how do you break the strong attachment
to your stuff it's easy just become a
minimalist next question you know what I
thought about this and when people are
working with iron right like if they're
hammering iron and forming it into
something new or they need to break off
a piece the easiest way to break a
strong piece of iron is to make it less
strong you have to heat it up in this
case right in order to make that
attachment or to make that that piece
more malleable and I started the wrong
way when I first embraced minimalism I I
started with my mom sentimental items
the hardest piece of the iron right I
like took the iron and try to break it
over my knee right and it was painful
yeah do that so I don't recommend
starting with the most painful items
don't hurt yourself
right so I think the easiest way is to
find the weakest attachments first if we
all own a bunch of stuff that we're not
using and we can all agree that most of
the things that most people own myself
included in my 20s most of it over 90%
of the things I own probably were junk
now I pretended they added some sort of
value to my life but they really were
just excess they were in the way they
weren't adding any real value to my life
but the reason I couldn't let goes
because I had some sort of strong
attachment to it but there were some
things where I could rationalize very
easily I didn't feel that emotional
attachment to it so start with the
easiest things first you get that
momentum and so you can go to your
closet I think most people can start
with their closet or they can start with
their junk drawer or they can start with
their kitchen cabinets and they can go
in there and say what is the thing in
here that I haven't worn the last year I
haven't used in the last year and I'm
not going to use within the next year
that's a derivative of our 9090 rule
eventually you can say have I used this
in the last 90 days am I going to use it
in the next 90 but to develop that to
define the week attachment what's the
thing I've used in the last year I bet
you there are some things that are still
in a box from the last time that
you move maybe it's in a basement or
attic or a closet somewhere maybe you
don't even know what's in that box and
you start there and you realize I
actually have a pretty weak attachment
to this and you give yourself permission
to let go of the weak thing right
because it's already but the iron has
already been heated for that and so it's
easier to break apart and from there you
realize like oh there are other weaker
attachments and you develop the strength
that you need to let go and letting go
becomes a muscle that you strengthen
over time until you get to the point
where you are a minimalist you your
advice even though you said it in jest
it's actually good advice it become a
minimalist meaning strengthen your
letting go muscle yeah
becoming a minimalist I mean that's much
easier said than done but that's you
know what you just described is kind of
the process of becoming a minimalist I
think one of the like the biggest things
that I do to help me not get attached to
stuff is I have stopped bringing stuff
into my life that I know I'm going to be
attached to like I started thinking
about uh when Mariah and I go on
different vacations I mean we've been to
Europe we've been to Tokyo we've been to
Germany we've minused some really
awesome places I've got nothing no Josh
no tchotchkes from any of those any of
those trips uh you know partly because
like I don't want to have to make room
for it on the airplane right so I mean
like there's that there's that motivator
there but but owning so on our last trip
you you're talking about that someone
tried to give me a thing that I actually
was gonna get some value was a book
right we were down at Dave Ramsey's
compound I said hey would you be willing
to mail one of those to me because my
bag the packed one bag that you and I
both use has exactly enough space for
the things that I'm going to use during
my trip yeah now could I cram a book in
there yes it's gonna make it heavier
which is a perfect metaphor for bringing
new stuff into our lives we have to
think about these things actually weigh
us down now you see that when you're
traveling you may not see it when you're
just storing that extra of widget or the
the cha-cha key from Germany or wherever
you're store in your house but in a way
it does weigh you down right yeah I mean
the bag too it's I mean it is a it's a
limitation that
that we give ourselves when were on tour
when we're traveling we have our bag
there are the things that fit in the bag
and anything that doesn't fit in the bag
well it doesn't go in the bag but it's
also a metaphor for the rules and the
limitations we put on ourselves in life
you brought up you know the different
rules that we go by a 90 90 rule or
maybe it's the you know the just in case
rule but souvenirs specifically I will
avoid getting anything that I know I'm
going to it's gonna be really really
hard for me to break free from but what
I'll say man is like going around the
world and traveling and putting this in
a practice it has built that muscle to
the point now where I don't even crave
souvenirs if anything I'll go back I got
pictures you know uploaded to my
computer like I'll go back and look at
pictures and remember the good times and
you know try to try to oh trigger some
of those memories from those amazing
trips the only the things to do that
exactly so so yes me me you you've got
to get some momentum built yes start
with the small stuff start with the
things that you can let go of easily but
you know the other way I look at this
too man is like I think about drug
addiction and how does one stop being
addicted to drugs and and this is a
probably a little bit of an extreme
example for most when it comes to our
things but if you think about the
process of getting rid of that addiction
you first must recognize that you have a
problem then you must start to take
