haven't looked it up
and i figured you'd be knowledgeable
uh bungie's new lawsuit what's that all
about uh the one that happened after the
guy that was like copyright striking all
of the music youtubers there's one this
week
yeah bungie's gone lawsuit crazy at the
moment they're loving it their lawyers
are working overtime so their current
lawsuit that i read about um was in
regards to a player that was
harassing developers and also i believe
he was like promoting
promoting sheets on his stream maybe i
think so so they're going after people
that are like tweeting death threats at
their employees now as well which is
fine i'm fine with that
i don't i don't care they should be is
this from that one troll who was
falsely flagging everyone or a different
person no different person
okay and what what a headline here i
looked it up bungie levels multi-million
dollar lawsuit against cheating pest who
threatened developers to keep your doors
locked
there was one tweet by the guy where i
was like yeah all right this guy's
pretty unhinged he's like i'm i've just
moved into the neighborhood of this
employee
i think he added them and said that they
better sleep with like one eye closed
open tonight or something like that
like he was he was pretty unhinged
like a lunatic yeah all right well [ __ ]
that guy then how much is he getting
sued for
a couple million
just a couple i'm sure he's got it yeah
i'm sure he's good for it
what happened in that situation if you
don't have the capital to pay for what
you're sued for you i think thank you
no i'm pretty sure that you go into debt
like forever like you have to gradually
pay it off on a schedule
uh so it's like a student loan yeah kind
of as far as i know i could be wrong
yeah well they've just permanently
[ __ ] this guy's life well they haven't
he did technically
his names were so stupid to his username
so apparently he would get banned and
then immediately make new accounts
faster than bungie could ban him which i
don't even like
trap star miffy
why giroga 2
bungie mad
wait one of his usernames was bungie mad
yeah
and when bungie mad got bans he replaced
it with hahaha lol xd
which was
well i can't imagine getting this mad at
[ __ ] video games that you send death
threats to the developers
like sure i don't agree with every
decision that bungie's made with destiny
but i don't care
nearly that much
i mean
he was pretty blatant about this stuff
though he would go on twitter and ask if
anyone was able to commit arson at a
specified location in the seattle area
yeah he uh
oh and then he put afterwards if it
happens to be bungie hq you get a
discount
oh man
so why does he hate bungie so much
well the same reason anyone hates uh
irrationally like it's just some
perceived
uh slide against him i assume
um yeah you get that in all video game
communities charlie you should know that
you've probably got your photoshop as
well but this is like a completely
different level of upset at a company
i want to see discuss photos you can
find a photo of this tubby
i was trying to find out
was it um
was it like a feedback loop where like
did he get banned and then do this [ __ ]
and it caused him to get banned again or
vice versa dude people get so damn mad
at getting banned from [ __ ] it's so
bizarre to me like even on something as
low level as a dink you guys would be so
discord server yeah baffled by how mad
some people get when they get banned
from my dinky dumbass server it's like
it's a [ __ ] chat who gives a [ __ ] why
why are you so obsessed with this stuff
reminds people on reddits or twitch chat
or video games it's like who gives a
[ __ ] just move on it's all just
entitlement people think that they're
entitled to be somewhere and they're
like oh i'm having a disagreement i
don't care it's my
[ __ ] space i'm allowed to be here i
can say what i want
they say it's not even that feels like
there's some
perceived injustice levied against them
like they don't deserve it
i guess yeah hey me being blocked by
ethan ralph is not the same at all chad
[ __ ] you
[Laughter]
justice i'm demanding they've got you
there
i should make another account called
ethan madd
follow him hello xd yeah
[Laughter]
yeah um
yeah wait so you can't find any photos
of him i can't find anything on him like
in general like not even a social media
presence which i'm assuming he had since
he streamed right yeah he can't find any
of it can you check out his loot in the
game and see if he had good stuff or
something
well that wouldn't matter cheating
doesn't give you like good loot you
still have to do all the grinding all i
would do is just like
help him in pvp and [ __ ] oh have you
checked any of the local saloons for any
wanted posters maybe maybe they've got
his face up there yeah maybe on the run
for bounty hunters like offering a
reward
yeah
yeah i don't know i
can't imagine being that mad
the pseudo-effect details of leon that's
the guy's name boasted about bungie not
being smart enough to stop him quote my
point is more bungie will never be able
to stop me if i persisted in my actions
why why sounds like this they don't say
this
why did why they
why are they all acting like there's
some like evil masters
i know
here quote seven bands in and still
going strong at bungie battle i is [ __ ]
took me 30 seconds to go to get around
your silly hardware band
why
i bet his solution was like buying a
whole new [ __ ] console
again why do you want to be places where
you're not welcome like i've been banned
from plenty of [ __ ] places on the
internet as you might imagine it's like
okay not my crowd i guess well the other
would i force myself on you the other
thing is why can't people just let [ __ ]
go like let's say he was banned and had
this issue why can't he just get a new
account and then keep quiet and be like
okay i can still play
because he's a [ __ ] loser really he's
a loser with like a spiteful superiority
complex he thinks he's a genius
oh my
god i mean
i don't know i was going to compare to
my situation because i got banned on
discord and i'm still here but it's like
i work on this [ __ ] app you know this
goddamn hell pull
it's it's a video game i get does does
destiny cost money did he actually
well yeah of course it costs money
i mean
it is free to play but like you have to
pay to do anything in the game basically
like you have to pay for
expansions and there's micro
transactions and stuff like that
so yeah i'm not really seriously did
this guy like lose a lot of loot or
something
well if he lost access then yeah he
would have lost anything that he paid
for
i wonder how much that's how it is with
any like live service game though
or any mmo for that matter
uh yeah
are there screenshots of [ __ ] he said
and threatened
i didn't see anything
i didn't see [ __ ]
yeah i only said to keep your doors
locked thing what a loser
yeah bungie's killing it with these
lawsuits like i am once again rooting
