[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
>> THANK YOU.
YOU ARE APPRECIATION
UNDERWHELMED ME.
HAPPY THURSDAY EVERYONE.
TODAY IS HALLOWEEN AND I'M
STARTING TO PANIC.
I NEED THREE MORE GUYS TO FILL
OUT THE OF MY JOY BEHAR COSTUME.
BUT EVERYBODY IS GETTING DRESSED
UP.
JAMES CARVILLE IS GOING AS A
BLIND MOLE RAT.
ELIZABETH WARREN IS GOING AS ONE
OF HER ANCESTORS.
KAMALA HARRIS WILL BE DRESSING
UP AS A HISPANIC BLACK ASIAN
PUERTO RICAN JAMAICAN MUSLIM AND
JEWISH WOMAN.
HILLARY CLINTON GOING AS
MONICA LEWINSKY WITH HOPES TO
GET LAID.
[LAUGHTER]
THEY WILL ALL BE GOING AS
JOURNALISTS.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
NANCY PELOSI IS GOING AS
YOURSELF.
NOTHING SCARIER THAN THAT.
SO WHILE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
ENDORSED KAMALA HARRIS,
LEGENDARY ASTRONAUT BUZZ ALDRIN
AND DOORS TO DONALD TRUMP.
PRETTY SIMILAR STORIES.
ONE LANDED ON THE MOON AND THE
OTHER ONE LANDED ON HIS MADE.
BUT YOU CAN SEE WHY ARNOLD WENT
WITH KAMALA.
SHE SAID SHE WOULD CLEAN A HOUSE
IF ELECTED INTO HE CAN'T RESIST
A LADY HOLDING A MOP.
LAST NIGHT RIOTERS DESCENDED ON
LOS ANGELES AFTER THE DODGERS
WON THE WORLD SERIES.
MANY OF THESE WRITERS FIRST
LEARNED THAT THE DODGERS WON THE
WORLD SERIES.
>> THAT IS SUCH A GREAT POINT.
>> IT'S A COINCIDENCE.
L.A. ERECTED WITH LOOTERS IN A
NIKE STORE WITH A MOB BURNING A
BUS.
THINGS ARE SO BAD THE MENENDEZ
BROTHERS ARE DEMANDING TO STAY
IN PRISON.
AND PRESIDENT BIDEN BIT AT BAY
BE DRESSED AS A CHICKEN AT A
WHITE HOUSE HALLOWEEN PARTY.
NOW WHO'S THE CANNIBAL? THE
DOCTORS SAID THAT THEY WERE
DRESSED AS A THERMOMETER.
[LAUGHTER]
SO DISGUSTING.
BUT JUST A JOKE.
SO WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN SOMEBODY
CALLS YOU GARBAGE? OF COURSE IT
MATTERS IF IT'S FROM SOMEONE
WHOSE OPINION I VALUE LIKE YOUR
SPOUSE OR YOUR RELATIVE OR YOUR
CHINESE LAP DANCER I MET IN
CROATIA.
BUT WHAT'S COMING FROM THIS GUY
I MEAN THIS GUY THINKS HE ARE
GARBAGE, THE GUY WHO DID ANY BIG
TECHNOLOGY HAD A GRANDCHILD
BECAUSE SHE CAME FROM THE WRONG
SIDE OF THE TRACKS.
TO HIM SHE WAS GARBAGE.
WHICH KIND OF MAKES HIM GARBAGE.
AND YOU HAVE JOE CALLED THE
TRUMPS SUPPORTERS GARBAGE.
ASKING THE MEDIAONE QUESTION,
HOW DO YOU LIKE MY GARBAGE
TRUCK?
>> HOW DO YOU LIKE MY GARBAGE
TRUCK? THIS IS IN HONOR OF
KAMALA AND JOE BIDEN.
JOE BIDEN SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF
HIMSELF.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS GARBAGE
TRUCK.
>> WE ENJOY YET.
JOE CALLS TRUMP SUPPORTERS
GARBAGE AND TRUMP SHOWS UP FOR A
CAMPAIGN EVENT IN A GARBAGE
TRUCK.