steps to rectify that problem it might
be getting some support from someone
else maybe going in you know seeing a
counselor or something it might be
having an accountability buddy who is is
there a sponsor that you can call when
you're really having a hard time but
ultimately when you think about drug
addiction you have to find a way you
have to find a way to break this cycle
you have to find a way to change your
state you have to find a way to start
moving forward in a different way yeah
so if you want to break free I think
that's a great analogy I think of a ship
that is out at sea and and if you want
to go somewhere you have to pull your
anchors up but the first thing to do is
stop putting
or anchors down right and that's what
we're doing in our everyday culture and
our credit cards and and our spending
habits have enabled us to actually
continue to bring on more anchors mm-hmm
and the first thing you have to do is
stop putting the anchors out there right
so how do you yeah so how do you stop
being attached to stuff well first stop
buying so much stuff stop bringing the
stuff into your life yeah I totally
agree yeah all right so I think I think
that is where you start and then weaken
your attachment don't start with the
most difficult things eventually you
will get there but let's start with
those weak attachments break that cycle
build that letting go muscle and then
you'll be able to move forward to the
things that are more difficult it really
comes down to habits man and may it this
makes me think of to when you gave up
someone had you know I figured what
article it was or what radio interview
one of the first times I was I was
interviewed by a guy named Craig what
are your what are your most prized
possessions what are your favorite
things that you own he had a blog called
simple black coffee I think is what it
was called or and and yeah he asked that
question like what are the your three mo
what are your three favorite items it's
kind of like a gotcha question I know
you're a minimalist but what items do
you have that you were just not willing
to part with what do you love yeah I
think that's the implicit message yeah
it is like what are the things are
difficult for you to get rid of right
and I got to thinking about that not I
had a favorite shirt at the time was
from j.crew was like this button-up
striped shirt and then I had this pair
of jeans and I had this pair of Allen
Edmonds shoes and I might here my three
favorite pieces of clothes I really
enjoy them I feel comfortable in them
but then I got to thinking like wait a
minute why are these my favorites
they're just clothes right and I said
you know what hey Craig here here are
the here are my three favorite pieces of
clothes and I send in pictures but what
I'd like to do here is I'd like to just
give them away to someone who can give
value from them and what I realized in
that process is they're just things
they're replaceable things yeah and
other things actually stepped up and and
here's the thing that sure I guarantee
if I would have held on to I still owned
us today it would no longer be my
favorite shirt now
and by letting a go i realize i could
also let go of that attachment to help
me build that letting go muscle yeah
what a great what a great idea for
someone out there who has a hard time of
letting go of stuff pick something that
you're not gonna be devastated if you
let go of like I think about what
something that's a little difficult
right exactly I was thinking I'm
thinking about when I was going through
the packing party stuff and I had that
shoebox of the letters to my that my mom
wrote wrote me in high school there was
you know pictures of me and my prom date
so forth and so on and I picked one
thing out of that box I picked a letter
from my mom and he sold it on eBay
that's right I scanned it I put it in
the trash I did not feel that much pain
although there was this feeling that I
was going to have so much pain letting
that letter go well two things we make
things way harder than what they
actually are right so that's first and
foremost the other thing too is dude I
scan that letter I have not read it
since I scanned it so the the physical
possessions that I was holding onto that
I thought had so much sentimental value
well they just didn't really mean as
much as I had initially thought and just
getting a little bit of courage to let
go of that one letter getting some
courage to let go of that pair of jeans
that pair of shoes dude those shoes told
I got David a job remember that yeah so
so we have a friend he lives in Chicago
now but he lived in San Diego at the
time and so I put up the the post about
Hayes if anyone wants these just send me
an email and why why they would add
value to your life Alda send it to you
right yeah and a pair of shoes well he
emailed me and he was ahem about to go
on this job interview I can really use a
nice pair of shoes that help me feel
confident for this job interviewing
there were nice pair shoes Alamance
makes really nice shoes they're good
dress shoes he's I mean I got the job in
ER I got the job after we're in these
shoes interview now I don't think a pair
of shoes will get you the the job but I
think for him it was like it was added
this piece of confidence sharing him and
you realize something for for free can
your confidence is free in a way yeah
and I wasn't gonna I was gonna get
nearly as much value as he got from from
those pair of shoes so me letting go
actually helped other people in the
process yeah dude so I guess the moral
of the story is is you know not only do
we make things a little bit harder in
our minds before we we take action on it
the other thing too is sometimes we take
the action and not only is it not as
difficult as we anticipate it but there
are some amazing benefits that happen
from letting go so yeah me me take a
little courage find something that you
can let go of and get some momentum
built
you