it doesn't matter if you're a big sports
fan or what team you root for maybe you
root for the [ __ ] Orlando score
masters or maybe you pulled for the
49ers of the Chiefs doesn't matter and I
think we can all agree that Super Bowl
commercials are truly awful these days
and just suck some fat [ __ ] they're
not enjoyable and I think it's very
clear that the age of creative
entertaining advertising during the
Superbowl is truly dead look no further
than baby nuts Super Bowl commercials
are like the Saturday Night Live of
advertising now safe not humorous suck
[ __ ] almost every commercial can be
boiled down to one thing
celebrity selling product and not in a
creative way like they used to it all
honestly felt like celebrities being
held at gunpoint are being threatened by
Harvey Weinstein to fake enthusiasm over
some boring ass products up here's Chris
Evans doing a goofy accent talking about
a car
here's Rick and Morty in a Pringles
commercial gods not real but Pringles
are Morty they don't even bother to go
that far I was literally just here's
Rick and Morty and some Pringles it's
just super uninspired lazy safe [ __ ]
it's bad it's not it's not good but it
didn't used to be that way the reason
Superbowl commercials got the reputation
they used to have is because it was a
platform for these companies to take
risks and do something creative to get
people excited about the commercials
themselves which in turn gets them
excited about the products for example
Go Daddy Go Daddy used to take some big
[ __ ] risks during the Superbowl and
whether you agree with the approach or
not they at least made it memorable for
example I remember vividly one year
probably one of my first boners during
one of the Super Bowls one of the Go
Daddy commercials was people in a
courtroom a girl with some fat honker
I'm talking some big milkers was in a
courtroom judge was talking about some
shits swinging a gavel every time he'd
swing the gavel [ __ ] strap would fly
off of her shirt and the tits would
jiggle a little bit like it was dead or
alive titty physics on the Xbox 360 and
then right before the whole thing just
fell off and the tits and nipples were
on full display it said go to GoDaddy to
see the rest and you bet your sweet ass
I sprinted over to the family computer
yelled at my mom get the [ __ ] off the
phone you're ruining the dial-up
connection tell Dad not to flush the
toilet I'm trying to use the Internet
just so I could go on GoDaddy and finish
that [ __ ] and won again whether or not
you agree with their approach it was
risk-taking and it's not just GoDaddy
but that's a very prominent example
Doritos used to have some really
creative [ __ ] such as the Doritos
Samurai they had so many creative
commercials that people would talk about
the next day so much so there were
entire show segments dedicated to
counting down the best Super Bowl
commercials that is what Super Bowl
advertising used to be people were
excited to see it some people that
didn't give a [ __ ] about sports or watch
Super Bowl just to see the commercials
do you realize how absurd that is these
days everyone hates commercials
everyone's always hated commercials but
the Super Bowl used to be the exception
because that [ __ ] was wild it was
enjoyable it was entertaining it was fun
it was really good but nowadays these
commercials have gone back to just being
super safe boring uninteresting
formulaic garbage I honestly think if
you counted every Super Bowl commercial
you would find that about 90% used a
celebrity to promote the product but in
the most uninteresting ways possible and
I also really would be surprised if any
of these celebrities gave a [ __ ] about
the [ __ ] products they were
advertising I don't think a
multi-millionaire is using the same
kitchen utensils that they're selling
because they haven't seen a [ __ ]
kitchen and ages they just have a
personal chef and they're cooking them
custom meals from the nutritionist that
they keep in their basement I don't
think they're using the products but
it's very effective for people to for
some reason get on the side of the
product I don't really know why but it
is effective I will say the only
celebrity commercial I thought was
decent at least with the Jason Momoa one
at least that had an ounce of creativity
to it and was pretty decent otherwise
they all just sucked [ __ ] terrible and I
used baby nut as an example earlier I'd
like to expand upon that now maybe not
as the most shameless [ __ ] in planter is
a [ __ ] company I have no respect to
them now they did a pretty cute thing by
killing off mr. planter and some action
hero [ __ ] sacrifice where it falls
off a cliff and explodes that's cute
fine decent little marketing campaign
but then to immediately bring him back
as a baby nut to kind of cash grab off
baby Yoda then have him go on Twitter
live to try and take suggestions from
Twitter people on what he should do and
they had like a [ __ ] intern in a
mocap suit trying to match the
suggestions are you [ __ ] serious
that's the dumbest [ __ ] of all time and
is so shameless it's so terrible it's
[ __ ] bad
desperation from these companies to try
and capture some of the magic of some of
the [ __ ] before or some of the current
trends it's it's despicable it's
despicable [ __ ] and baby nut should be
ashamed the man in that mocap suit
probably I mean he's gonna have a tough
time sleep and the [ __ ] that he saw on
Twitter live I tuned in for one second
just to see some the suggestions that
guy's gotta be feeling all types of ways
he's gonna have to be going to therapy
after reading that [ __ ] in a baby nut in
mocap suit but anyway the point I want
to make is Super Bowl commercials are
dead and I think people realize that now
no one gets excited about him I mean
[ __ ] even go back in time on reddit I
read it's a pretty humorless place in
general but if you just go back to the
front page of Reddit back in like 2010
2011 and after the Super Bowl the front
page was almost all those advertisements
that people loved because a lot of them
were just really [ __ ] good
commercials and good entertainment even
if you don't like the product nowadays
you don't have that you don't have that
during the Superbowl anymore this is
like the fifth year in a row of just
straight [ __ ] just [ __ ] diarrhea it
out and by the numbers marketing garbage
that no one is really resonating with
because it's just bad it's the same
commercials you get all year round on
the [ __ ] our camp platform like TV
and you're still getting the [ __ ] ask
commercial [ __ ] and for the biggest
stage possible you don't even bother to
put effort into a good one it's
insulting and especially the [ __ ] on the
legacy of great Super Bowl commercials
Oh makes me sick to my stomach and I
just kind of wanted to vent about that
at least a Super Bowl itself was pretty
good and I'm glad the Chiefs won I was
pulling for them [ __ ] Tony Gonzalez
that's the only reason I care about the
Chiefs Tony Gonzalez made a VHS tape on
how to catch the ball better and when I
was a kid I watch the [ __ ] out of that
BHS tape so thank you Tony Gonzalez for
that tape and good [ __ ] Chiefs for
pulling it home that's about it baby see
ya