it's t minus two days until the biggest
moment in
all of our lives it's a day so big that
it dwarfs the birth of christ
i'm talking about the release of
cyberpunk 2077
the second cyberpunk hits the shelves a
collective
peace will befall all of earth the
coronavirus will be cured
atlantis will rise from the sea floor so
that the atlanteans may join us in
holding hands in unity
as we all collectively suckle the divine
bosom of cd project red
and as we accept the sweet warm nectar
from the sublime nipples of the game
developers we'll
smile as we look up to the sky and move
towards a brighter future and forget the
troubles of our past
thank you cyberpunk 2077.
so this game's [ __ ] huge and i've
been asked a lot about my opinion on
cyberpunk am i excited
of course i'm excited for the game i
think it looks like it's going to be a
good game
but i'm not worshiping it like a lot of
twitter and reddit seems to do before
the game even comes out it's achieved
this god-like status where anything less
than a life-changing experience is going
to disappoint a lot of people
i think that [ __ ] sucks because
that's a lot of unnecessary expectations
to place on a [ __ ] video game
playing cyberpunk isn't going to repair
your relationship with your significant
other
it's not going to bring your deceased
pets back to life it's just a video game
and i think it's important to keep that
in mind
i know with the delays a lot of people
been frustrated like the most recent
delay
people were melting down on twitter
about it there were people just [ __ ]
scrambling to smash their keyboard like
they were just going
full [ __ ] caveman neanderthal mode on
it because they were so angry because
they
saying things like they took a month off
of work in preparation for the game so
they could mentally prepare themselves
and dedicate as much time as possible to
investing themselves into the cyberpunk
universe
like that's [ __ ] sad being excited
for a game is great but being obsessed
with it when it's not even out and
risking your career to take so much time
off just to play a game and then getting
this mad when it gets pushed a month
later that's not healthy
that's excessive now obviously i'm
excited about the game but i'm not
coming in here expecting something that
isn't you know just a video game it's
going to be a good game i'm sure
but it's just going to be a video game
it's not going to completely change
reality as it evolves around us
we're not all of a sudden going to
experience some kind of multiversal
collapse where this game is so good
we start bonding with 10 other universes
to get the best of all the universes and
create a utopia
it's just gonna be a video game and i
don't think it's even gonna be like the
craziest video game ever like i know
there's penis physics and stuff and you
can customize your dick
which is awesome i think that is
fantastic but it's only gonna be a
gimmick i don't think
penis-flopping mechanics are gonna be
integral to the cyberpunk experience
i'd love to be proven wrong i'd love to
come in day one on cyberpunk
spend two and a half three hours in the
character creator finally crafting and
sculpting my
in-game wiener so that it resembles my
real-world
meat making sure every single vein is in
the exact right position
and of course the length being to
real-world specifications maybe
fabricate and embellish the girth on the
in-game penis a bit more
but i'd love if i do all that and it
actually does play a role in the story
where all of a sudden let's say i'm at
the dinner table and i've got a random
boner
i'm there with the kingpin and all of a
sudden i pop the semi-chubb we're having
a conversation conversation ends
and he asks me to excuse myself from the
dinner table but i can't
because my character has now popped an
erection so that changes the dialogue
and thus the story as a result
he asked me again charles why aren't you
getting up from the dinner table well
now i have these dialogue options you
have this spontaneous erection
you need to come up with an excuse
choose from this dialogue tree and the
game evolves around that i think that'd
be incredible
but i highly doubt that's going to be
the case it is at the end of the day
probably just going to be more of what
we've seen before from video games just
very good writing a very good universe
it's going to look great
i think the gameplay is going to be fun
but i don't think it's going to live up
to these
absolutely absurd expectations people
are putting on this game an entire cult
is developing around just the worship of
this game pre-release it's crazy to me i
don't really understand
why now cd projekt red has a great track
record granted i'm not a huge witcher
fan but i understand the love of the
series and i'm glad that people loved
the company so much because they really
do seem to care
i think that's great but i think it's
time we stop acting like they're a
celestial game studio that's the
salvation of gamers that can do no wrong
they have just the same problems that
other studios have
too like crunch for example some
employees said they've been in crunch
mode for like a [ __ ] year working
six days a week day and night and they
promised no crunch in the first place
but they've been crunching for an
extended period of time but for some
reason
i see a lot of people defending that
[ __ ] saying things like they're probably
doing it because they love it they're
probably honored to be working on
cyberpunk every waking moment of their
lives
i wish i could spend every single second
of my life dedicated to working on this
game it's gonna be that good
so what if they're not getting the
proper pay for the work hours they're
putting in they get to work on cyberpunk
and just brushing it off like it's not a
big deal whereas when it's another
studio like ea
they're all over that [ __ ] and there's
outrage there's calls to burn down the
ea
offices in cases like that but when it's
cd project thread crunching
well they give it a pass because they
like the games they've made so far
i'm sure the employees hate crunchet cd
project red the same way they'd hate it
if they were at ea it's bad crunch is a
bad thing
just because the studio makes good games
doesn't all of a sudden mean the crunch
is ethical
it's still the result of poor management
yes the games are good though
but there's no benefit there's nothing
to gain
from putting absolutely unreachable
expectations and responsibility on a
video game
there's people acting like if this game
flops their live is over like
everything in their life is coming to a
screeching halt that this game happens
to not be good
and by not good i mean not reaching
their expectations for it at the
unreachable level they've already put
them at
i just don't really get it and i don't
think there's any reason to commit so
hard to loving something you haven't
even played yet and have only seen very
little from
i don't think that's it should be
encouraged i know online being a
professional fan of things like a k-pop
stand or a stan of a
youtuber or whatever is considered cool
and trendy and it's encouraged by a lot
of people
but as i've always said i think that
kind of [ __ ] is terrible i don't know
why all of a sudden it's considered cool
to be a mindless zombie that just
parrots opinions to fit in
i think you should definitely wait to
play the games before
giving them this status of game of the
year forever the perpetual perfect game
i think that kind of [ __ ] needs to wait
till it's actually in your hands and
you've played it and can form an opinion
on it
but that's just my takeaway i'm excited
for it i think it'll be good
but i think it's going to disappoint an
incredible amount of people no matter
how
good the game is because it's achieved
like half-life three levels of hype
and that's a hard demand to reach i'd
say it's actually achieved more than
half-life three levels of hype this is
like up there with the bible two
like this [ __ ] is crazy with the amount
of like responsibility that's being put
on this game
to improve the players lives in the real
world
it's nuts to me but i do think the game
will be good and i am looking forward to
giving it a try
and yeah that's about it see ya