[Music]
amori is one of the best things sonichu
begins with Sonic fighting Perfect Chaos
from Sonic Adventure as a Pikachu walks
by Sonic gets slapped by chaos and hits
Pikachu instead of just killing him
instantly it instead creates a new
Evolution in the Pikachu line known as
sonichu except for when that isn't the
case anymore and sonichu actually come
from the Pokémon known as Soni however
this Collision doesn't only affect one
Pikachu it also sends a magic rainbow
across the world that hits a female
Raichu creating roseu sonichu teams up
with Sonic and defeats chaos easily then
dubbing himself sonichu keep in mind
sonichu and roseu are just the names of
the species and each one has a different
name except for these two as they are
considered sonichu and rosu Prime
obviously sonichu stumbles into the
cottage of Kell ru's trainer and rosu
herself being in a new body sonichu is
starving and whiches to break bread with
these two random strangers through their
night together Sonic and rosu fall in
love with sonichu stating as long as the
bird's tweet you shall be my heart sweet
instead of killing herself rosu kisses
sonichu sonichu takes rosu to the mall
to go shopping when they get lunch
sonichu has a meltdown because his
Burger has pickles on it and he hates
pickles rastu gets a salad because she's
a woman and women only eat salads then
the classic character Nate sends a
[ __ ] Zapdos to kill roseu to which
sonichu excuses himself to savor sonichu
uses double team to confuse Zapdos even
though that's not what that move
actually does there's then a final blow
countdown for when sonichu will blow
Zapdos because he does this Nate has to
leave on REO once the battle is finished
sonichu is congratulated by Christian
Weston Chandelier the mayor of quickfill
and also sonich Chu's trainer and father
even though they just now met sonichu
brings up that despite being jobless
skilless and having no social skills
Chris has no girlfriend and Chris goes
to loer at the mall with even sonichu
noting that he will remain Maiden keep
in mind I will be using Chris's male
pronouns throughout this because
throughout this portion of the comic
Chris goes by male pronouns Chris sits
in the mall until a jerk op arrives to
tell him that he can't loiter all day at
the mall to which Chris responds by
transforming into Chris chanu and
fighting the cruel officer he finishes
him off with his
legendary and while it seems ineffectual
the cop then gets tragic news that his
wife and children are leaving him to
which he exclaims my soul hurts but
Chris points out that he got told to
leave them all so he's the real victim
here later that day ner brings a bunch
of sonichu DNA to Dr Eggman and Giovani
who's also his dad while working with
the DNA dumbass Giovani spills Cherry
Cola on the DNA but uses it anyways
which makes the Clone black because
Chris wanted Shadow the Hedgehog to be a
sonichu they do black sonichu but he
thinks that that name is dumb and
chooses to go by the much cooler named
Blu it is also explained that sonichu is
not blu's dad but brother for some
reason Blu then spends time training and
for you power scalers out there we know
that a special attack is three dots that
day sonichu picks up a very tiny roseu
and heads to her house meanwhile Sonic
is also there and decides to go this way
for no reason while Blu is now in a bush
Blu starts a countdown probably to blow
sonichu but decides to kidnap Ru Instead
at the same time sonichu and Sonic
reunite deciding to save Ru upon seeing
Ru captured and forming a plan to kill
sonichu Eggman does a funny dance we
know it's funny because Chris says it is
sonichu gets captured and Eggman goes to
press the energy sapping button there's
an attempt at writing how Sonic would
normally taunt Eggman that goes nowhere
until Sonic very sonichu free however
Eggman was ready as he unleashes metal
sonichu who loses almost instantly and
never comes back thanks to their efforts
rosu is saved and slaps Blu meanwhile on
the
moon rastu meets Amy and they talk how
Chris assumes women talk but women
talking sucks so he choos to skip most
of it he also skips it because it's time
to focus on him again you see Chris is
loitering once again however this time a
woman actually approaches him to ask him
out but it turns out it was a prank and
Chris gets down on his knees and screams
no which happened in real life and got
him banned sonichu and Chris then head
to a cave together because sonichu found
a cave in an old man guarding it and the
old man elaborated that sonichu is the
prophesized creature and Chris is his
creator the father and the prophesized
master and Chris is able to receive a
special power by entering the cave with
sonichu in the Cav Master it turns out
sonichu is right and that Chris is
actually a Reincarnation of an ancient
Cherokee leader who would one day fuse
Sonic and Pikachu and then receive
powers for himself his crush and also
his rival also an evil will strike the
day the freakest yellow creature enters
the cave Chris puts his Medallion on a
pedestal as the old man chants and I
quote an's elk
orc which teleports Chris to meet with
his past life who grants Chris the power
to transform to a sonichu who looks
exactly like normal Sonic meanwhile Wes
eisy and Sarah Hammer Chris's crush and
rival respectively are also cursed with
Hedgehog powers we then learned that
sonichu doesn't bathe and only uses Z's
body spray which makes roseu want to
orbit his belt reason [ __ ] eny Wes
quickly reaches qu and attempts to kill
him with a fire blast but fails
beginning their fight Chris tells
sonichu to run to which sonichu says you
don't have to tell me twice but during
the Stone Age
Chris explains to West that he was
jealous of how Sarah was dating West
inside of him but that no matter what
all he cares about is Sarah being happy
which is why he drew himself beating up
Sarah's boyfriend in a comic with Sarah
of course thinking Chris's rampant