I WONDER WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF
BIDEN HAD CALLED HIM [BLEEP].
[LAUGHTER]
WOULD TRUMP HAVE SHOWN UP IN
THIS? YOU KNOW HE WOULD.
SO WHY DOES THIS MOMENT MATTER?
THE SAME MEETING THAT WENT IN
SAME OVER A COMEDIANS JOKE OVER
A TRASH CRISIS IN A U.S. COUNTRY
NOW CALLS BIDEN HALF HOAX.
>> THE VERY SAME NEWS MEDIA THAT
IGNORED ALL THE TIMES
DONALD TRUMP HAS CALLED AMERICAN
CITIZENS AND AMERICAN VOTERS
SCOTT AND GARBAGE.
ACTUALLY TRIED TO TURN
JOE BIDEN'S USE OF THE WORD
GARBAGE INTO A CONTROVERSIAL
NEWS STORY TODAY.
>> HE LANDED IN GREEN BAY A
SHORT TIME AGO AND PULLED THIS
CAMPAIGN STUNNED, SPEAKING TO
REPORTERS FROM A GARBAGE TRUCK.
PROVE HE AND HIS SUPPORTERS ARE
GIVING NO GRACE TO A GAFFE BY
PRESIDENT BIDEN WHERE HE AND HIS
EXPLANATION INADVERTENTLY CALLED
THE TRUMP SUPPORTERS GARBAGE.
>> YOU SEE THAT, INADVERTENTLY.
LIKE THAT WAS INADVERTENT.
LIKE WHEN I INADVERTENTLY LANDED
ON THE CANDLESTICK.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT SURE THAT GARBAGE LINE COULD
BE MISCONSTRUED BUT DO WE OWE
THEM THAT GRACE AS NORIS
SUGGESTS? NO.
AFTER ALL BIDEN RODE IN ON THE
MOST DIVISIVE LINE EVER.
THE FINE PEOPLE HOAX.
IT'S BEEN DEBUNKED.
WORST IT'S THE TENTPOLE HOAX
THAT ISSUED THE TRUMPS HITLER
NARRATIVE THAT THEY'VE BEEN
PUSHING EVER SINCE.
EVEN WHEN THEY KNEW IT'S FALSELY
KEPT AT IT.
SO FORGIVE ME IF I DON'T GIVE A
[BLEEP] IF BIDEN JUST GOT FINE
PEOPLE HOAX.
WHAT'S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE IS
GOOD FOR THE SLANDER.
WHILE JOE IS BITING BABIES TRUMP
IS CHEWING UP KAMALA CAMPAIGN
LIKE A TODDLER DRESSED UP AS A
BIG MAC.
BUT THERE'S A BIG PROBLEM.
WHETHER CALLED IRREDEEMABLE,
DEPLORABLE OR GARBAGE THAT ROT
IS COMING FROM THE TOP END IS
UNDERMINING THE FABRIC OF THE
SOCIAL CONTRACT.
IT'S NOT TEAM SUPPORT POLITICS
I'VE NO PROBLEM WITH TRIBES,
ALLEGIANCES AND EVEN CULTS.
I HAVE SCIENTOLOGISTS AS
NEIGHBORS AND THEY WERE ABLE TO
INVITE ME OVER FOR A THREE SOME.
[LAUGHTER]
BECAUSE THERE WAS ALWAYS A BED
ROCK PREMISE UNDERNEATH OF IT.
IT'S THE CHEESIEST PHRASE EVER.
LOVE THY NEIGHBOR.
IT'S CORNY BECAUSE WE GET IT
WRONG.
WHEN WE GATE LOVE THY NEIGHBOR
WE THINK OF NED FLANDERS
OFFERING UP TO HOMER BUT LOVE
THY NEIGHBOR DOESN'T MATTER WHEN
THINGS ARE GOOD, ONLY WHEN IT'S
BAD.
AND IF KAMALA WINS YOU BOTH MAY
HAVE TO TRANSGENDER VENEZUELANS
WITH STUDENT LOAN DEBT.
