warning this video is intended for a
mature audience you understand viewer
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[Music]
yay all right this is Billy Bob tanley
here people and this is a request from
Simon Hartford and it was uploaded by
I'm seeing a massacre and name this
video is theja Vu NES angry video game
nerd [ __ ] yeah let's check it out
yay all
right black and white I see a Nintendo
controller though though the Angry Video
Game Nerd and stuff they sh Vu what is
that never heard of
it why is your world black and white
when I came to my head was throbbing and
my mouth tasted of stale booze and
ashtrays was foged over and my memory
was as blank as a Commodore 64 load
screen somebody had put me under I had a
feeling they had taken more than just my
memories is this based off a movie The
Hat on the floor matched my trench coat
but gave no
answers I couldn't recognize the face in
the mirror nor could I episodes again I
seem to be in some kind of video game
Library were ROM [ __ ] stains a roll of
toilet paper and drink and G cartrid
that was incinerated beyond recognition
there was a pistol which I identified as
a Nintendo zapper it had been fired I'm
confused warm touch could have only come
from the coldest of Hearts I thought I
could smell the faint scent of perfume
from a Dame or perhaps it was some kind
of nostalgic Allure to something else
what all I knew was it smelled of
trouble your room is all [ __ ] that did a
number on me it was a game change it
back to normal man I the original I
didn't recall ever playing Roger Rabbit
before it looked pretty swell I gave it
a try and then something dawned on me I
wasn't playing the game the game was
playing me the
control as a fish and a bucket of grease
and my optimism went out the window
faster than a bullet through a bag of
piss so I tried other games that to my
memory I had never played before is this
an alternate version of the Ang video
The Last Ninja Goonies 2 cuz
designed to seduce you to lure you in
only to break your heart was it possible
people could have remembered playing
these games as kids thinking they were
great only to find that their memory
wasn't fully intact I think that's go
for a good game in this the time it was
r as
finding dumpster I tell you this game
library was a plastic Jungle full of
electronic predators and I was the prey
the shelves Rose like buildings with
colorful labels hiding the
S come on somebody ought to talk about
these games I thought if only there was
some kind of obsessed nerd who your room
make it back to where it was and then it
hit me like a lead pipe who was I why
was I wearing this get up did it offer
any clue to the game I was playing no
that would be
silly Batman to play Batman games who
does that but it seemed all too familiar
like I was having deja vu
wait I don't I investigated the and
realized something was missing under D
and it all came back to me you have them
have them all in alphabetical order
earlier that day I
was nes it was a crime solving game that
made me feel so much like a
detective sitting in my own private dick
off detective work and stuff sced across
my desk were the pages of Nintendo Power
too long to get to the point man in a
flashback say it piqued my interest I
always remembered that image of the guy
holding the photo of himself holding the
photo it begged the question how did he
take that photo the title was memorable
too as a kid it was my first time ever
hearing the term Deja Vu I didn't know
what it meant I assumed maybe it was
some form of kung I never heard must be
an action game I thought until I
realized it was a point and click
adventure that's [ __ ] boring but here
again as an adult I was back on the case
he smoking and [ __ ] Aja Vu was first on
the Macintosh computer in 1985 back when
controlling a running out of deal
appropriately enough it was in black and
white like the 1940s detective films it
was inspired by Falcon Indemnity the Big
Sleep original
science 64 IGA and so on it was created
by Icom simulations who also made
Uninvited and shadowgate using the same
engine and interface together they're
known as the Mac V this just been on PC
like McDonald McDonald has the
distinction of being the only NES game
to truly capture the spirit of those
classic noir films there were other
detective games only Deja Vu had that
could play this game for even though the
blood was toned down if you compare it
with the other computer versions it was
much more computer only with these
usually come across on the NES as we'll
soon see it's also the only NES game I
can think of where you watch
literally the first screen is in a
bathroom of a bar boy that's one hell of
a way to kick things off your character
has no recollection of how he got there
or who he is then you find a dead body
and realize you've been framed for
