so I saw a video where you said who you
choose as a spouse will dictate your
success or failure why is it only on
women do guys not count that's a really
good great question I'm guessing it's a
woman asking that question so guess what
guys do count so if a woman is a Captain
Save A bro just like I say hey man if if
a guy is a Captain Save A Hoe meaning
you're going to take this this chick who
has you know who's who's damaged who has
doesn't share your vision who is a maybe
a gold digger and you're going to try
and save her make her codependent on you
and then later in life complain that she
cheated on you or she made life hard for
you and you weren't able to succeed
because you're always trying to appease
her well guess what there's women out
there who are Captain Save A Bros like
they'll look for a guy that's like their
broken dad angry upset a cheater and
then they'll try and get with that guy
in order to fix that guy so they can
metaphorically fix their dad that never
works out either right and they get
disappointed in that guy or even worse
they they've been hurt these women and
so they go find a very docile guy who's
very much like a boy maybe he was raised
as a mama's boy and
they want that guy
who is boyish to be a man for them but
you intentionally went and you found a
guy who's docile who's a mama's boy who
has had his wings clipped uh for
whatever reason trauma or or that's just
how he is but now you're trying to make
him into a masculine man but you want to
be safe but you treat him like a son
more like than a man that that's not
going to work either like how are you
going to achieve your goals in life
unless you're equally yoked right and
when two broken people find each other
and they become codependent that's the
worst scenario where it's this whole
constant thing like when I hear
me and I will we go on a date night and
then we hear like a table across from us
like hey are you okay everything okay or
there was this one Thanksgiving party
that I had and we invited uh a former
team member here and they brought the
girlfriend with them to the Thanksgiving
party and I could hear him every now
again he checking with her hey are you
okay everything okay and I knew for a
fact that like he was he definitely had
some trauma in his life he was
definitely a hurt boy right yeah and it
was obvious that he found a hurt girl so
they're both equally hurt they're both
codependent on each other and so you can
tell she's getting frustrated each time
he's checking in every two minutes are
you okay and and I'm getting frustrated
like [ __ ] bro she's okay leave her alone
so yeah guess what the supplies to women
as well if you go find a dude who's a
[ __ ] [ __ ] or who's a child a
man-child and you try and make him your
project and try and make him a man or
try and make him a proper daddy or try
and fix your daddy issues by finding a
[ __ ] angry broken dude you're equally
gonna have a shitty life as well and the
answer to that is find one become whole
Master yourself figure out who you are
and heal and then find someone who's
equally yoked so that you can have a
[ __ ] amazing life together male or
female what is it that someone should be
looking for or actually you're not
looking for what they should be looking
out for male or female and the reason I
ask is because I feel like this happens
a lot nowadays uh before it was like you
couldn't there were no red flags before
of course there were but it was a little
bit different people carried themselves
a little bit differently now
everyone has only fans yep guys are
doing things they're not supposed to be
doing uh it's just kind of all over the
place it's just it's a free-for-all so
what do these guys and girls look out
for when it comes to picking the mix I
feel like this happens a lot where
people are you know just they're it's
just kind of upside down nowadays and so
a lot of things happen bad relationships
have been toxic relationships happen and
they just keep choosing incorrectly they
keep choosing incorrectly the reason
they keep choosing incorrectly is
they're choosing uh based off looks and
based off
desire right like oh man I could bang
her or man uh you know what he's got
nice cars and and looks like he's got a
nice house and he travels everywhere
like that's the kind of guy won it's
like okay well do you know if he comes
from a solid family do you know if Mom
and Dad are still together I mean that
to me might be an indicator it's not a
Make It or Break It but it's an
indicator it's an indicator number one
number two uh are they the type of
people that are looking for some kind of
approval and validation and attention on
social media because now I might I might
creep your social media guy or a girl
and see what kind of person you are if
you're constantly putting pictures and
stupid stuff and the stupid stuff isn't
just about booty shots or flashing cars
and stuff like if you're that negative
attention seeking person like ah things
went wrong in my life uh you know drama
it's like [ __ ] if every third
post is drama or attention seeking or
validation seeking you probably don't
know how to self-soothe you're
constantly looking for external
validation you don't know how to give
internal validation to yourself you
don't know how to love yourself so
you're looking for external happiness
I am in charge of my happiness you can't
make me happy and then if it's this type
of person like oh you make me happy you
complete me guess who completes me me I
complete me I make myself happy my wife
just happens to be a happy benefit right
and vice versa she has to make herself
happy she has to complete herself she
can't have expectations of me making her
happy
that's [ __ ] internal happiness is an
inside job and so if you look for
indicators like even even Faith right
like if like you're you're pretty strong
in your faith if your wife did not share
the same Faith as you would that be a
deal breaker in the beginning like I
know I know how the story went where she
had the faith and then you came into
Faith after right but if it was vice
versa
you have the same level of faith that
you have today and you meet Betsy and