THAT SOCIETAL AGREEMENT IS NO
DIFFERENT THAN THE FIRST OR
SECOND AMENDMENT.
THEY DON'T EXIST FOR HELLO AND
GOODBYE, IT'S FOR BAD WORDS AND
BAD HOMBRES WHICH MEANS NO
MATTER WHO YOU ROOT FOR YOU ARE
STILL NEIGHBORS.
OF YOUR YANKEES FAN AND LIVE
NEXT TO A RED SOX FAN DON'T
SHOOT TOGETHER AT THE GAME.
YOU MAY WANT TO AVOID BOTH OF
THOSE CITIES.
BUT YOU CAN STILL BORROW THE
LEAF BLOWER.
BUT THEN RETURN THE FAVOR BY
LEAVING THE BLINDS OPEN WHEN YOU
UNDRESS.
BUT LOVE THY NEIGHBOR BECAME
ONCE RADICALS MADE THE POLITICAL
PERSONNEL.
IN THE 60s THE LAST MOST
HERALDED VOICES DECLARED EVERY
RELATIONSHIP IS ONE OF POWER
BETWEEN BOSS AND WORKER.
HUSBAND-AND-WIFE, WHITE AND
BLACK.
EVEN ME IN MY POOL BOY.
I KEEP TELLING HIM SOMEDAY I
WILL GET A POOL.
SUDDENLY THE EQUALITY IT
CONNECTION TURNS VERTICAL.
IT'S NO LONGER WE ARE IN THIS
TOGETHER, IT'S NOW WHO'S ON TOP.
THEY CHANGE LOVE THY NEIGHBOR
INTO LOVE LIGHT NEIGHBOR UNLESS
WE DISAGREE.
THAT IS TRANSACTIONAL BUT NOW
YOUR NEIGHBOR WON'T TALK TO YOU
IF YOU VOTE FOR TRUMP.
NOW DO YOU REALLY WANT TO JERK
LIKE THAT IN YOUR LIFE ANYWAY?
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE CALLING THE
COUNTRY GARBAGE GETS YOU.
YOU END UP IN A PLACE WHERE IT
GETS HARDER TO TURN TO LOVING
ONE'S NEIGHBOR WHEN THE MEDIA
CALLS THEM TRASH.
MY ADVICE GET YOUR LAWN TOOLS
BACK BEFORE TUESDAY.
TONIGHT HIS HALLOWEEN COSTUME IS
TOWN CREEK.
JIM NORTON.
SHE IS SPICY AND STRONG AND
PROVES LIBERALS WRONG.
SAGE STEELE!
SHE CARVED A JACK-O'-LANTERN BUT
NOT LEGALLY ALLOWED NEAR KNIVES.
"NEW YORK TIMES" BEST-SELLING
AUTHOR KAT TIMPF.
AND FOR HALLOWEEN THE HULK IS
DRESSING UP AS HIM.
TYRUS!
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
JIM YOU HAVE BEEN CALLED GARBAGE
MOST OF YOUR LIFE.
>> YES, I HAVE.
>> YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF AND
WERE IT LIKE A BADGE OF TRASH.
>> YES, I DO.
>> IT'S A TWO-PART QUESTION BUT
WHAT DID YOU MAKE OF
HINCHCLIFFE'S JOKE, MUCH AT DO
ABOUT NOTHING AND WHAT DID YOU
MAKE OF TRUMPS GARBAGE TRUCK?
>> TONY IS A FRIEND AND I THINK
HE IS VERY FUNNY SO I DON'T
UNDERSTAND THIS DESIRE TO HIGHER
COMICS THAT ARE KNOWN FOR DOING
MATERIAL.
IF YOU HIRE A GUY LIKE TONY
EXPECT TONY TO DO WHAT HE DOES.
IF YOU WANT THE COMIC THAT
DOESN'T MEAN VERY GENTLE HIRE A
GENTLE COMIC.
I BEASLEY HAD NO PROBLEM WITH
IT.
>> HE CAME ON AS A COMIC BUT THE
LIBERAL MEDIA DESCRIBED HIM AS A
SPEAKER.
>> THE WHOLE THING IS A SHELL
GAME.