for bungie just [ __ ] this guy i guess
by the way shout out to pcgamer.com for
teaching their [ __ ] authors on their
website to actually use archive websites
instead of directly linking to tweets
that people delete thank you
um he says yeah your game is so [ __ ]
dark [ __ ] keep your doors locked bungie
but he's made like eight accounts
[Laughter]
it's almost like he's
it's absolutely what i don't understand
why do you play something that you hate
so much and i know the arguments were
made a few weeks ago about my assassin's
creed thing but i did enjoy i did enjoy
that process
i wasn't [ __ ] tweeting at them either
about how [ __ ] they gave me they should
sue you for unironically saying you
enjoyed assassin's creed it's a [ __ ]
like yeah lawsuit and a half
[Laughter]
it's not at all the same
the [ __ ]
oh sorry i'm trying to find this guy's
[ __ ] twitter profile oh it's at ink
cell but i think he changed it
or someone else took it maybe
i don't know
do you guys want to talk about elon musk
sure let's talk about the mayonnaise man
mayonnaise man
he looks like he's made a mayonnaise oh
right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah uh he he
tweeted the other day saying he hasn't
had sex in ages psy
someone
wait can i find that [ __ ] comment
have you guys seen that one guy in his
replies offering to blow him
like i know there were so many there
were so many
uh continue i'm just trying to dig it up
what happened to him he's he's he's gone
down the rabbit hole he can't get out
he's stuck down there
so he was talking about how he's just
been on holiday or whatever or no it was
about no no it was in reference to a
tweet saying that elon musk's allegedly
allegedly banged google co-founder
sergey brin's wife leading to the
couple's divorce filing the two are
apparently no longer friends and then
elon musk said uh replied saying haven't
even had sex in ages and then in
parentheses sigh
[Laughter]
someone's
ladies asking them not even on the
vacation like have you seen him without
his shirt on
lady how would he get laid
i mean he's a billionaire of course he
could get laid i i mean yeah he yes he
could just pay anyone but
as as made evident by the replies in the
twitter some guy offering to blow him a
whole bunch of other people saying oh if
you come to my city i'll [ __ ] you and
stuff like that
yeah
you need sex and should put sex on your
busy schedule it's an excellent form of
exercise and treats anxiety
put sex in this schedule some random
reply
yeah he's not having sex because he's
just too busy
he's got too much [ __ ] he's a super
follower but
does twitter have like embedded simping
now do people actually elon musk money
on twitter
wait does elon musk have super followers
i am looking at a superfluous thing as
he has over 100 million followers on
twitter i would not be surprised to be
dead
well no it's just something you turn on
you you can pay to be a super follower
of
an account
people really like they're saying that
option
maybe this process i'm not saying the
option on elon musk
yeah i'm just seeing like it on someone
else's name but they may be oh maybe
those are super followers of you kyah
maybe
i definitely don't have that [ __ ]
oh that'd be
so [ __ ] sad if people were paying the
billionaire just for his tweets oh my
god that would be so damn pathetic
so when you guys figured he's had sex
last was it with that
girl
most likely no um
nah i'm sure he's had sex since then
he's been hanging out with his mum a lot
right we believe that his family is a
family of incest
yeah that's true
yeah
yeah i could see that
i'm surprised he's not having sex much
though since he's uh
tweeting all the time about how he wants
more children and people need to start
having more children people oh my god as
many children as they can i know but
he's just pumped out so many goddamn
spurgs and i just
turns me into a feral [ __ ] raging
communist every time i see photos of
those pudgy [ __ ] kids
knowing that they were born into wealth
that like no one else on earth could
achieve in a
million lifetimes it annoys me
and he's also one of and like i said
last week that he's one of those [ __ ]
like ethan who just pump out kids and
that's it he scored that's all that
counts it doesn't matter if are actually
a good father to them and raise decent
human beings or anything
just [ __ ] pumps out kids and hands
them to his maids
well he will to be fair he did take his
kids to the [ __ ] pope did your dad do
that for yukai i know mine didn't
wait what
my dad didn't take me to the pope elon
musk took his kids to the pope
yeah i guess
to take awkward photos
actually i probably wouldn't let my kids
around the pope
that'd be like the last place you want
to take kids i would imagine
yeah
that'd be a bad idea
andrew what about you
you're gonna have kids are you gonna
take this
i don't know
offering when i check my to-do list i
didn't really put that that high up but
i could scooch it up there yeah
do you think you'll ever have kids
andrew
i i want to say no but realistically i
can't
say for certain you know because you
never know what'll change in the future
like
currently no but you never know if i hit
like 40 and i'll be like oh god oh god
my life is nothing i need children you
know what i mean i need a living servant
[Laughter]
i need someone to take care of me i'm
getting old [ __ ]
i don't know what's what's holding you
back
what
wait you mean now
yeah
i don't know i have a cool fulfilling
life
i don't feel like i need children right
now
then you can share it with a kid [ __ ]
you're right all right let me go philly
back
thanks let me know how it goes i want to
know i'll send your video evidence
[Laughter]
from a social experiment what about you
jackson mr jackson's absolutely the kind
of guy to want kids like in ten years
i'd say show them assassin's creed and
be like this is what i spent my whole
summer on look at it why do you what why
do you say that i'm i'm like
not the type of person that would want
kids
i just really feel like you would have
like a traditional value when it comes
to like reproduction i don't know maybe
i'm wrong no it would be it would be out
of any of us it would definitely be kyle
100
i think it's mentioned wanting kids
yeah openly i never denied this i like i
used to be i also used to be of course
when you're like young and you're 19
you're like ill yucky children but yeah
yeah as you grow older and i've talked
about this before on the show even i had
that one epiphanous moments with
where i was visiting my cousin and his
wife actually and their daughter and she
was like two or something that was the
most adorable [ __ ] kid i have ever
met in my life that was so damn
cute i know but it's like
okay why is that not a valid reason for
me to like kids whereas it is a valid
reason to hate kids because you got
stuck with a dumb one on a plane right
and i genuinely just had the best
[ __ ] time man because i like juggled