murder so the goal is to find out what
happened and who's behind it all and a
clever thing here is that you're not
just trying to obtain evidence you also
have to get rid of evidence that would
implicate you I have to give credit
where credit is due the text is very
amusing it's a man jum up and down life
yeah you think even simple things like
if I examine the sink it tells me it
appears to be a sink it is a sink thanks
or better yet if you open the toilet lid
it says you are relieved that you find
nothing
inside okay that is funny and one of my
favorites if you examine the fire escape
it tells you it's a fire escape when
there's a fire you use it to escape
needs to be a fire or something my chest
heaved with a feeling more rare than a
$3 bill in this town a feeling called
laughter on the bar you find a shot
glass which they call Seltzer but when
your character Downs it he reacts as if
it's really harsh stuff so clearly your
typical angry video game epode I know
took a good but I actually prefer them
over the gimmicked ones but he lies
change I'm not allow to have an opinion
yeah I'm pretend money I mean the only
way so the game encourages you to gamble
the music is great it has that Jazzy
mysterious Vibe yeah you're in a casino
there is nobody
[Music]
around but the part that's ass the
controls of course this is not a
computer and you have to move the
pointer instead of a mouse kind of Doom
from the start it takes way too long to
do simple this is something personally
into you have to select open then you
drag the pointer to the door click it
now it's open and then you have to
select move drag the pointer over and
then click the door again so basically
the simple Act of going through a door
is four actions not to mention
navigation is confusing yeah this is
definitely confus help you out which you
can alternatively click on to move
yourself around I mean I mean I would
explain how this works but I really have
no [ __ ] idea the vage can confus if
you try moving it says
something is move to move something or
is it to move myself leave doesn't mean
leave means to leave something like
leave a [ __ ] because who actually takes
a [ __ ] but about everybody has to take a
[ __ ] if I see medicine on the counter
does take the medicine mean to take it
into my inventory or to take the
medicine to consume it actually if you
want to eat or use anything on yourself
you're supposed to take the item first
like gum for instance and then select
use and then select self wait wait hang
on that's gum right not gun god I don't
even know okay okay that would be a big
mistake if I selected gun instead of gum
that would be a bad move a BM a real
shitty move but hey let's see what
happens oh my God good job that's a
great way to go out with a bang so much
for your dreams and
aspirations am
R Ace Harding well that's one way to
find out your identity from the
beginning the odds were against you it
was only a matter of time until you
reach the end your history man whoever
made this guy need be better than You
and Your Friends Are Dead
who prison away your whole life was a
fail so I got to an elev fig mov
eventually I found out I had to hit the
buttons the same action you use to punch
people imagine going into an elevator
and punching the ever loving [ __ ] out of
it next thing he goes into a wine Celler
and to open a secret door he has to
punch the [ __ ] wine who goes around
punching wine bottles dumb [ __ ] it
won't open gosh how am I going to get
this [ __ ] door to open I don't
know and that's how it
works wow yeah I guess that's how it
works I would recommend you try in alley
and she say
is that a good thing or a bad thing
can't take the chance so really is this
what I'm supposed to
do Sako she's out like a light and her
purse drops to the ground you punch I
couldn't believe my eyes was this some
kind of rude joke it looks like you hit
her pretty hard she's out cold what's
wrong with you and then you take her
money of all the dirty crooked things
you could do in
this one Takes the Cake next thing you
walk into
all wow you buy a gun using gambling
money could you imagine kids playing
this mean not to mention the gun is only
$20
$20 but anyway the thing that sucks here
is that you have to buy each bullet
individually you think they could have
come up with a less tedious way to do
this if you walked into a store wouldn't
you buy all your items as one
transaction who the [ __ ] does it this
way then you still have to load the gun
and by the game's terminology that means
using the bullet on behind so you select
use then page through the inventory find
the bullet I could figure this out page
all the way back want but I'm not going
to get it and there you go you've loaded
one bullet you're probably asking oh
wait wait now did you really have to do
that six times you better believe it
