hello everyone my name is Anatolian I
want to congratulate you I want to
congratulate you with the international
South Park reaction day
but before we begin do you feel it
do you feel the Christmas atmosphere
ladies and gentlemen because today we
are reacting to an episode called
Woodland Critters let's see how this
goes
way up in the mountains in a small
little town the main street was being
decorated all up and down people stood
in long line sometimes waiting hours or
more because Christmas needs to be
bought in a store
so they set you up for this nice
Christmas storytelling mode but
something tells me not to trust the
software creators on this one but out in
the forest not too far away the little
Woodland Critters were also preparing
for their Christmas Day
[Music]
the Little Critters worked hard as they
happily sang and each one of them had a
quite interesting name there was
squarely the squirrel rabbity the rabbit
beavery the beaver and Barry the Bear
porcupine the porcupine skunky the skunk
Foxy the Fox and Deery the deer
I don't trust this niceness I repeat I
don't trust this niceness what peccary
the Woodpecker mousy the mouse and
chickadee
the forest their house and on that
magical day stumbling upon all of that
surprise little boy in a red poofball
what the hell Christmas time is once a
year every Critter holds it dear you see
that's actually how kids react in such a
situation like what the hell
it's not a fairy tale if it was a fairy
tale then Stan would have been like
those magnificent creatures shall I go
and play with them
every animal big or small Christmas
means so much to us all
well hello there welcome
well how do you like our Christmas tree
it's nice well it's the most perfect
tree in the forest
oh no I see a problem what is it mousy
our Christmas tree doesn't have a star
oh we can't have a tree with no star on
it what are we gonna do I'm afraid I am
genuinely afraid based on South Park
Logic the knights are the setup the
bloodier the punchline
and so using some paper and working with
Glee the boy in the red poof ball hat
made a star for the tree
as I've mentioned before this is exactly
how a normal human being would react to
a fairy tale situation like this like uh
I wanted to go home now I got involved
in this [ __ ]
cheered and Bibi said with a smile now
would you like to sing and dance with us
for a while the boy in the red poof ball
hat smiled and said uh no thanks I'm
gonna go home
thank you South Park
hey Daddy
I would defecate myself
smiled with joy in his eyes
magical Christmas gift ever porcupine is
pregnant
you guys I have to go to school tomorrow
I deduce the man boy doesn't understand
the seriousness of the fertilization
the Harvest this year is plentiful
savior
what Christianity reference question
mark
okay
we need an angel for our savior to be
born in
[Music]
ah got the hell
to help
[Music]
of course I'll build you a Manger the
little boy cried and he winked at his
Critter friends and leapt to their side
and out in the woods the boy steamed
right ahead making a place for the
Critter babe to lay its sweet head
you know they all look nice
but I think if you refuse to do what
they say and the bear alone can handle
your [ __ ] like a pack of jelly beans
[Music]
it is I'm not coming out well this is
the end the mountain lion obviously
knows porcupine is pregnant and he's
gonna kill it again again
every Christmas the mountain lion comes
down and eats the Virgin Critter
impregnated with the son of Our Lord oh
dear I'm so very afraid
how should my brain process this
information that I just received
hey we shouldn't be upset this Christmas
we've got Stanny of course Stanley can
do anything if he can build a Manger he
can stop that meal mountain lion
isn't it always the case when out of
niceness you want to help someone random
but end up getting used like a Chinese
kid at the Shoe Factory
Peak the horrid mountain lion lived and
prayed on the weak for the critters to
be saved someone had to stop that
said the little boy in the red poof ball
hat
killing a mountain lion was no easy task
but
and he thought of it fast
come on out
come on Critter killer your days of
slaughtering innocent little animals are
over
thank God they didn't ask Kenny to do
this
in a flash it was over a Victorious blow
the mountain lion in this Lane on the
cold ground below
let me guess the lion mama had
offsprings
[Music]
wake up Mommy wake up don't leave us
Mommy
man boy why why did you kill her mommy
why
I
the critters there
both of the savior
the tiny cops all gathered together and
cried all alone in the world because
their mother had died
thank you
don't help strangers kids
[Music]
lady porcupine oh yes just felt a little
cake is all well it's been much too long
now I'm afraid our helpful friend
standing must be very dead standing
you're alive but does that mean you
killed the mountain lion
it's dead
for real and for True oh you're here I'm
sure it won't be hurting you anymore
he did it
what happened
give me the damn punchline I know that
nothing good will happen I'm pretty much
sure
[Music]
wait what what are you doing that's a