WE ARE ALL PRETENDING TO BE
UPSET THAT WE ARE BEING INSULTED
AND NOT JUST THEM, IT'S
EVERYONE.
THE WHOLE COUNTRY.
AMERICAS MOTTO SHOULD BE HOW
COULD YOU? IT'S FAKE.
EVERY WANTS AND NOT SEE OR A AND
THOSE ARE MY FRIENDS.
>> IT IS FUNNY THOUGH.
NO ONE KNEW ABOUT THE TRASH
CRISIS IN PUERTO RICO UNTIL HE
MADE THE JOKE.
>> I HAD NO IDEA UNTIL HE SAID
THAT BUT ANYBODY THAT WATCHES
TONY THAT'S THE STUFF TONY DOES.
>> SAGE WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THE
WAY TRUMPS MANAGING TO TAKE
SCREW UPS LIKE BIDEN AND TURN IT
INTO COMEDY GOLD? AND ALSO
KAMALA WITH THE McDONALD STINT
AS WELL.
>> IT'S BRILLIANT.
HONESTLY, TO HIS TEAM.
AND THEN HE WAS SAYING HOW
QUICKLY THIS HAPPENED 30 MINUTES
BEFORE AND SOMEHOW THEY GOT A
TRUCK WITH HIS NAME ON IT AND I
SAID SURE I WILL PUT AN ORANGE
VEST ON.
COULD YOU IMAGINE KAMALA STEAM
BEING A CREATIVE? AND NUMBER 2,
ASK HER TO DO IN WHAT HER ANSWER
WOULD'VE BEEN IF THIS WAS
REVERSED? THAT WOULD NEVER
HAPPEN.
I GIVE HIM CREDIT.
HE'S ALL MOST 80 YEARS OLD AND
HE'S LIKE WHAT THE HELL LET'S DO
IT.
THEY SAID IT AND WE WILL TAKE
ADVANTAGE.
>> KAT SAGE BRINGS UP HIS AGE, I
CAN'T HELP THINK THAT'S MAKING
TRUMP MORE LIKABLE.
AS HE GETS OLDER HE BECOMES MORE
LIKE A MENSCH.
HE SEEMS TO BE HAVING MORE FUN.
>> HE IS HAVING FUN RIGHT NOW
AND I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE,
EVERYBODY WHO SAW HIM PULL UP IN
A GARBAGE TRUCK THOUGHT IN THEIR
HEAD THAT IS GOOD.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
JIM WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS A
MILLION TIMES.
PEOPLE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND, I
WILL BELIEVE YOU IF YOU SAID
YOU'D ONLY CERTAIN POLICIES
ABOUT HIM BUT HE IS FUNNY.
WIN PEOPLE SAY HE'S NOT FUNNY
I'M LIKE YOU'VE TRULY LOST IT.
THAT'S HOW YOU HANDLE ALL YOUR
SUPPORTERS BEING CALLED GARBAGE,
PULLING UP IN A GARBAGE TRUCK.
IS A VERY WEALTHY MAN.
AND HE EVEN SAID SOMEONE
SUGGESTED THIS TO ME.
RIGHT? HE'S IN ON THE JOKE OF
HOW RIDICULOUS IT IS AND THE
FACT THAT THEY CAN'T STATE THE
OBVIOUS WITH BIDEN, WHAT THEY'RE
GOING WITH IS THAT I AM TOO
STUPID TO UNDERSTAND THE NUANCES
OF HIS SPEECH.
NOBODY BELIEVES THAT.
HE WAS STRUGGLING TO GET OUT
WHATEVER SENTENCE BUT YOU'RE
ALSO EXPECTING ME TO BELIEVE
THAT AND YOU EXPECT ME TO
BELIEVE FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE
SPENT ALL WEEK TALKING ABOUT ALL
THESE PEOPLE, A GARBAGE WOULD BE
A BRIDGE TOO FAR.
>> WE MET THE OTHER PART.
>> YOU'RE ASKING PEOPLE ON ONE
SIDE TO ACCEPT THINGS THAT ARE
INSULTS TO THEIR INTELLIGENCE
AND ON THE OTHER SIDE IT'S UP
GARBAGE TALK HAVING A GREAT
TIME.