burn this game to the ground six times I
think that's the main problem with this
game everything takes too long a Mugger
with a gun approached me my first
thought was to try and shoot him but you
have to go through the usual hoops and
hurdles to select the gun use it on the
guy but oops he shoots you
first you expect he thought he was just
going to stand there and wait it reminds
me of that new Star Wars Special ultra
Edition the one where Han is too slow
it is did I see it yes I bet you
have oh yeah
you this is probably how it
happened who would you like to use your
on no what the [ __ ] you were a bit slow
on the trigger he shot you
first so clearly using the gun on the
mugger ain't a good idea so what's the
real solution take a guess yes what
punch him of course this guy is like the
master of the Fist all you do is go
around punching people a house and the
butler doesn't let you in you just punch
them in the [ __ ] face punching is
always the man point you start punching
people just for fun to see whatever
hilarious text comes up and just when
you thought you could punch your way out
of every problem the game pulls cheap
shots like this I fell into a
construction hit how did that happen the
game just decided hey you know what
you're dead and then there's a random
alligator in the sewer well this time I
tried the gun and it worked in fact the
computer versions show blood which makes
the animal cruelty feel so much more
shameful I thinking going into the
sewers everybody knows there's
alligators down there there's many times
when you have to ride a cad it's the
only way to reach certain spots where
you have to find items and clues before
returning to where you were were but
here's the problem if you don't have
money for a round trip and you forget to
check ahead of time you could get
stranded at least imagine my dismay when
I rode the cab paid the driver explored
the property and then realized I didn't
have the money to get back my first
instinct was to try punching the driver
but for once it didn't work because of
the glass using my gun didn't help
either because the glass is bulletproof
and I got sent to jail I tried running
from the cab but he called cop again I
was sent to jail it seemed I desperately
needed to find some money but I was
stranded at a location where there was
no money to be found going back to the
trapped like a rat my world narrowed
down like when your world ever going go
back to normal how was I to get out of
this mess would I have to reset the game
after all that work I put in so I began
retrying the same [ __ ] I rode the
cab I ran I ran and then all Hope Came
flooding back in an instant like a
rainfall in Death Valley the driver cut
me a break he said I could pay him back
later I don't know what was different
this time I was compl there is only one
Casino in town and that was the only
place to get money aside from stealing
it out of wallets the game forces you to
gamble it's an absolute necessity in
this crooked worlding you I wasn't
messing around I was determined to turn
this casino into my personal ATM and
just when I started winning I began to
lose lose lose that's how they get you
until I was at [ __ ] zero luckily
there spare coin laying around to get
you started again so after much time
passed I finally hit big with a triple
7even and got 30 coins seven beaten ODS
I had earned my piece of Victory so I
set out again to pay back the cab driver
and continue with the case but then a
Mugger you really having this seen
before a bigger brute tough and
so I decid to punch him what else but he
socked me laid me out and next thing I
was waking up with a full headache and
empty Pockets over all my money was
taken everything I had worked for was
pulled Like a Rock from under me what a
rod and move I had never seen a game do
something so wretched and cruel have you
ever played a game where you had to
collect items or powerups for what
seemed like hours well farming items is
one thing but imagine if out of nowhere
the game throws a monkey wrench at you
and says hey you know what it's all gone
[ __ ] this game [ __ ] it [ __ ] it [ __ ] it
to [ __ ] hell I was ready to throw the
goddamn thing out the window instead I
just took another Swig of the hard stuff
and soldiered on you should have got mad
the moment you start playing
this
okay man stop smoking that [ __ ]
back to the casino back to square one
many losses and few wins later I finally
had what I would consider enough money
so after that whole debacle I rode
another cab and found my way to a
doctor's office where I waited a whole
shelf of drugs this is unlike any other
you might find a pill or a first aid kit
something like that here it's an entire
medicine cabinet and it tells you the
names of the specific drugs the idea is
to inest them to restore your memory and