huge flavor steady without the mountain
lying around like porcupine can give
birth to the Antichrist
you see kids if you help strangers
you're contributing to The Rebirth of
Satan
[Applause]
yeah to the son of Our Lord Satan Prince
of Darkness
well think about it you really think God
would have sex with a porcupine
[Laughter]
I think some of them wouldn't miss on
this opportunity
[Music]
wait no no no no no no
would you believe me if I told you I
don't want to see a rabbit getting
sacrificed
blood orgy
[Music]
Jesus Christ
[Laughter]
the little Forest Critters prepared for
the Antichrist to be born
Noble yes I thought that the punchline
was going to be very very perverted but
I never thought to myself that I'm gonna
witness a blood orgy of Woodland
Critters
oh
mountain lion had stopped evil in all
the years past but now the good
protector laid dead as the good elves
amassed
and meanwhile three lion cubs were
crying away for them they'd certainly be
no Christmas Day
and soon the forest would suffer from
The Offspring this is so wrong
now that he'd killed the noble lion
queen there was nobody to stop the
apocalypse it seemed
I know he said with a new Happy grin
I'll go back to the forest and speak
with those Critters again the big
contrast between the narrator's joyful
voice and Stan that's like
ah [ __ ] how do I fix this [ __ ]
no no no no no
he ran out the living room turned off
the light and went back to the forest to
set everything right
I would also not give a damn honestly
think right
[Music]
by watching TV but his conscious caught
up with him into the force he did flee
[Laughter]
thought he could hide from his problems
not true he knew in his heart the thing
he had to do leave me alone I knew that
only by going to the forest
what an [ __ ] narrator Jesus Christ
yeah we've got a big problem the great
Satan has commanded that when the
Antichrist is born we must find a human
host body to transfer it into that way
could take over the whole world the
whole world the human must be knocked up
and hedonistic against Christ
be perfect
[Music]
something tells me that it's gonna be
the Jewish boy fulfilling this Duty
oh dear maybe we won't have a Critter
Christmas after all now don't be down
y'all Stanley can help us find a
non-baptized heathen human
no I'm not doing you any more favors and
I'm not letting you give birth to the
Antichrist I came here to put a stop to
all this to stop us but gee whiz Dan if
you tried to stop us we'd have to use
our evil satanic powers on you
hey at least they warned him
really a two-headed Cerberus
or is a server is always three-headed
are there some people who are good in
mythology that could help me with that
one
or satanic power sir did the tricks get
stronger every day
sorry Stanley but you see nothing can
stop the birth of the Antichrist except
for a mountain lion and you got rid of
her yeah
the boy shook with anger he broke a
sweat and fell ill when he remembered
there were three mountain lion cubs
still alive on the hill
oh yeah
you know apart from them being satanic
and whatever
they still had dignity by letting Sten
know by letting Sten go they weren't him
but on the other hand having a blood
orgy is also not the most Christian
thing ever
[Music]
hello
anybody in there
oh no it's the man boy who killed Mommy
he's come to kill us now it's okay I
died inside when Mommy was killed
anyways
yeah better this than the slow death
we'd face without a mother around what
I'm sorry I killed your mom the squirrel
sorry guys my bad
I'm trying to make this all right again
but the only thing that can stop devil
worshiping Critters is a mountain lion
yeah and you killed her
geez stop being an [ __ ]
well you're mountain lions us no we're
just kids we still have our baby teeth
they're baby claws and a dead mom
[Music]
why does the dead mom always get me
work but we don't know how to give
abortions do you know some place we can
learn mister
what's happening
where can they look abortion with a
frown I know the abortion clinic just
outside of town what so we picked up the
Cubs and down the mountain he stormed
and took them to where abortions are
performed no he didn't yes he did no he
didn't yes he did no he didn't yes he
did
oh hell no
I've seen a woman give birth now you're
gonna make me watch a woman's feet as
being aborted right
are you pleased with yourself
damn it said the boy in the red poofball
hat we've made it already
that
excuse me what are you doing here the
abortion doctor inquired if you want to
be in the or a pass is required I don't
know I'm supposed to show these mountain
lions how abortions are performed or
something I I know it's ridiculous well
you're in luck I'm happy to inform it's
only three days until Christmas so I
have lots of abortions to perform gather
around my table cute little
are they old treating abortions in South
Park like it's some kind of flu or
something
look how happy the lady is Lions I'll
teach you to do abortions without even
trying and so the little boy and the
Cubs gathered around the chair base and
all day watched abortion after abortion
take place
[Music]
no no
big or small oh
all it's once a year