balls for her and [ __ ] and then she
would grab me but she had tiny tiny
teeny tiniest hands and she would grab
me by one finger because again my hands
are bigger and she would drag me to her
toys to have me juggle different toys
and she would just make me juggle and
she would clap and laugh and she learned
my name it was adorable i loved it and i
i looked at it and i was like yeah okay
you know i wouldn't mind like
wiping this thing's nose and [ __ ]
taking care of it i guess when it's sick
and [ __ ] so it's probably worth it this
seems like a long story short kaya now
owns that child and the family is
worried sick
she's not allowed to go outside but
she's got plenty of toys
plenty of water in her dish for her
every night every night keep her
satisfied and entertained yeah
i don't know they're fun man kids are
fun it's really again i also have a
nephew who's a bit older than her
and it's
like seeing the emergence of
intelligence when you actually sit down
with a kid and like
play games with them and you realize
that
this thing it's developed like it's
getting smarter by the day you know it's
like a little machine
you sound like an authentic parent at
the pta meeting i like to see the
emergence of their intelligence
it is i mean sometimes you just have
those thoughts in your head like huh you
know i mean when you hang out with
[ __ ] adults you kind of take it for
granted and then you realize oh these
dummies have to learn how to tie their
shoes still
it's not something you're used to but
it's so you just like kids because you
like to feel smarter about yourself this
kid's so [ __ ] stupid he can't even
play games
look i may have gotten in on arguments
with them but to be fair i was right
about the lego configuration all right
i followed the instructions meanwhile
they're just putting pieces together
willy nilly you can't even read yet
that's [ __ ] idiots kids are so cringe
when you really think about it they
can't do anything how am i saying
i know we've brought this topic up 38
times on this show but i don't care kids
are [ __ ] stupid
so
adorably stupid sometimes if you're
under 18 and listening to this i want
you to know you're a [ __ ] [ __ ]
that's all there is to it
so you're still a [ __ ] even after you
turn 18. yeah if you're over 25 and
listening to this you're a [ __ ] idiot
actually you're probably probably more
of a [ __ ] after 18 because you don't
have the excuse of age anymore if you're
past 18 there's no excuse no jackson if
you ask a [ __ ] like five-year-old
where the sun what the sun is
boy will they tell you a million things
but
i don't know what the [ __ ] you could do
that right now on tick tock there's this
lady who's named like the truth or
something all of her tick tocks are
about how the moon is fake
but that's a minority of people
that's a very small minority of people
yeah but my point is it has nothing to
do with like age
at all yes it does nearly every
five-year-old is going to be like the
moon is a giant like
sun dragon or the moon is like an alien
like you know all it takes is for you to
tell her oh yeah far more children are
gonna say that the moon and the sun are
impossible things than [ __ ] like
random adults
it's much easier to convince the child
of the truth you can just tell the child
like no the moon is not a skydrive and
they'll just regurgitate their
information whereas trying to convince a
flat earther is impossible exactly but
the flat earthers make up like such an
insignificant portion of the greater
amount of people out there i guess the
point i'm making is like a child you
just hate idiots on tick tock and i do
too i agree yeah
i guess
i guess the argument really is just like
children are smarter than half these
[ __ ] idiots
you're like an embarrassment to society
a completely ignorant are you like
you're nothing good on tick-tock this is
something i already feel so damn bad for
like parents in this day and age who are
themselves not technologically literate
because you now have this entire attack
vector on your child that how do you
even defend against this [ __ ] like how
do you stop your kid from going on tick
tock short of
literally like i'm thinking when i have
a kid i'm just gonna give him one of
those old flip phones without internet
on it and if he needs to call me he can
call me but other than that
the [ __ ] [ __ ] that i sometimes see on
there
is demented that cannot be healthy for
children and it's not as we're seeing
from like all the increased uh mental
illness rates in the kids you can't
shelter him like that though kaya it's
going to be like those christian parents
that like forbid their kids from like
doing anything then they go buck wild
when they're free you still can't do
that you just need the money i know but
there has to be it has to be
there has to be a balance man it's not
sheltering my kid to not let him get
groomed on tick tock like that's not
happening this is this i'm not letting
him get on some [ __ ] chinese demonic
spyware app
to ruin himself
it's so creepy
yeah but i just really feel like when
you do something like that it harbors
resentment from them because all their
friends are going to be on tick-tock all
you need to do is just like be an active
parent like they can go on tick-tock but
you need to just supervise what they're
doing teach there yeah
from
[Laughter]
okay you guys are acting as if the two
are mutually exclusive yes show
compassion and love and raise them like
a good father or mother
but also to talk about that
of like chinese conspiracies and like
red tape and stuff
and and yeah all those conspiracies
imagine you imagine like with kaya's kid
he tells him all that and he goes to
school and he becomes like a [ __ ]
conspiracy theorist to his peers
i'm sorry i'm just to be fair it's not a
conspiracy that you know
yes it's not a conspiracy that app is
absolute it is a toilet and all the
other kids are doing it is not good
enough of an excuse i don't give a [ __ ]
if all the other kids do heroin
this is like
it's just not good idea to like you guys
said
unsupervised access i thankfully i like
to think that i'm kind of like internet
smart
so i'll have to be able you know to keep
up kinda sorta with whatever the [ __ ]
new apps they're gonna have
like 20 years from now but still
when
when is the line drawn like at what age
do you kind of back off and let the kids
or or your children i mean uh
you know
give them a little bit of freedom oh
that's gotta be i guess they have to
that's gonna have to earn it yeah
i would wager a lot younger because at a
certain age they're going to figure out
how to get around anything you do no
matter what
oh they put a [ __ ] app blocker that
blocks tick tock welp i figured out how
to uninstall it
because i was out of their friend's
house or something like that at a
certain very young age they're going to
figure out how to get around anything
you try to do unless you're actively
monitoring them
