in this video we're going to talk about
four painful things that
god often uses to prepare you to
meet the one i also wanted to quickly
let you know
that open enrollment for agw university
just started today
in addition to the four relationship
training courses i have offered in the
past
i am also releasing a new course called
30 days of sanctifying your sexuality
so if anyone enrolls before the deadline
i'm giving this new course away
as a free bonus this course was designed
for
anyone who's committed pre-marital sex
or
is perhaps struggling right now with
sexual sin
if you're interested in these four
relationship training courses
along with this new bonus course and the
email coaching with me
and a lot more other things i haven't
even mentioned yet feel free to watch to
the end of this video where i'll share
even more information number one to
prepare
you to meet the one god often needs to
dismantle any false ideas about what the
one
actually is nothing will block god's
blessing
quite like an idol one danger when
talking about
the one is that people often see this
person
as an elevated being that will be better
than all
other people but when you have this
idealized version
of your future spouse it will be very
difficult for you to connect with the
real human being
that god does want you to marry one day
i don't believe
it is biblical to say that the one is a
soul mate i get what people mean when
they use the term soulmate so
i don't make a big deal about it but i
personally try to avoid that term
because it implies that each soul has
one
perfect mate and until you meet that one
mate your soul is incomplete
i don't believe that is biblical so when
i use the term
the one i'm simply referring to the
person god wants you to marry
perhaps the best biblical example of my
definition of the one can be found in
genesis 24
14 when abraham's servant goes to find
isaac a wife he prays to god and then
states
let the young woman to whom i shall say
please let down your jar that i may
drink
and who shall say drink and i will water
your camels
let her be the one whom you have
appointed
for your servant isaac here we have the
term
the one followed by a reference to god's
sovereign appointment of isaac's future
spouse
so to me this term the one points more
to god's sovereignty
rather than to some special quality in
your future spouse
when you believe the one is going to be
your perfect one so to speak
you will actually be delaying meeting
the one because you will be waiting for
this perfect person that doesn't exist
oftentimes god has to painfully tear
down these idols we've created
about the one so he can actually then
introduce us to
the real one he has for us number two
to prepare you to meet the one god often
needs to first
put you through a painful season of
discipline
i find it interesting that the words
discipline
and disciple are spelled so similar
the connotation of a word is that
underlying
feeling or emotional association that a
culture
attaches to a word the denotation of a
word however
is simply its literal meaning regardless
of what emotions that word
often invokes the connotation of
disciple
is very appealing to us it invokes
images of following jesus
spending time with him and following god
alongside
other disciples but the connotation of
the word
discipline is usually not as positive to
us
it invokes feelings of being punished
scolded
or publicly rebuked harshly but when you
study these two words
in the bible their biblical denotations
are actually pretty similar
for example hebrews 12 5-6 quotes
my son do not regard lightly the
discipline of the lord
nor be weary when reproved by him for
the lord disciplines the one he loves
and chastises every son whom he receives
when you study the actual relationship
between jesus and his 12 disciples when
jesus was still on earth
it was pretty common for jesus to spend
time
disciplining them therefore we must
learn to associate god's love with god's
discipline
like a loving father who waits until his
child is mature enough to handle the
inheritance
so too does god often need to discipline
us before blessing us with the things he
wants for us
like a godly marriage number three to
prepare you to meet the one
god will often equip you to identify
this person
by putting you through painful
relationship
experiences with people who are not the
one in the movie called
shadowlands which is about the life of
c.s lewis played by anthony hopkins
after his wife dies lewis says to his
brother
experience that most brutal of teachers
but you learn
my god do you learn even though this was
just a movie quote
it strikes true to me in his book called
the problem of pain
the real c.s lewis said we can ignore
even pleasure
but pain insists upon being attended to
god whispers to us in our pleasures
speaks in our conscience
but shouts in our pains it is his
megaphone to rouse a deaf world
if you have prayed that god would lead
you to the one
sometimes he speeds this process up by
teaching you the hardest lessons
in the fastest possible way which is
often through painful relationship
experiences
while we should avoid unhealthy
relationship experiences whenever we can
we cannot avoid painful relationship
experiences
if we hope to mature enough to the point
of actually being equipped
to love another person in the covenant
bond of marriage
love always brings pain at some point
because when you care deeply about
someone
it hurts when they hurt you or pain
comes when you have to see them
suffering in their life it's hard to
love
it's hard to be loved and thus god puts
us through hard experiences
that train us to do the hard work
involved in true love
often times god will put you in
relationships that will not result in
marriage
so that the pain you experience will
mature you to the point of being ready
to actually meet the one he does want
you to marry
years later you will then be able to
look back at those painful trials
and agree with the psalmist who said it
is good for me
that i was afflicted that i might learn
your statutes
and number four to prepare you to meet
the one
god will painfully mature you through
the sins of
others so you are equipped to display
his gospel grace in marriage one day
marriage is a blessing
for many reasons it allows us to
experience deep companionship
sexual pleasure and committed love but
at the heart of a christian marriage
is the gospel grace of jesus christ
in regards to the mystery of marriage
ephesians 5
22-23 explains this mystery
is profound and i am saying that it
refers to christ
and the church however let each one of
you love his wife as himself
and let the wife see that she respects
her husband
jesus's relationship with the church is
messy
it's completely based upon grace and
forgiveness
therefore it should be no surprise that
christian marriages
are messy too your future marriage must
also be based on grace
and forgiveness if you hope to
accurately display the love relationship
between christ
and his church as i described at the
beginning of this video
i created agw university for christian
singles who want
deep biblical training about how to meet
date and marry the person god has for
them
the first course is called heart check
which is where we talk
about the internal healing and
preparation needed
to honor the lord in relationships the
next course is called marriage material
which will give you the biblical
ingredients needed
for identifying a godly spouse and it
will help you know
what to develop in yourself so you can
have a successful relationship one day
the third course is called 10 steps to
meet the one which is where i get super
practical with you
and give you a simple blueprint to
follow so you can give yourself the best
chance of meeting someone
last year i also created a course called
the effective online christian dating
plan
which is a really helpful free bonus
class i offer for anyone who enrolls
and this course is really helpful for
those of you who might be considering
trying online dating after working with
over 900 students in the last two years
it became clear to me that i needed to
create a course about
sanctifying your sexuality i created
this new
course called 30 days of sanctifying
your sexuality
for any christian single person who has
committed premarital sex in their
past or is currently struggling with any
kind of sexual sin right now
like lusting after pornography or
masturbation
this course also will give you biblical
teachings
about what to expect sexually in
marriage one day
and how to prepare yourself in
singleness for your future marriage
specifically when it comes to your
sexuality
this course is meant to be taken over 30
consecutive days of your choosing
each day has a video that will walk you
through a biblical lesson about
sanctifying your sexuality
each day also gives you a short prayer
to follow and
three reflection questions all the
content is in writing as well
if you enroll in agw university before
the deadline
of sunday march 7th at 11 59 pm
eastern time you get lifetime access to
all three
of my main relationship training courses
lifetime access to the two
extra bonus courses three months of
private email coaching with me
and access to the private facebook group
which is where you can connect with all
the other agw
university students currently there are
over 620 other students in this group
to check out all the course content
before enrolling
feel free to click the link in the
description of this video to visit
agw university i'll see you there