to eat Christmas time
happens once a year it's once a year at
Christmas time
they're all happy like it's a massage or
something
can we hear about how Christmas only
comes once a year better have a point
dude really better have a point
[Music]
wow look that little filler is all alone
no
foreign
what the hell how come you're all alone
on Christmas Eve my family doesn't
celebrate Christmas
well because we don't really believe in
Jesus
but does that mean you aren't baptized
no I'm Jewish
[Laughter]
[Applause]
it was the night before Christmas and
above the woods way up high a new bright
shiny star hung in the sky for the world
to be saved there was only one shot a
little boy with three cups and an
abortion plot okay
this way you mountain lion's ready to
stop the Antichrist from being born sure
we know how to give abortions now he
arrived at the Critter Forest ready to
fight but then gasped when he saw I
refuse to believe in the fact that this
is now going to be sedimented in my
memory
duh a most Dreadful sight
God we did it what's that bring in a
thousand years of Darkness to the forest
Antichrist is born bringing a thousand
years of Darkness to the forest
it looks like the half ostrich half-man
creature from douche and turd honestly
does the Antichrist had been born
sealing the world's fate the boy in the
red poof fall hat was too late
too late
what the hell is going on it's Critter
Christmas dude it sucks ass
all we got to do is put the Antichrist
into our human host
it's it ten thousand years of darkness
and I don't even have a Merry Christmas
the sound of sleigh bells were heard I
think that's not the main priority now
Stan
to the Earth like a bird right look it's
Santa Claus
let's eat his Flash
[Laughter]
oh Santa please why is there a red star
glowing in the sky finally did it Santa
we brought forth the Antichrist with
help from our good friend stany death
and pain await all living things little
boy you should be ashamed but I didn't
mean to help him I tried to stop them
well good going stupid
[Laughter]
stop devil worshiping Critters
shotgun
[Music]
laughs
come on dude
gee we're Santa you're not gonna kill me
are you wait how are the Cubs going to
perform an abortion if the baby is
already there
I have so many questions and not so many
answers
no no I want to have the Antichrist
inside me what Kyle with his power I can
finally make the earth a better place
for the Jews don't do it
what
it just took a snap like that
that easy for Kyle
[Music]
yes yes now the Jews shall take control
of Christmas once and for all
oh stop it Carmen just stop it
nonsense of your stupid story
of course
and I was thinking to myself what Maniac
brain is able to devise such a bloody
World of terror and Gore
Cartman's
obviously
the answer is right there I don't
believe anyone interrupted you when you
read your Christmas Story loud cat
that's
you do something please sorry Eric but
if Kyle feels discriminated against
you'll have to stop mother
all right forget it
a little bit but what happened yeah did
Kyle bring a thousand years of Darkness
or not what happens to the lion You
Gotta Give it to Cartman he is a hell of
an Entertainer even if he's the most
malevolent [ __ ] he's still an
Entertainer
well after all that I at least want to
know if I had a Merry Christmas Darkness
rules the Earth
what happens I
Applause so the
that's not at all what happens oh come
on let the end yeah yeah come on
I kinda also feel unfulfilled from not
hearing the end of the story
oh dear my best friend is possessed how
about that said the little boy in the
red poof ball hat
and soul is on fire oh I don't like this
I didn't know I would feel so
[ __ ] well what did you expect dude is
the son of the devil [ __ ]
oh God sorry but it's too late Kyle
Santa's gonna have to kill you
I think Kyle's gonna have a very very
stupid death
Richard will consume his soul the little
boy fretted he almost started to ball
that's when he came up with the best
idea of
Kyle is going to be the one to get the
abortion right
oh the lion cubs the little boy quickly
begun I took them to see how abortions
are done
what no Cubs no no no no no no no no no
no no no no no no no no no
and in the twinklings
remembered all they had learned and
[Music]
this is
foreign
yeah yeah there is
now Cartman does know some storytelling
Mommy
[Music]
and back home there were presents and
lots of food to get fat and it was the
best Christmas ever for the boy in the
red poof ball hat
the best ending ever Kyle gets an
abortion the lion queen gets resurrected
what could be better
and they all lived happily ever after
except for Kyle who died of AIDS two
weeks later
[Music]
that was quite an experience
now this is the Golden Rule of South
Park if you have a nice build up and you
think that oh this is so cute
and you're gonna get the most malevolent
vicious and bloody punchline
in human history
and that was it for today thank you for
recommending this cute episode if you
have more recommendations like this go
in the comments below uh also like
subscribe the usual stuff
and I'll see you next time
and now I'm gonna go and have a blood
Orchard