uh you have to teach them critical
thinking like it's not an age thing you
just have to teach them hey kiddo look
any man that you talk to online he
doesn't give a [ __ ] about you okay he's
trying to rape you like that's it if
you're on discord and there's a [ __ ]
40 year old that's a little much but
you see these [ __ ] these people on
tick tock there's guys going around like
hey kids if you're feeling like they
especially target [ __ ] lgbt youth
which are just
disgusting they go on there and they're
like if your parents don't support you
i'll be your new dad you can talk to me
come into my discord server kitten and
then before you know it this [ __ ] 15
year old is talking to a 40 year old man
about his [ __ ] sexual life and the
sexual problems
he's not wrong
i'm not saying the claim is wrong i just
think maybe your parenting style's a
little in your face where you just sit
them down and go he's going to rape you
again
get off tick-tock everyone's trying to
rape you okay
you guys need to remember i would not
talk to my children the way i talk to
you three okay
[ __ ]
[Music]
so kai is the kind of parent where like
he'll sit down with his daughter and be
like now you know not to talk to adults
on tick tock right that's not good and
then later that same night he comes to
us or she's going to get raped it's
going to happen
it's the end times
i tell kids this all the time like if
you're gay or whatever the [ __ ] and
you're kind of wondering or you're just
you're confused about your body and [ __ ]
just
and i know sometimes you're isolated and
maybe you live in a shitty place where
there isn't much support but stick to
people your own age
if you're a gay boy stick to like other
gay boys that are in your rough age
range someone who's 20 years older than
you has no good intentions no matter
what they say no matter the [ __ ]
inclusive
language or whatnot you should have a
friend group of people your own age and
gates keep it hard don't let adults in
i think a big rule of thumb is no adults
like no one that's like 18 plus should
ever be friends with someone that's like
is anything 16 and below under it no
circumstance
should there be any kind of like
friendship or relationship
like and you can adult in a kid it's
just you can expand that that's not all
right you can expand that as well to the
qualities of a healthy minded adult i
personally don't want to be friends with
children
there's nothing in my brain that goes
yeah i really want to get close to these
kids and hang out with them it's like no
i want to hang out with other adults
yeah i couldn't imagine being in a
conversation with anyone like well like
being interested in a conversation with
anyone under like 21 yeah at this point
you can just super children like if
they're like yo check out this new
cartoon because i'm five i'll be like
whoa cool cartoon ha ha
and like no adult should try to have an
actual friendship with a kid you know
yeah and just stick to your family i i
promise you even if you have problems
with your parents and even if you feel
like they're not supportive they still
love you a hell of a lot more than the
furry on discord
who's sending you cat boy callers in his
cat boy ranch discord
don't do it
or you could just get off social media
entirely and be so much happier and
healthier and literally improve your
life in every way i just don't think
kids can do that anymore like yeah
it's so ingrained in like society yeah i
don't think there's anything it is
unfortunately it is yeah man yeah and
and like pulling that away from them
it really is just going to cause them to
resent you and yeah more so like they're
going to they're going to want it more
as well then
it's like forbidden candy
i know it's a bitter fruit
man like we genuinely need internet
literacy classes in in school now
because the problem
used to be the problem would be boomers
right so you'd feel bad for your mom
because she can't even set up her own
email or whatever but now it's these
children are born into this culture now
where you can't even exist without a
google account you'd be surprised how
many people genuinely think they cannot
live without google products i think
kids are technical technologically
literate they're just not like
societally uh yeah they don't know
what it is this could be a [ __ ] this
could be a [ __ ] just perception of
things because there's so much social
media and all this [ __ ] everywhere but i
feel like people are more socially
awkward now than ever oh yeah
oh yeah
that's unfortunate
i mean they're technologically literate
but they're like privacy illiterates you
know they just don't know what's good
for them and they go well they're
sweating they're afraid of things kaya
that's the one that bothers me the most
they are afraid of certain things they
don't like like sex topics and swearing
and like all this really tame [ __ ]
they're just like ooh that makes me
uncomfortable i i don't get that
i don't get that anymore
ah they're just looking for a cause man
i think
yeah wait are you talking about
teenagers
yeah like it seems like if you look on
twitter and tick tock there's tons of
people who are like just completely
uncomfortable with the idea of like
swear words or talking about like dark
topics or sex or adult things and i
don't think they just want to rebel
against something and they just want to
feel like they're doing something like
some form of activism it's like the
people who get mad at me for saying the
word [ __ ] and they'll [ __ ]
type down in the comments like oh kyle's
saying the arsler i can't believe most
critical associates like bro i guarantee
you that not a single person with a
mental disability has been helped by
your comment right there okay do
something real for the world go
volunteer at a soup kitchen or something
actually help people instead of being a
little puritan karen in the comments
section like it's boring
and useless you're not helping
you're not better than anyone because
you left that comment
it's kind of fun to think that we are
the last generation to have a childhood
without modern internet
i know isn't that crazy it's weird
we had experiences growing up that kids
now or like even teenagers now will
never understand
i thought you guys were born after the
internet was nope it wasn't
actually it wasn't like a household
thing even when i was a kid andrew and
kai are like two years older than me but
even when i was a kid it wasn't like in
every household
especially the modern internet like yeah
the internet was around but it wasn't
nearly what it is now to any degree
it didn't really kick off
like 2010
modern internet is about 2007 which is
when the first iphone was introduced so
that's when like smartphones took over
and everything became geared less about
websites and more about apps
facebook was around 2000 it was 2007 as
well yeah
so i think twitter was 2007 as well too
no no no no no no twitter was not 2007.