>> IT'S A BIG WIN TYRUS TRUMP IS
UP IN NORTH CAROLINA GEORGIA
NEVADA AND AS A SLIM LEAD IN
P.A.
HE MIGHT FLIP WISCONSIN AT
MICHIGAN OR SHE MIGHT.
ARE YOU STILL... REMEMBER YOU
SAID IF SHE WINS YOU SHAKE IT
HERE?
>> I'M SORRY DIDN'T MISS
SOMETHING? DID YOU NOT SEE WHAT
I DID TO THE YANKEES LAST NIGHT
I'M TYRUS NOSTRA THOMAS HERE.
THIS [BLEEP] IS NOT CLOSE.
THIS IS NOT THE BEHAVIOR OF A
MAN WHO'S WORRIED ABOUT WINNING
STATES.
THIS IS WHAT I DO WHEN I'M UP 40
STATES.
RING UP THE HOT DOGS AND LET'S
TRUCK IT UP.
THE ONE THING I DO KNOW IS
PRESIDENT TRUMP MIGHT BE OPEN TO
LEGALIZING WEED BECAUSE HE
CLEARLY HAS A COUPLE OF BOROUGHS
ON HIS SQUAD LIKE YOU SHOULD
TOTALLY GET A DUMP TRUCK.
YO.
I KNOW HE DOESN'T SMOKE IT BUT
THE ONES HE'S LISTENING TO
PEOPLE, HE'S A DIFFERENT DUDE
FROM 2016.
2016 TRUMP WAS AGGRESSIVE.
HE'S BEEN THREW THAT AND
DR. BULLETS LITERALLY.
SO HE'S LAID BACK AND WHOEVER
WANTS TO COME TO THE PARTY, COME
ON IN AND ANY IDEAS ARE NOT.
I'VE HAD AN INTERVIEW WITH HIM
TALKING WHAT WE MAY NOT HAVE
TAXES FOR POLICE OFFICERS AND
FIREFIGHTERS AND HE SAID YOU
KNOW WHAT MAY BE WE SHOULD DO
THAT.
MAYBE HE IS SMOKING, I DON'T
KNOW.
BUT THE POINT IS RELAXED, A
COMIC, HAVING FUN AND DO CATS
POINT, LAWRENCE YOU COULDN'T TO
SAY TOUCHE.
THE TRUCK WAS GOOD.
>> THE POT THING IS ONLY FOR
BLACK PEOPLE.
IT'S ONLY FOR THE BLACK VOTERS.
>> WHICH AGAIN HELPS TRUMP SINCE
HE'S HITLER.
THE FACT HE HAS HIGH BROTHERS
MAKING POLICY DECISIONS ON HIS
CAMPAIGN IS A GOOD THING.
>> IF SOMEBODY DOES SOMETHING
FUNNY AND DO YOU REACT LIKE IT
DEWORMER OF ANIMAL HOUSE, WHAT
HAPPENED TO LAWRENCE O'DONNELL,
YOU'VE LOST.
>> HE'S PART OF A JOKE NOW.
>> YES.
ALL RIGHT.
>> GREG I'M STARTING TO GET LEFT
OUT AS THAT GL STEIN GUY.
[LAUGHTER]
>> YOU SHOULD VOTE YOUR PASSION
WHICH IS GL STEIN.
>> IVA GL STEIN SIGN ON MY LAWN
TO DRIVE DEMOCRATS CRAZY.
WHAT IS WITH THIS AUDIENCE?
THEY DON'T LIKE THAT HUMOR.
[LAUGHTER]
BEFORE WE GO A QUICK
ANNOUNCEMENT.
YOU CAN COME SEE ME ON MY
GUTFELD LIVE 2025 TOUR.
LOOK AT THAT PICTURE OF ME.
LOOKS VERY NAZI LIKE.
TICKETS GO ON SALE TOMORROW
MORNING, TOMORROW MORNING AT
10:00 A.M.
I WILL BE IN INDIA