all right so I didn't have my old Wii
Fit balance board so I had to order one
but it has finally arrived and I'm ready
to play Wii Fit know what's funny is my
parents mieze my mom and dad mieze were
deleted and they replaced them with
these two people and I'm not sure why I
got the idea of my parents I'm not the
same color as me maybe I'm adopted in
Wii Fit world but whatever seems like a
nice night for a workout I wouldn't
agree with that oh let me think it has
been two thousand five hundred and
thirty nine days since your last session
how many years is that you know you can
change the color of your calendar holy
[ __ ] this is earth-shattering maybe
we'll do some training and focus on
getting in shape before I get back on
the body test you know for those of you
who are rather new to my channel I
actually tore my ACL playing hockey back
in January and it's still kind of not
full I'm still not fully cleared for
sport activities I'm just gonna use that
as my excuse why I might be really bad
at doing this up I know squatting I am
not good at doing squats with this knee
still I don't want to do a workout mmm
that feels good all right I'm done with
this that was a good workout Oh
soccer heading is my favorite oh I don't
know about advanced all right whatever
we'll do advanced this was always my
favorite game honestly this should be my
physical therapy for my torn ACL I
should have just done we fit I'm a god
not you chew no no no go other way I'm
so slow at going back and forth ah
[ __ ] dodge that one in the middle I
don't have a good center of balance no
all I'm gonna fall off this thing a lot
harder than I remember let's see how
that does I don't I think I was much
better in my younger years actually
holy [ __ ] I was I was obviously still
not coordinated back then
oh why did I jump off it pull up this is
why we're not doing well we aren't beef
boss who I'm gonna touch myself in the
weenie I says watch this does that mean
I have to do a body test though Oh
actually we're just gonna make ourselves
really short we're just gonna really
make beef boss the fattest
mother-fricker we Sports has ever seen
her Wii Fit oh [ __ ]
1 foot 8 it's a baby
[Laughter]
1975 sounds like a pretty good year wait
we're gonna say that we need another 7
pounds on top of that oh boy well I
guess we're I mean we're above 22 that
means we were really unlikely to get
sick right your BMI is over 25 you may
have increased health risks yikes
alright this is a big reveal actually
yeah it's not that bad
hey what's wrong with being 49 that's
the prime of your life my deadline is
wait I'd like to be like to be 4.2
pounds heavier from today even though my
BMI is it 99.99 what a great goal let's
get fatter now let's start working
toward a BMI
oh that's great
I've only missed one does that make me a
god there's too much pressure
ah I'm a champion though dude that's the
best anyone's ever done god I'm a gun
and all I needed to do is be beef boss
all right we got it all right come on
why are we hanging our heads about that
wolf yeah I doesn't guess that wasn't
that great I feel like that one was
pretty decent I missed a few but oh come
on we're still hanging our heads
don't miss that one miss that one too
and miss oh god damn and I'm doing so
good that I just [ __ ] the britches haha
why did why does this platform look like
two testicles
come on it got stuck in the crack what
do you want me to do mmm yes Daddy oh
[ __ ] this don't work out though
oops I did not know what I was supposed
to do there hey can I just go back and
forth no no no it knows it knows I'm not
actually doing a hula all right I'm not
playing any more aerobic games after
this one this is too much of a [ __ ]
work out a little calorie roaster no
[ __ ] oh you've collected enough bitcoins
for a New Balance game
no no no no well champion I'm the best
new record I could never do that
as a young stud but today as an old
wildebeest I tightrope across the
scariest towers in the world Wow I I'm
so good at this why was this so hard
before him I just I'm just a balance
expert now
I beat tight-roping completely utterly
destroyed it is there like a cheat code
of unlock all games on Wii Fit I'm an
amateur penguin put that one on my
resume well I never remember this game
being so boring like what is there to
frickin play balance bubble all right
here we go
this takes a lot of concentration oh
damn it No damn it damn it damn it
there's so much concentration that this
takes
I don't like bees I hate bees so much I
couldn't stop it was like watching a
train wreck in front of my eyes that I
couldn't stop I mean that was my new
rocker - yeah
it's not good throw off playing Wii
Sports or grief it
I don't think hula hooping is that fun
even when you're on a Wii Fit board or
when you're in real life I don't think
hula hooping is fun either way I'm
losing motivation all right come on I'm
trying I'm trying really hard come on
throw the hips into it
mm mm yes all right it's like I got the
Olympic rings going over me around me
goof the trick is to swing your hips in
a large neat circle I can tell you these
hips are large and they do not lie oh
I'm off tonight yeah you know my hips
don't lie and I'm starting to feel yeah
boy detection attention yeah this is so
much fun why did they invent we [ __ ]
fit oh I can't hula hoop to save my dick
poof all right we really need the hips
going here come on
get sick get sick
all right there's only seven seconds
left [ __ ] this we gotta take a break
gotta take a breather
can I just start going right
dude I can just stand here and shake my
booty oh [ __ ] I'm cool with that I'm
cool with ending early I think I just
made Portugal or something
ooh a new Balance oh we got that thing
that we got that Kaelin can't candle
game sit on the balance board like
folded if you find this hard it's not
gonna be the only thing I find hard down
there unbelievable myself this is a
kid's channel oh there goes the knees
whoo all right here we are I'm sitting
how does it know what I'm thinking about
oh look a moving my butt do you think
the balance board would know if you
farted to get it closer holy [ __ ] this
is a scary game end what the [ __ ] is
this this is like Slenderman Wii Fit
board the question is how long can I
just sit here looking at a candle
without losing my mind but God dude why
that's wait what what how do I lose what
am i doing I'm just sitting here this
doesn't make sense
I don't get scared or anything well a
butterfly Oh
a dainty butterfly there's way too much
pressure in this game that butterfly is
killing me it is killing me what's gone
now my view is it moving up
all right why is there so many annoying
things going on I just want to freak out
I just want to make a loud noise stand
up and jump this is driving me nuts
stop I hate I hate this I hate this so
much
and I hate it the end I can't I can't do
it I don't know how long it expects you
to just sit your ass on a balance board
for to get to like champion level or
star level but I am I am so not no no no
I'm I'm done with that
honestly glad to do it let's do the
push-up challenge challenge your trainer
and see who can do more push-ups I can
tell you who's gonna win this one all
right so I'm bent over like I'm about to
take it in the ass can't I have put both
hands on the balance board what do you
want me to do place both hands on the we
balance board all right I know what you
want from me woman I'm puttin both hands
on my we balance board and nothing's
happening you just want to look at my
ass you know what I am NOT an object and
I'm I'm done I cannot stand you anymore
[Music]