it was definitely a little later i
actually remember when twitter was
launched i thought it was the stupidest
idea of all time twitter launched march
2007.
that blows my [ __ ] mind
facebook was 2004 apparently yeah
actually apparently it started in beta
in 2006 so it's even older holy [ __ ]
i remember like when twitter was first
catching on to some degree they were
talking about trying to sell it and no
one wanted it and which i guess is still
true today
and i still thought it was the stupidest
[ __ ] thing ever all of my friends
didn't like it nobody i knew used it no
one on xbox live that i knew used it i
thought for sure it was just the most
dead on arrival thing ever
now look at it i think it became what it
is now once they doubled the character
limit because it became less about like
you could formulate more when you had
that character limit up it went from
useless one string thoughts to actual
like hey i'm making a statement you know
what i mean it was i think it was
celebrities and stuff like that that
yeah
they just became a place to go if you
wanted to hear like celebrities talk i
guess what their opinions were like
sometimes i sense uh people should i see
on twitter that like
either i find funny or makes me angry
maybe sometimes and they every single
time it's like twitter is not a real
place like bro the [ __ ] president and
his entire cabinet and every athlete and
musician and scientist is on this
goddamn app like i don't know how long
that excuse is gonna work because you
sound like a [ __ ] boomer who still
thinks that the internet is not a real
place
like if someone in the real life makes a
statement on twitter it no longer exists
and magically is not real anymore
what do you mean
well like i said that excuse where i'll
send someone something and they go oh
just ignore it that's not real that's
not real news that's not nothing of
concern when i don't know like a large
company makes a shitty announcement
that sort of stuff yeah yeah
i'm just kind of sick of it all man i
really am
i have uh been like not going on twitter
or
any of that [ __ ] lately and i just feel
so much better i literally only log on
twitter now to just upload like links to
videos and then log out immediately
same that's not true i saw you i replied
to one of your tweets the other day it
was about uh nsync verse backstreet boys
that's for a video wink okay yeah
i'm thinking nine steps ahead jackson
he's also he's the mainframe yeah
got it all planned out of conversation
but now my main point on that is yeah i
post stuff every now and then but i
literally post and then like log off i
just don't browse it anymore yeah i
noticed that we didn't reply to me yeah
[ __ ] you jackson i'm busy
[Laughter]
oh yeah i mean it's gonna get worse
because no one gives a [ __ ] yeah it is
it really is
so which is why i don't want to have
just
it just feels like [ __ ] information
overload lately you know like i i see so
many people who have this routine where
it's like all right i'm gonna open
tick-tock and then okay i looked at
everything on there now i'm gonna open
twitter okay i looked at everything on
there let me check my subreddits okay i
did everything on there facebook uh you
know not not very active but let me
check on there oh let me let me go to
let me go to this [ __ ] thing it's
like it's too much
i don't know how every single day you
can just want to look up all this info
and be happy from it because it just
feels like 95 of what you're doing is a
waste of time it doesn't
excite or entertain or do anything
it's just there like you know what i
mean like
said earlier in the episode it's no
surprise that like mental illness is
like drastically on the rise yeah across
generations
and it is
solely social media's fault it is it's a
[ __ ] plague i say it every episode
like just get off of it it sucks it'll
never happen
social media can never go away but
i i can't stand it anymore it just feels
so [ __ ] pointless
you've packaged socialization into this
little thing that fits in the in your
hand and humans inherently like
socialization
even people that don't they do
yeah
yeah i i see
there are upsides they used to be fun
but yeah i also i'm not i'm not [ __ ]
like deriding it like i understand it i
get the purpose i see it's utility in
fact it like it helps for a lot of stuff
like if you're organizing a group or
need to communicate with someone or
spreading news like twitter spreads
[ __ ] news
good or bad like wildfire it just goes
everywhere but
95 of what you get on there is
like you don't even remember it that's
the big thing when you browse twitter or
tick tock or what [ __ ] have you after
30 minutes you forget the vast majority
of what you even just looked at so it's
like what's the point i would so much
rather watch a show that i can then talk
about or work on something i can show
off or play a game that i'm going to
remember and like sync time into and
play with friends you know ideally you
shouldn't be browsing twitter on like
your computer anyway it's like i do it
on the toilet and i look at cat photos
you know
yeah
but that's when i read that's when i
start reading i either read books or
manga and it's like i get i get more out
of that when did you start reading what
are you reading right now
uh house of leaves actually i think i
mentioned oh good book yeah yeah great i
think i talked about it a few months ago
i got i got kind of like
zoned out and took a break but i'm
picking it back up again it's good it's
such a it's such a creative book i love
house of leaves but but i mean it's not
important the specifics the whole point
is that i've just found more fulfillment
instead of browsing social media finding
like okay i'm going to read this manga i
want to read or i'm going to pick up
this book or just doing something with
substance you know
it's just a personal thing i guess i
don't know
yes you're so much better than everyone
else and that's how everyone is trying
to not come off as because it is
pretentious but
i get it it's pretentious but i just
realized i'm sticking to it it's my
opinion you know everyone should read
you're completely in the right yeah
everyone should read it
social
there's no argument there social media
is substanceless
substance less
it's it's just devoid of any kind of
substance that's what i'm trying to say
yeah
it depends you have to follow the right
people i like to think that i'm actually
kind of good at using twitter not as in
promoting myself or anything just like a
user a reader because i follow such an
eclectic collection of like
people like the most demented literal
[ __ ] eaters and such and then on the
other hand really talented artists and
scientists and
