[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
all right
another glorious day or night in
nashville what a great audience too
we've had great audiences all week for
comparison here's the gut-felt crowd
huh
look at that
all right all right shut up
shut up
knock it off
and here's tonight's audience for jimmy
kimmel
meanwhile here's what you're missing on
colbert by watching gutfeld
come with me
and you'll be
in a world of reconciliation
it's our sole
remedy
except for pure intoxication
[Music]
you know that's not a comedy show that's
sesame street for democrats
[Applause]
his show is becoming so sad i have to
watch old yeller to cheer up
but our show is different
look who we have on tonight emily
compagno
[Music]
boy did she get into the swing of things
in
nashville ah we're right here hi
okay only about five more stops
but i'm locking the door
you know you you don't stop at the hotel
bar when you get off the flight
you just go straight to the hotel and
cat survived another night on the town
we had a heck of a time however getting
her back into the hotel room
[Applause]
thanks for the help guy with the phone
bravest man i've ever seen cat stop
mixing tequila with red bull all right
but i'm also glad that your family made
it to the show i think we have a picture
i knew uh
i knew those new no bail laws would
finally come in handy
and joe mackey is here good to see he
made it
this is him
[Music]
my panel and of course finally there is
tyrus he's here tonight
here he is
here he is enjoying a night on the town
[Music]
not getting the deposit back so
to the news the center for disease
control is added again yesterday these
bozos issued an urgent health advisory
for pregnant people to get the coveted
vaccine it was so urgent they forgot
there's a name for what kind of people
get pregnant
to them it's not pregnant women it's
pregnant people which include men as
well as women and probably some woodland
creatures and a box of frogs
and so we're supposed to believe these
are medical experts right hell
jill biden's more of a doctor than these
asses
how can they completely erase the
biological differences between men and
women
hell i've done that but never
intentionally
i was at a party it was drunk and i
didn't see the adam's apple
because of the height difference
so think about this what if you were a
hardcore feminist who worked decades
fighting for the rights of women you
know like gloria steinem or andrew dice
clay
after you've made all this headway you
find that the word woman is considered
offensive yep now anyone can get
pregnant right crazy lady
we know people get pregnant and not just
women but i hear people over and over
and over again say women get pregnant
but that's excluding people that should
be a part of this conversation
she's talking about pregnant men because
that's a thing
but i'm sorry a guy should never be
confused about whether his cramps or
from labor pains or the chili he ate
uh ma'am please remove your jock strap
before it snaps the gynecologist in the
face
so how did we get this far well it's not
on you or me it's on the cowards the
bureaucrats the experts the media
wasters who are so scared of being
called out on twitter that they happily
throw an entire gender under the bus oh
we better not offend the activist class
so it's not women who can get pregnant
but men too so let's just say people so
if men can't get pregnant what can women
do that they couldn't do in the past few
hundred thousand years right hey ladies
don't forget to get your prostate
checked
after that please turn your head in
cough
the only good i see coming out of this
is that men will finally know the pain
of childbirth and women will finally
know that getting hit in the balls hurts
a lot more
true
thank you
me i can't wait to give birth i just
have to find out where i put the
umbilical cord i think it's in the
drawer where i keep my old cable wires
and phone chargers
but the woke aren't just going after
women they're coming after your ponies
my little pony to be exact
finally some horses they do like
remember those animated jerks that they
have the color of pepto-bismol on the
charm of a head wound according to the
new york times the latest new generation
of the my little pony movie stages a
political awakening about tolerance
prejudices and even fascism you know the
kind of hijinks that kids really love
if your kid wants to be an antifa
apparently the wokaholics are coming
from all sides from the medical
bureaucracy to the entertainment
industry all aimed at turning you into a
mindless docile drone here's a short
clip
hi new friend unicorn
well i think i just killed a million
brain cells
just a million more and i can work at
cnn
watch out cuomo
so in the flick the enlightened heroine
sunny star scout crashes a demonstration
led by a defensive weapons manufacturer
yes because defensive weapons are wrong
unlike offensive weapons which i assume
is joy behar's voice
it was once deemed too cruel for gitmo
anyway the movie hero assembles an
eclectic team of progressive youngsters
to fight misinformation with references
to american politics
worse
worse talk about cultural appropriation
who are playing these ponies people not
ponies
i thought this was 20 20.