let's say she is faithless would that be
a deal breaker if it stayed that way
yeah probably right but like basically
if someone wasn't willing to have the
conversation to uh either be open to
learning or whatever it is then yeah
there'll probably be an issue right yeah
and so you got to look for all those
things man but when people are just
searching for pleasure looking making
their decision off a swipe on Tinder or
Instagram where the [ __ ] they're looking
these days and it's all based off visual
and based on what people post like are
they looking for attention negative or
positive I don't want that are they
doing something that my core values
don't align with right so let's say you
brought up only fans they say some
chicks doing only fans I have zero
judgment towards that hey you're doing
only fans cool
but I ain't gonna marry you mm-hmm I
don't want my son to marry you because I
raised my son differently and I know
that he would deep down inside have an
issue with that of another man lusting
over
his woman
even if that man will never see that
woman in person and so
that's a deal breaker but when someone's
like oh I can just look past that I can
look past that so I would see him what
is their family situation like what is
their faith like uh what you know are
there core values that I have that they
just are okay to violate and absolutely
just plow through if we don't share core
values then that's that's a deal breaker
on both sides on both sides I remember
talking to my wife in the beginning and
saying hey look uh you're going to
college what are you going to college
for she goes oh I'm going to be a
physical therapist I'm like oh [ __ ] I'm
going to be an entrepreneur and I'm
going to work so hard I'm going to win
back my time and I'll be able to go on
vacations whenever the [ __ ] I want
forever how long I want
um so we're dating but if you're going
to be a physical therapist that means
you're going to have a boss and you're
going to have to get time off and if you
can't get time off then we can't just
have a spontaneous vacation she's like
okay then
I will get my degree in pre-physical
therapy but I won't become a physical
therapist so long as you can make good
I'm becoming a financially successful
entrepreneur I go cool but one of my
core values also is that the mom stays
home with the kids because I don't want
my kids to see the inside of a daycare
or a babysitter like I did
she's like cool like there was this
conversation right and then I got to
meet her parents and she got to meet my
parents and like we took time and so
like if she had social media back then I
might even creep her social media and
see what kind of stuff is she posting is
she posting stuff to elevate Humanity to
serve Humanity to to to to to
inspire or is she posting [ __ ] to get
attention negative attention positive
attention whatever kind of attention
right because if she's doing that then
odds are when I'm away on business I
might get I have my phone blowing up
with negative attention this went wrong
and that went wrong I've got a friend
who's
a very well-known
motivational speaker
and he flies around the country and he
speaks everywhere he played a voicemail
for me that his wife left it was 32
seconds of his
two-year-old daughter
screaming crying
and I was like bro what is up with that
he goes well
I flew to another state
to do a speaking gig
and when I was done speaking
I checked my phone
and there's like five messages from my
wife how frustrated she is about the
daughter
and then the the sixth missed call was a
voicemail that the wife left of just I'm
guessing the baby was crying and she
just held the phone there for like 32
seconds like
is there indicators of that that he
could have seen earlier on all right and
so because he's a friend I talked to him
about it yeah he's like yeah man there
was there was I met her in a bar and
cute girl I thought I could change her
but she was just like getting all the
attention in the bar but when she's not
getting attention and he's getting
attention because that's his job he's a
motivational speaker he doesn't like the
spotlight on him and it's all
subconscious it's probably not even
conscious not consciously trying to [ __ ]
his day up she's just like right now
I've got a two-year-old screaming
and I prefer to get outside validation
because I can't get validation from
taking care of a baby I don't I don't
know how to get love from a baby that's
a whole new level of healing she needs
to do and she's not a bad person she's
just had a bad shake at life but she's
got healing to do so all this to say
that he he saved tried to save her and
try to fix her and it didn't work and
now he's in a predicament where he's a
great inspirational motivational speaker
but God forbid something goes a little
wrong at home he has to hear about it
either then on the spot or when he comes
home but I'm like is it even worth it to
you he goes probably not and we'll see
how that relationship unfolds but when
you are able to see indicators ahead of
time by actively looking for it you will
find things and part of that is the only
way you can look for indicators is if
you know what you're looking for right
so if leighton's like these are my core
values I'm looking for a woman who's
like in your case Hispanic who's
beautiful looks like Selena Who
so it's a long story folks right but but
who's this that and the other has this
kind of Faith as this kind of family
like if you have your check mark
bro it really is that and people like
well that's not romantic
[ __ ] that I want to feel the Romantic
energy but then I'm gonna go you're
gonna be my life partner we're going to
share money we're going to [ __ ]
dominate The World Together uh so I need
to start checking off my [ __ ] boxes
oh nine of these you don't [ __ ] fit
yeah so are you willing to make those
changes and she might go bro 10 of mine
you don't fit right and then I have to
decide if I want to make those changes
and if we compromise
let's go and if we don't kind of like
what you did earlier shake hands and
part ways as friends but that's what's
missing and that's how we end up having
Captain Save A Bros and Captain Save a
hose