people whose sub stack articles i really
like
and all that sort of stuff and of course
cat photos you have to throw those in so
um you know your timeline doesn't get
too miserable it's definitely good for
killing also begging for a white
nationalist ethan raptor
so you can have to coordinate your
fights through it yeah
see but that's funny but that's like
yeah it sounds trashy and shitty and
substantial and dumb and like bad for me
but i do that stuff after i've already
done my like
healthier stuff okay i get in bed i read
the myth of sisyphus
which is a depressing [ __ ] really
thick sloggish philosophy book to get
through where i take like 10 minutes for
to understand every damn page and i look
like a [ __ ] every time i read it in
public because i read it so slow so
people probably think i'm illiterate or
something but then you know sometimes i
just want to close it and i want to go
on the internet and i want to laugh at
people i want to turn my brain off for a
little bit too
oh yeah there's nothing there's nothing
wrong with that i just know too many
people
i know way too many people who at any
instance of down time or free time or
having to wait they'll pull out their
phone and they'll open
what have you read it tick tock etc and
then after 10 minutes they're done and
they don't even remember what they
looked at
they don't they don't even care and it's
reflexive because they open it and they
don't even like look at anything they
don't get any invested they don't even
consume anything they just scroll and
it's like a habit and i like i'll even
ask like what are you doing what are you
looking at and they'll go oh nothing
it's like okay
it's like that's so pointless [ __ ] it i
can probably pinpoint when this culture
of social media got objectively
immeasurably worse is when they
introduced infinite scroll
and when it first came out
my mind scroll and it would keep loading
oh yeah
reddit yeah because it used to be
er every social media site does it yeah
it used to be truly used to be paged
yeah you have page one page like 4chan
works i think still
and then one day they introduced this
new javascript [ __ ] auto refresh
thing where when it detects that your
scroll bar is at the bottom just loads
more posts and you don't really notice
this it's completely transparent you
just think oh this website is infinite
and it just keeps you there infinitely
yeah i'm gonna get to the bottom of this
even if it takes me hours i'll get to
the bottom i see i just feel so fly as
there is no bottom it just feels
like [ __ ] old lately man like i've
been doing this thing where if i have
down time and i know it's going to be
less than 10 minutes i just don't pull
out my phone
i'll just like look at stuff
and just i don't know think what does
that mean what does that mean you just
like stare at the wall well no i'll just
i'll exist i'll [ __ ] meditate on
stuff i'll just be alone with my
thoughts and kind of like you know wait
but everyone pulls out their phone
instinctively and i don't know i just
noticed now how many people
reflexively without even thinking about
it it's their immediate go-to and they
have to be bored for more than a minute
you know what i mean to a 70 year old
man i i definitely feel old i definitely
feel uncool and i know for a fact the
majority of feedback on this episode is
going to be like oh crotchety old man
andrew spewing his dust popping out his
[ __ ] bones and liver i get that i
accept that that is completely true but
at the same time [ __ ] people they'll
be in line at the grocery store and
they'll be behind two people in the
express line and they'll be like oh i
have to wait now behind like two people
in the express line this is going to
take maybe
six minutes and they'll just pull out
their phone and they'll just be browsing
[ __ ] when it's like i don't know
do you really need to be entertained in
a short period of time i don't even like
associating with those kind of people
man like in my entire life like when you
hang out with a friend at a cafe at
starbucks or something and they pull out
their phone while you're talking it's
like okay
we don't need to be friends it
now like i said even when they're
standing in line and such you guys know
that really shitty feeling when you're
watching a movie with someone and they
just stare at their phone it's like
you're doing that but with life it's
even worse than doing it during a movie
this is like your life
they know
oh wow speaking of social media uh
toxicness
kai you posted something in our group
chat about the uh the plastic surgeon
oh yeah yeah so oh that's dystopic yeah
it is so [ __ ] so yesterday i saw a
video on that somebody was reposting
from tiktok and it's a video of that
girl from stranger things who has i
guess oh my god
yeah i saw that today actually on
twitter do you want to describe it isn't
that [ __ ] [ __ ] disgusting yeah that's
so great just let charlie describe it
for them yeah
so the nancy from stranger things uh
there's a tick-tock plastic surgeon and
her whole shtick is like here's what i
would do if they wanted work done
so she talks about nancy the actress her
facial shape and points out things that
she thinks could be improved so she's
like i could go into the masseter and
you guys know how much i love masseter
injections and fix up the shape a little
bit give it more of a heart shape then
do a little bit of chin filling here to
give her a more rounded aesthetic face
then of course i'd go up to the eyebrows
with a little botox to give a bow i'm
drawing diagrams on her face by the way
little arrows pointing
and then when she showed the finished
product i i actually laughed out loud i
was on the toilet and i waltz because
she looks like a [ __ ] turnip
like she looks so much worse
so can you blame me for not wanting my
daughter on this [ __ ] app imagine the
mental illness this gives a young woman
to sit there and have it mathematically
pointed out by another woman no less how
you're ugly
and even by the way natalie is like from
my perspective i mean i i guess personal
opinion or whatever i think natalie's
far more attractive than that she's not
an unattractive person is the key point
you know like if she did this with like
steve buscemi i'd be like okay yeah you
might have a point but she does it with
a woman who by all reasonable accounts
people would say is attractive to some
degree or another here's how that's
not a lot of young girls are going to
look at this and think she's way
prettier than me and she you're like
dissecting how ugly she is what the [ __ ]
yeah
yeah yeah yeah so that's sex i don't
know how familiar you guys are but
that's actually something that's big on
youtube or at least it was
