Here comes the fabulous
Price is Rising!
Oh, Bob Barker looks terrible.
Ew, he's even older than I thought
A folks please.
Bob Barker is is dead.
And I'm your president, Joe Biden.
He looks like a Halloween
decoration.
Oh, come on, man.
Now, welcome to
The Price is Rising.
Where you guess
how much the cost of common
household goods has changed
during my pregnancy.
Because guess what?
Bidenomics is working.
Let's bring out our showcase
model, Trixie.
(Sniff)
So pretty beautiful.
She's 25,
but doesn't look a day over 17.
I love kids.
Okay, let's.
Let's. Let's meet our contestants.
Hey, I'm Nate.
I'm from Norfolk, Nebraska.
I used to drive an 18 wheeler
through Norfolk.
I well, I don't.
I don't think you did.
Who's next?
I am, Chip.
I'm from Tulsa, Oklahoma.
I used to work
the oil fields in Tulsa.
No, you didn't.
Okay, who's next?
Who are you?
I'm Martha,
and I'm from Grove City, Ohio.
Oh.
I want to capture the cratchra...
Sasquatch in Grove City.
That doesn't even make any sense.
Where's Jackie?
Jackie? Jackie, are you here?
Who Jackie?
She was going to be here. Jackie?
And anyway let’s,
let's see our next item.
First item
Ah! Boneless chicken breasts.
Three years ago,
you could get that for a dollar.
How much you think they cost now?
$5.15 crypt keeper.
I mean, President Joe Biden,
$8.40.
$10.60, sir.
Well, let's see the actual price
$8.44.
Chip is correct.
Oops. Wait, wait.
It just went up to $10.60.
Now Nate is right. (Yeah! Yeah!)
God love you.
Bidenomics is working.
Next, we have something that
we're all familiar with.
It's a giant plastic garbage bag
used to avoid gasoline.
That fuel smells almost as good
as your Trixie.
You know I hit on you
if you
weren't sleeping
with Hunter already.
I love kids.
Now contestants.
Guess the price.
$87.50 Gollum
I mean, President Biden.
93. Hold on.
What happened?
Biden's administration
shut down another pipeline
and the price went up again.
Oh, come on, man.
I wouldn't pay that much
for a plastic bag full of anything.
Hunter has.
Nevermind. I'm going to outlaw
gas stove and gas cards,
so we won't need gasoline anyway.
Bidenomics is working.
Why do you keep saying that?
Who are you whispering to?
Our next item
is one of the most exspreseh
expensive things
money can buy.
A dozen eggs.
Come on, man.
Where's the other egg?
I tried to steal one.
They're extremely valuable.
Alright.
How much do you think that costs?
$2.95 Methuselah.
I mean, President Biden.
$3.50. $4.00.
And the
actual price is
$6.70.
$6.70 for eggs?
Looks like I'm having Corn Pops
for breakfast.
Corn pop?
Where is he? Corn pops.
You know the food.
Thought you were talking about Corn Pop
the dude.
Oh, you made the hair on my legs
stand up.
What are you talking about?
Oh, I know about Corn Pop
and about roaches
and about the hair on my legs
Bidenomics is working.
How is it working?
All the prices keep going up.
Come on, man.
Lots of prices are coming down.
Guess the price of hotel junk fee.
What's a hotel junk fee? Who cares about hotel junk fees.
Who cares about hotel junk fees?
Is that like when they,
when they charge you
for the continental breakfast?
Let's see the actual price.
No!
No hotel junk fees
Bidenomics is working.
None of this makes any sense.
Everyone is getting poorer
because of your policy.
That's a bunch of, like, malarkey.
I got. I got a lot richer.
I got 10% for the big guy,
and Zelinski got much richer.
Guess how much I sent to Ukraine?
$40 billion.
$80 billion?
I don't know.
Infinity billion dollars.
I'm still sending them more.
So Chip is the closest without
going over.
How are you even hosting
this show right now?
Who's in charge?
Well, you're
not at the White House.
Kamala is in charge,
just like when I'm
at the White House.
That's it for today's
episode of Jeopardy.
I'm Joe Biden
reminding you
to get your trans sexual
transmission, transit, transit.
Transgender athletes spayed
and neutered
before they compete
in female sports.
What's he talking about? I have know idea.
I don't disagree with him.
Being spayed its like a hysterectomy.
I think it's more of a disadvantage
because they stick to your legs
when you run.
(Sniffing)
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