so we went to a pissed off my little
pony for comment
i've been in this business
25 years none of the actors voicing
these characters are actual ponies what
the
vanessa hutchins is not a pony ken jong
is not a pony this is auntie equine and
i will sue every one of these
[Music]
[Laughter]
sorry about that uh maybe this show
should have come with a trigger warning
[Music]
yeah trigger warnings remember how big
those were the written warnings to alert
students of problematic material and i'm
not talking about a wool speedo what a
bad purchase
recently colleges have embraced trigger
warnings to keep students safe from
trauma which meant banning harmful
phrases like killing it or take a stab
at it or your expensive degree in
women's studies is useless
but now researchers find that trigger
warnings don't lessen negative reactions
instead they can make it worse for
people with ptsd so will that put an end
to trigger warnings
of course not they'll just issue a
trigger warning for a trigger warning
and then there will be a trigger warning
for a trigger warning for a trigger
warning which makes sense for one thing
everyone should get a trigger warning
before they see this
my eyes
[Applause]
welcome tonight's guests
the courts asked her to stop leading
cheers during the death penalty cases
co-hosts of outnumbered emily campagno
he's as relaxing as underwear filled
with ice water comedian joe mackey
her husband believes in good
communication like mouthing the word
help
fox news contributor cat tip
and pickup trucks or is flip-flopped my
massive sidekick and the nwa world
television champion tyrus
so uh joe good to see you good to see
you greg i love the shirts thank you sir
no members only jacket tonight too hot
in this town oh you know it
i expect to see you shirtless by the end
of this show that's that'll happen i
know so when you decide to become
pregnant joe
do you plan to get the vaccine and take
the advice of the cdc
greg
if i could make up how i reproduce why
would i pick pregnancy when there's
binary fission
that's where i can
eat a lot more food till i get so fat
that i split into two comedian joe
mackeys
you actually did research for that so so
you gain weight and then you divide yeah
i uh
too many trips to the catering tray uh
this week greg so
uh uh you know i i think that uh this
story tells us that we're gonna have to
come up with our own animated pony
propaganda at this point because
everything's becoming political even
animated ponies exactly fox news has to
come up with its own my little pony
yes
you could be one of the ponies i would
love to be you're almost there you have
a very pony kind of you know you're like
a little pony
i have to be very careful about what i'm
about to say um
can you like isn't it hard to take
advice
from okay the cdc like how can you take
medical advice from people that deny
biological realities that's the hardest
thing people complain about people being
skeptical about vaccines listen to these
idiots right now they're poisoning their
own messaging there's not enough time in
this show to play a montage of them
going back on what they've said going
back on the science that they deem to
represent so yes i absolutely agree with
you that they've lost their credibility
entirety but can we go back to my little
ponies for a second sure okay so
why not it's your show
exactly so
they ruined what really was the best
thing ever my little pony is the best
thing ever and their tagline was just
love and friendship right what do you
need more than just love and friendship
now i i didn't even i had to i couldn't
memorize this a political awakening
about tolerance prejudice even fascism
yes so once again literally the the
narrative that they're pushing is that
the most dangerous thing in your
neighborhood is the patriot flying the
american flag like never mind the social
media companies eroding your child's
sense of self-worth or the elected
officials that are keeping big tech
companies protected while they mine your
data or like cyber hackers stealing your
finances or china invading us at every
turn none of that stuff matters except
for fascism in the form of ponies right
and the other the most important thing i
learned in that article though is that
the plural of pegasus is pegasi i know i
know i didn't know that
what's up
but then unicorns you know should it be
unikai
potentially i don't know this is a very
strange route you've taken me cat uh
were you a my little pony fan
look greg i could answer that but i'm
not going to why
instead i would like to just have a chat
with you um you know so in your
monologue you called me a booze bag
um as usual you like to show the video
that was an alligator not me by the way
guys
uh made fun of my family and none of
it's true but i have obtained some
actual footage of your actual family
your sister and her husband be in
nashville and they're behaving very
badly with this look at this they are
alone on the dance floor
and they are air drumming ferociously
yes nobody air drums unless they've had
at least 17 beers beforehand okay look
at that oh and the air guitar trees your
brother-in-law's got a whole air band
except the instruments aren't there
right just like no one's on the dance
floor with them look at that that's his
actual family that's real oh and look
look at this vandalism yes
vandalism that is your sister engaging
in vandalism of this very bar so you can
call it whatever you want with your fake
little videos but it looks like you're
the one that hangs out with all the
booze bags and you're from a crime
family
[Applause]
by the way that was actually my family
the their daughter kept sending me these
videos
i don't know if she was it was a cry for
help or she was proud business as usual
yeah all right final word to you tyrus
you got kids lots of kids yeah i'm sure
you have you've stepped on a few my
little ponies
i've stepped on a few kids
[Laughter]
you know i'm i'm a horrible parent i
make my kids watch what i like we watch
looney tunes and the three stooges and
my daughter's working on this move right
now so we really don't have time for my
little
woke pony so we're gonna stick to this
and that and giving your best friend a
dynamite stick and blowing them up
so it's just really as as a parent like
first of all i'm not sure what fascism
is or means so i'm not going to have my
kids do it and those shows are boring
anyways because they take all the humor
out of it so
we have my little ponies and but we also
have jurassic park
and guess what happens to the my little
ponies
they get t-rexed in the middle of
nowhere or a
t-rex person eats the pony so that's
where we're gonna stick with it leave
the kids alone leave the kids alone
all right
that's a message
hey sean hannity here hey click here to
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