so yeah like makeup artists and i i
didn't see too many plastic surgeons on
youtube but i'm sure that's there too
they would take like celebrities or
whatever is trending whatever actress or
whoever is trending and then they'd make
videos about how they'd make them look
better so they'd start pointing out
flaws and saying well here's how she
should be doing her makeup to hide like
you know the bags under her eyes and
insufferable yeah it's so [ __ ] up it's
so stupid
it's a it is a big trend on youtube i
don't know what it is about people
thinking that like celebrities are
completely immune to just really mean
nasty criticism
because think about it no no this woman
on tick tock is never going to do this
with some random nobody she's never
going to be like i saw this woman on the
street
she might look she might you're giving
her too much quickly though
but the whole no the whole point is she
thinks because that woman she's
critiquing as a celebrity she can just
say all this nasty [ __ ] about her about
her appearance and be justified in it
why why are you commenting on people's
appearances in this way anyway it's so
[ __ ] disgusting why can't you look at
yourself in the mirror and think about
what you're actually like contributing
to the world
it's weird isn't it this is
okay what was that girl's name who was
that girl that sang the okay boomer song
or something and now she's a twitch
streamer
it was like a photo of her that people
put online that was circulating someone
says nico i don't know if that's correct
anyway it is there was a photo for him
like pjs or something and she looks
normal but the comments were some on it
on the tweets was something like um this
is hispanic [ __ ] like this be like or
hispanic women after two months of
marriage be like with the implication
that she had gained weight
and it's like
again they call you a simp when you say
that people shouldn't do this and it's
not about that [ __ ] girl like i don't
care about these people any of them but
the point is that like there's young
women who see that
and they can see with their own two eyes
that this is a normal looking woman and
maybe a woman that again looks even
better than they do because maybe you're
a young girl and you're thinking she's
beautiful and you know i even have a few
pounds on her and her boobs are bigger
than mine and and they're dunking on her
and calling her fat and frumpy and ugly
and telling her she shouldn't take
photos without makeup it's like
ah it's impossible not to compare
yourself in that situation
it's it's
definitely bad also andrew's right
the plastic surgeon doesn't do this for
random people
yeah it's all celebrities
random people she's not to get views on
that yeah look at this that is a part of
it but i think the other part also is
because they're celebrities and they're
seen as like
a more product-less person she feels
like she can just pick this person's
looks and physical features apart with
reckless abandon yeah she feels like
they won't see it or whatever exactly
like you said they're they're a product
and like yeah there's some yeah imagine
if she's
mostly used imagine if she did this to a
another like tick-tock user like that'd
just be bullying
just flat out be bullying but it's okay
[Music]
you will not find many ugly people i
remember when um i think tick tock's
internal document or something got
leaked at some point and it turned out
that they
they do not allow ugly people on the
front page of the air ugly or fat people
i'm not [ __ ] you
that's not even that's not true i've
absolutely seen like fat people maybe
they changed it's but there was nothing
jackson follows fat channels exclusively
there was a big controversy because it
did come out that tick tock actively
suppressed people that weren't pretty or
if they were overweight
dude that's [ __ ] up but i also get it
man because the whole point of this [ __ ]
is to keep you [ __ ] like depressed
and addicted and looking at it like oh
she's so much prettier than i am i gotta
see what she's doing
i get it but didn't the beauty industry
already do this but with the whole fat
positivity movement where they put fat
models on stuff and it still didn't help
what was funny is the whole big thing
about that was they were gonna do real
models they were like okay this is what
real women look like this one is in a
wheelchair and this one's fat and this
one has burn scars and we're gonna put
them in the thing and then they just
photoshop the [ __ ] out of them anyway so
it just completely just uh defeated the
purpose
oh absolutely i remember you guys i'm
sure
you have heard of tess holliday right
she was one of the original haste
activists health at every size a fan
activist
and she would do these like photo shoots
and [ __ ] i i am super morbid she's she
is mega obese i'm super morbidly obese
but here i am in a bikini anyway because
fat is beautiful and [ __ ] you if you
disagree and doctors can die
and turns out oh you photoshop all of
your photos to remove the cellulite i
wonder why what happened to fat is
beautiful
why is morbid obesity what does it
require photoshop now on top of it
i don't know somebody's shaming a
disorder shame is good thing you
shouldn't be [ __ ] obese
but yeah wasn't test holiday the one
where yeah she was huge on haze and
health at every size but then recently
she put out tweets where she was like
for the safety of my health i have to
lose weight wasn't that her she she was
saying that she's anorexic and she's
been battling with anorexia no that's
not my joke that's what she actually
said i'm not even joking
[Laughter]
she said she has eating problems
i don't know [ __ ] i think there was i
thought there was some plus size model
who for years was like it does sound be
fat and you'll be happy what you're
confusing andrew is you're talking about
rebel wilson she
for a long time used to say amy schumer
stole her stick of being like the
overweight
silly silly lady and then rebel wilson
lost a lot of weight and people got
really mad at her for losing weight
because she'd always been proud of her
size but she wanted to be healthier so
she lost weight and then people got very
upset that might be what i'm thinking
about that's absolutely what you're
thinking of it's so weird
that's always the weirdest thing the
crabs in a bucket mentality they do the
same thing with every like celebrated
women especially where
who adele yeah adele also lost a bunch
of weight oh that was another big one
yeah yeah yeah called her a traitor
it's it's the [ __ ] american culture
man it's so much easier to hate than
than put in the work yourself
so it's like okay well i could lose
weight or i could just [ __ ] on this
person and feel better at the end i
