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hey I need you to take me to the doctor
for my prenatal vitamins I'm not taking
you anywhere she's how far along are you
I'm not really sure two days six months
there's a certain amount of guesswork
involved in this oh and while I'm
pregnant I'm going to need you to change
the cat litter we don't have a cat
please don't fight me on this Oh my back
is killing me and I've also been
experiencing a little morning sickness
it's for the baby it's for the baby
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you look ridiculous like that not too
ridiculous for you to put a baby in me
okay Riley and I'm dr. Hartman now
before we begin I want you to know the
record is just past my watch whale it
takes two people to break a record you
look a little young how old are you Oh
13 14 15 but but he didn't force himself
on me I wanted it too well that's the
important thing that's hard your vagina
seems to have a penis and two testicles
oh right I sneezed real hard and all
that came out
wow that explains it could you do that
thing where you take some fluid and tell
me if it's going to be an imbecile or a
[ __ ] oh not to worry there are places
where those people can be warehoused but
from strictly eyeballing you I'd say
everything looks fine that's wonderful
no Brian did you have any questions for
the doctor yeah are there a lot of
stairs in this building god we need so
much stuff look at how tiny all these
clothes are it's so adorable what kind
of feet can fit into these shoes your
feet that's getting old you know you
better get on board with this Oh
how far along are you eight months you
look amazing let me ask you are you
leaking because I've been leaking how
old are you how old are you you look
like you're 40 which means whatever
you've got in there is a hun percent
brain-damaged all right you have a good
day
I hated that lady I like these these are
good very classic
this feels incredibly wrong we're going
to want these Brian believe me you can't
see my nipples can you they're getting
really large and I'm not sure if I'm
completely covering them you know what
we'll see what we see let's get a few
candids dad can I get one of your head
on the belly Oh dad I'm just called
emotional
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Elkanah people really loved that viral
video of a monkey forcing that sex act
on a frog at the zoo so maybe we can
find another frog for something like
that be like that frog oh that frog of
the miniskirt putting a quarter in the
jukebox
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turn that frogs in more trouble than she
realizes I'm having such a craving for
burgers it's like my body is just
craving red meat and mint chip ice cream
but only mint chip any other ice cream
makes me want to puke is that weird
yes Stewie that's the one weird thing in
all this what are you looking at
go push your buttons my husband will
kick your ass stop saying I'm your
husband Oh Brian I need you to take me
to the hospital why my water just broke
oh my god it's okay don't panic call the
doula Brian you've got to call the doula
doula I don't even know what that is
it's a divorced woman who knows about
lady parts and cheers you on let's go
you're gonna have to drive a little
faster already going over the speed
limits we're too late pulled over it's
starting to come out of where I'm not
sure exactly Brian I'm going to need you
to deliver the baby oh okay can you wait
a second while I put a towel down I
don't want anything to get on the seats
oh no of course our first priority it
should be to keep the vinyl clean oh god
oh god it's coming Oh
can you see the head I don't know where
to look but maybe you should look at the
part of me where there's a baby coming
out
how did Murphy Brown make this look so
easy careful don't get anything on the
seats
oh god I think another one's coming I
don't see it I think it's coming out of
my mouth whatever comes out save it I
want to eat it oh god they're crawling
all over me how many are there now four
five six seven Mazel Tov
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hi I just put Jack and Rose down for
their nap and I'm trying to keep the
more attractive ones in this area this
is a nightmare
oh I caught two of them trying to eat
each other so that's something we need
to watch out for look bright one looks
just like you huh oh you know what I
guess he does you know I was actually
thinking this could be a chance for you
to finally make things right what what
do you mean well you do have a son that
you were never there for this is your
opportunity to do things differently
Oh maybe you're right I'm suppose I
could give it a try there you go
Oh dick really likes you I like dick aha
you like dick his name's not dick you
idiot it's Finn
all right let's check our YouTube
channel and see how we're doing boy they
just went right after Cleveland didn't
they he's that word looks even harsher
when it's in all caps Wow people really
seem to hate everything we put on here
it's such and I worked really hard on
taking a picture of myself every day for
a year and then set in the photos to an
emotional song look
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yeah so we're thinking about selling the
house
hey stop squirming in there this one's
bones all feel loose I think that one is
blind we'll have to get him little
sunglasses great because dog head human
ears over here doesn't react to anything
I say hey hey you okay this one is deaf
we are going to be spending a fortune on
schools how are we gonna pay for that
you tell me
y'all want to insist that I be a
stay-at-home mom I don't even have a job
well you better get one and not writing
a real job are you being such a jerk I
don't know I'm sorry I just I just feel
like once I get the bottle schedule
everything will be fine
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can't believe we couldn't come up with a
viral video we should just gotten Jimmy
Fallon to do any lame thing coming up a
white waiter at a Chinese restaurant
will get you the facts on this bizarre
story but first this week's viral video
fat kid hustles through crosswalk here
it is here's little chub Oh pulling up
the rear um he's got to get moving now
that's right don't let your chocolate
levels get too low can't believe Chris
gets four million hits just crossing the
street I guess we were trying too hard
hey I went by your house the other day
is your baby pregnant I don't know Lois
is in charge of the kids Stewie this is
awful I don't know why anyone would want
to be a parent especially the four
children full I thought we were down to
five
yeah the Deaf one didn't hear Joe's
lawnmower that's really upsetting I
can't take this anymore Stewie I'm sorry
I gotta get out of here what what are
you going stop doing that
I need a break all right I just got to
get away for a couple weeks couple of
weeks
you don't leaving me alone with these
things the whole point of this was for
us to spend more time together what are
you talking about the whole point of
what well you've been so distant lately
I thought if we had a baby it would
bring us closer together
what I was only distant because you've
been so moody lately I thought you
needed more space I always want to hang
out with you I'm his only moody because
you were so distant I always want to
hang out with you too
oh my god
so we didn't have to do any of this like
I guess not how attached to them are you
not at all yeah me either this is for
the best
yeah I mean I'm sure they'll be adopted
oh god yeah I'm still keeping all the
gifts from the baby shower you had a
baby shower oh now this makes it real oh
my goodness that's enough cake for you
Mary Beth
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