this is the onion News Network keeping
you safe from the
[Music]
lies it was on this day 60 years ago
that the hand job was first invented a
research team led by Dr Fred gilgoff
developed the Revolutionary two-person
masturbation technique after months of
experimentation last September in his
final interview before his death Dr
gilgoff recalled the hand job's long
path to success first we thought it
would work if if the woman just held on
to it then we tried having the man
wiggle his body but that that that
didn't work either finally the answer
appeared is rubbing the shaft up and
down like the blue blazes you're so
elegant and simple inventors who
followed in Gil goff's footsteps
continue to sing the Praises of the man
who started it all what can I say about
gilo he's the master if no one had never
invented the hand job there wouldn't be
blow jobs rim jobs or any other jobs
gilgoff may be gone but his hand job
will live on
forever