don't care if someone's fat but you
should be aware of the health
consequences of being fat and you
shouldn't like sugarcoat it
or shame them all those things i don't
want this to be misconceptions that you
should never make fun of someone's body
but like not someone like [ __ ] what's
her face nicole lola or the girl from
stranger things like these are normal
looking healthy women go make fun of
tammy slayton that's a lifestyle that no
one should support i found a test
holiday i think well you're gonna be
going and making fun of people
regardless it's just
yeah while you're allowed to do whatever
you want with your body like straight up
do anything you want you should not
purport with some of your things as
healthy like you can you can eat
yourself to 400 pounds buy all meats do
it if you want to that is your choice
but to tell other people that like
you're healthy at that weight no that's
no
the reason the reason i'm okay with
bullying people like tess holiday is
because she goes around promoting this
[ __ ] that's my problem i don't want
people going around telling like yeah
okay that's that's stuff you're facing
you can make it a more
i think you can make it a more
productive argument by not stooping to
just shaming and bullying
because it's scientific there's
i mean we we [ __ ] on elon musk for his
grotesque body
yeah you know what you're right yeah
true
true holy [ __ ]
yeah yeah it's all right
celebrity products his body is pretty
stupid though am i right boys
man he's got a dumb looking body a
little marshmallow guy it's the
mayonnaise monster he's coming out of
retirement
plus he's a he's a billionaire it's fun
yeah billionaires don't have feelings
man [ __ ] that guy he's a billionaire who
doesn't have sex
i want an extra loser
[Laughter]
you guys want to make a video of us like
working on him in photoshop here's how
we fix his body
i put some synthol in his pectoral
muscles and this area here
i drain the adipose from his chest
give him a nice little lift here here
and here
yeah we're going to want to remove the
penis it's got no use currently he's not
having sex anyway we're gonna put all
that penile growth in his ass give him a
real dumper
he's already gotta
give him a bigger dumper we're gonna
inject him with some melanin we're gonna
give him the reverse like michael
jackson surgery we need to make him
darker my god is he pale
[Laughter]
i don't think elon musk has ever
actually like lifted anything ever
against life like even like a backpack
i think the main thing he needs to do is
just maybe start
like
moving around i guess
are we doing the same thing with elon
musk that that woman was doing with this
stranger things woman mm-hmm yeah that's
what we were joking that's [ __ ]
awesome dude high five that's so funny
isn't it it's [ __ ] great fist bumps
[ __ ] funny as [ __ ]
i do think it's pretty [ __ ] up that
way
that men don't get the same kind of like
here's the difference here's the
difference if elon hit a proper diet and
exercise he could easily shape a lot of
that up meanwhile the other lady is
offering [ __ ] invasive surgery as a
fix to something that's not even a
problem also there's super there are
gender differences men have a much
easier time losing weight than actually
gaining alcohol yeah no absolutely but i
i meant like on a societal level like we
don't get the same kind of
uh yeah but you know men compare
themselves to each other as well but
people don't care about that kind of
side of things
well yeah
okay so the thing is obvious like the
majority of bullying that women
experience come
comes from other women that's
unfortunate but i just think doing my
part as a man i am
unashamedly sexist about this i do not
call women fats that i know in real life
like i tell this to guys that i know if
they're younger just like as a
life lesson that i think is good to pass
on
i don't think you should ever call like
a female friend of yours fat even as a
joke because i guarantee you eat no
matter how jerking you say it that girl
is gonna go home and look at herself in
the mirror and feel bad yeah wait that
uh that reminds me who are you hanging
out with that that needs to be advised
no no kyle's got a point that reminds me
of a fun story that happened to me i
don't think i've told this on the
podcast have i told the the my
girlfriend in the peanut butter story
what the [ __ ] no it sounds like a doctor
no so so i went through this this joking
face with my girlfriend for a while
where uh
i'd retort everything with like your
whatever she said you know like you know
goofy like relationship stuff like she'd
get a bill in the mail and be like oh
this is so dumb and i'd be like you're
dumb you know that kind of stuff
uh yeah incredibly annoying yeah
that sounds miserable what the [ __ ]
being the unlikable human being that i
am but one time
uh we got groceries and i think we
accidentally got chunky peanut butter
instead of smooth and she just looked at
it and went oh this is chunky and i just
reflexively went you're chunky
and it was the only time i've done that
that i actually hurt her feelings
and i felt so bad
just so bad
it made me feel bad yeah
yeah
from that day on i stopped doing that
as as funny and hilarious as it already
was i had to retire it there yeah
how old were you this is like a couple
months ago
yeah
we have fun yeah
i'm not going to come out against all
bullying the name calling jackson that
would make me a hypocrite i talk [ __ ] on
the internet and i eat [ __ ] on the
internet rightfully so yeah
it's a fun time what's your point
my point is it's okay to point and laugh
at some people jackson
that was it
uh
yeah
i guess
well you were telling me not to laugh at
this holiday
i didn't
tell you to do [ __ ] i just think it's
weird
yeah i just think it's weird to like
care that much about another person
where you where you would then go and
shame them or interact with them in a
negative light like that unless they're
like you know a criminal or a pedophile
or something along those lines
yeah or a
super morbidly obese person telling
people kick yourself it's not it's not
even relatable
it's not even in the same ballpark oh my
god we make fun of elon musk's moves for
like half an hour but this is and
but that's more of a societal thing i
don't know
doesn't matter
yeah
you guys want to rap
all right take us out all right
thanks guys for listening to the
official podcast if you want to hang out
on our patreon we've got a patreon over
at patreon.com the official podcast with
bonus episodes
got one going up today it was a fun time
we talked about calm a lot in that one i
think
um yeah that's that's it for this week
thanks guys for listening thanks
everyone bye