oh my God look you guys it's death hey
is anyone got a cell phone I can borrow
God's been paging me for like 20 minutes
wait you still use a pager yeah well we
thought once we got Steve Jobs in heaven
we'd all get iPhones but he never showed
up
wait a minute you work with God Oh death
we've been looking all over for that guy
will you take us to him sure but don't
you mean her look at your faces of
course it's the dude come on let's go
well as I understand it daddy's chair
squat had another failed dismount we
know that we are the BTS
T Oh Brittany you dumb [ __ ] I said I was
gonna cradle out how did you not hear me
that's right Chris is my new heir and
now to show you my overwhelming love and
affection okay that's enough you're not
my wife anyway I want you to have the
money you're the only person who
understands this crazy world except for
maybe and way too Frank dear diary when
this war is over I'm gonna get a
cucumber and working into a pickle and
you can take that to the bank of Berlin
she could think no one's ever gonna read
this look at this 1940s tampon I know in
that sermon that's how they used to do
it back then it's just sawdust in a
burlap sack you had to jump on it from a
second-floor window we'll take it too
gross will Oh here's me getting my first
haircut
here's me getting my 350 first haircut
and here's when I couldn't take no more
I killed that barber and it's weird
being here without Grandma I keep
thinking she's gonna walk through that
door any minute oh honey I know but I'm
afraid she's dead this is real life not
some magical fairy tale and so okay wait
look look look look
there's there's something about death
that I didn't tell you before because
kids aren't supposed to know about it
till they get older Oh an adult secret
yeah yeah yeah so um when someone dies
uh they they actually do go somewhere uh
heaven really what's it like well first
of all you can have any hairstyle you
want instantly you don't have to go
through that awkward growing it out
phase but do you still get to go to the
salon of course you have to get it set
and everyone in heaven only speaks
English none of those mumbly Yeley
languages what about clicky Flemmi ones
no none of those either and every corner
has a fire and ten fire engines putting
it out do they have a person to ring the
bells no they need someone to do that
that's my thing all right here I come
you can't kill yourself though because
because they don't let you in if you do
that so Brodie Jenna's not gonna be
there
what he didn't kill himself he didn't oh
no so he's choosing to live as Brody
Jenna that's so sad well I'm glad
everything's back to normal
Peter your mother's dead yeah but at
least she's alive what are you talking
about Peter well you see Lois the key in
life is to lie to yourself about reality
smile through everything all the bad
things where you just pile them away in
a place that will come back one day in
the form of I don't know rage
but everything's fine I'll see you in
bed