reveal more parts of the story so these
actually rest your where remembers who
he is can you think of any other game
where the whole mission culminates in
swallowing a bunch of unprescribed
medications not to mention have to do it
is by selecting the drugs then putting
them into capsules and then using the
capsules on yourself why does everything
have to be so complicated
anyway family friendly wholesome
entertainment this game
kids you have drugs alcohol murder
punching Street stealing wallet gambling
buying guns with gambling money and if
that's not enough it adds body shaming
to the mix a large woman in a trunk is
referred to as a tub of lard and it's
not a character calling her that the
game's
narration oh man as I got closer to
wrapping up this case I couldn't help
but dwell on how complicated the items
are if you examined a diary you may have
assumed that you had read it but then
you realize all you had done was look at
the cover to read it you have to open it
it's like game logic trying to apply to
real logic while you're trying to think
of it as a [ __ ] video game at one
point I stole somebody's mail yeah stole
their [ __ ] mail right out of the
goddamn mail box of course you can't
just examine the envelope you have to
take the envelope then open it then take
the letter inside and then you still
have to examine the letter this it you
taken already sometimes have more items
inside them like a wallet you can't use
the card that's in your wallet unless
you open the wallet take the card and
then use the card it's as if the game
doesn't consider you have that card
unless it's out of your wallet that's
like saying if you go into a store and
you have a credit card with you you
don't really have that credit card
because it's inside your wallet I mean
maybe they
this just a little you burn it as your
inventory grows it becomes even more
tedious to that body needs to be put
away some look at this look at how long
this takes how is he holding all this
[ __ ] anyway this detective is walking
around trying to be inconspicuous but
his trench coat is packed to [ __ ] with
everything but the kitchen sink he
strolls into
a creepy as [ __ ] he opens her drawer and
just starts taking [ __ ] I mean this guy
is more Curious than a cat hm pen
glasses why does he have to take
everything he sees tiue idiot really now
a tissue what do I need that for the
text says you know how to use them don't
you you just put one to your nose and
blow well thanks this guy is the
ultimate hoarder he has so much random
[ __ ] but you want to make sure to take
everything because you don't know what
you're going to
need yeah trust me if you forget
something and have to go back that's the
worst it turns out this one of the worst
games I've ever seen that much in fact
before the game's over you have to get
rid of all that incriminating
evidence SP all that time getting that
stuff just to throw it away and of all
the ways you'd think to dispose of it
you have to use a storm drain yeah all
the guns the ammo case everything goes
down that [ __ ] storm drain you're
throwing away yarn condoms LJ and
rolling rockers a sailboat and then the
clown from It comes up wow so now that
you have the correct inventory you head
to the police station as long as you
have the proper evidence the text
explains how there was a trial and the
real murderers were brought to Justice
You're congratulated for a job well done
and then you get a cool epilog with a
nice graphic showing your character a
for the first time it's quite a
satisfying far better
than I started to feel woozy like the
world was spinning was it the this game
would definitely make me feel like that
I realiz it was the feeling of blind
Nostalgia even though the game had
shitty aspects it had some redeeming
traits and was the whole time I couldn't
help but fall under good old NES
spell I stumbled back into my nerd Lair
as my senses began to fail me my brain
shrouded in that same childhood fog what
the fu I grabbed my zapper I took aim
remembering all the heartaches the game
had brought me I could hear it telling
me how it had no Choice it did what it
needed to do I could have given this
baby a fair judgment I could have said
hey it wasn't that bad but since this is
a nerd episode somebody had to take the
fall and it wasn't going to
me shoot it so long
sweetheart yeah so that's how it all
went down and as I sit now amongst all
my games I know the next case is just
around the corner the ner is always on
the hunt for the next item don't be
another detective game made
of
okay yeah look at all those games man
he's got a collection and I guess that's
it so there you go everyone if y'all
want to watch the original video the
link is in the description go check it
out and [ __ ] I'm getting the [ __ ] out
here so yeah my name is Billy Bob tamley
and I appr it message