boundary Crossing [ __ ] is sweet and
Charming despite Chris's efforts isy is
about to kill him when Sarah who was
there the whole time save the day Sarah
then dumps wets and stabs him or some
[ __ ] the three then leave sonichu behind
because he doesn't matter anymore and
they have to kill the evil Mary Lee was
who was a supervisor at Chris's College
who asked him to stop being a creep
therefore she must pay rastu does
nothing as the three stop Mary's Golem
and then she leaves sonichu shows up to
tell Chris how needy is Sarah
friendzones Chris and then Chris whines
about some [ __ ] until Chris breaks
into mer Lee while she's evil layer and
gets a [ __ ] wrecked until sonichu saves
him and they team up to punish her for
punishing Chris for breaking in but it
turns out that the rainbow Creator when
sonichu evolves sent multiple eggs
throughout time to different locations
18 years later and in the present day
they have become wild sonichu bubbles
roseu Angelica rosu who Chris would
watch sleep puny sonichu and goddamn
[ __ ] Magi Chan sonichu who is not
only basically an all- knowing god but
also Chris's husband way down the line
during a mission where Blu was trying to
steal this thing Sunstone the sonichu
all meet up realizing that they are all
the same they introduce each other but
magu Chan knows that these dumbass
idiots are Anor Blu running away so M
Chan teleports across the world not to
stop him but to yell at the other
sonichu for not stopping him
unfortunately Blu ran into sonichu Prime
who bought just enough time for the
other sonichu to get there and slap his
[ __ ] the five siblings are then dubed
the chaotic combo and also holy [ __ ]
this comic has way too many words just
so many meanwhile Chris at McDonald's
complaining that every man besides him
has stolen all of the pretty girls
leaving him with none to choose from
upon hearing the sexism the manager of
the establishment asked Chris to leave
while being flanked by jerk cops
suddenly dark bind sonichu shows up and
defends Chris's honor and Chris gets
Wings then he just rips off the Holy
Grail while barely getting the joke
Chris then word vomits all over the
manager until he dies but it's all for
not as the W manager arrives to make him
stop talking in order to feat him
Chris's past life informs him that he
can summon his sister who is just him
from another dimension but a girl which
makes [ __ ] real weird after Chris's
transition Chris summons chrisal Weston
chandeler and the two murder the manager
for telling Chris to chill the [ __ ] out
Crystal shows that she truly is Chris by
also spewing diarrhea from her mouth the
two then throw the manager's head at
Mary Lee was and she [ __ ] dies I
think then the clock says that she's
dumb for thinking Chris's lering won't
get him a girlfriend by the way it never
did then there's literally like 10 more
pages of this [ __ ] where Chris is asked
to leave a place where he's loing and
then Chris kills them all or something
there's one at a zoo and there's one at
a Target he gets annihilated then
someone saves him uh he gets put in a
ball gag at one point whatever I'm
skipping it Chris [ __ ] gulps down the
fattest meteor straw I ever done seen we
then cut to Sarah's wedding as Wes isy
tries to ruin it however Chris now
thinking that he's going to get together
with a different girl begins trying to
fight Wes with Yu-Gi-Oh cards Wes
kidnapps Sarah with Chris being out of
Yu-Gi-Oh points until Wes is stopped by
sailor megun and Mami L skunk who are
both the same girl in real life that
Chris was so awful to that she literally
told him like six times she never wanted
to interact with him again to which
Chris responded by constantly mentioning
and trying to get in touch with her
classy later on MAR Le Walsh and her
accomplish on the Moon count graduan put
into law that love is now illegal and
that Virginia is now for virgins only
only count graduan is actually an
adaptation of Chris's hilariously
pathetic High School graduation multiple
jurk cops begin attacking everyone who
even thinks about falling in love even
though Chris is the mayor and I thought
he made the loss through an unreadable
wall of text Chris says that definitely
for sure Megan will date him then this
absolute nightmare is interrupted and
the day is saved by the main man DJ jams
to sonichu he is the coolest guy ever he
says dude and red and rocking and yaa
and he definitely didn't do those horrid
things he was accused of doing to
punchie I promise The Humble DJ also
asked for the help Chris and Sonic
because despite obviously being powerful
enough to stop the threat jamer is busy
playing a Groove Track by Monaco Ral
quick Field's police are easily
outnumbered as they are barely trained
and have no concept of deescalation and
it seems as though Walsh has finally
taken over quickill for good until Chris
[ __ ] surfboards on over and calls the
other sonichu to help and begins
fighting CAD Chef who the [ __ ] the
battle goes smoothly until Walsh beats
them back but at the last second the two
megans appear and save the day however
despite the Tide's turning Walsh uses
her trump card and tries to seal away
Chris in a Timeless void until Crystal
sacrifices herself in dead Megan cries
because she almost lost her male friend
who she really likes meanwhile Nate cir
begins a haunting transformation as
Chris's Medallion was dipped into the
dark energy which was a real dick move
to not mention that in the prophecy I
have to say this next part has me
conflicted as it follows Chris coping
with the loss of his dog by turning her
into a weird furry thing and having her
live on in quickfill and you know as a
person who's lost two pets in the last 2
months I understand how much we want
those animals to live on in some way
however this is quick Ville so I kind of
feel like he's locking your soul in an
eternal Purgatory where none can escape
these derang fantasies but I also don't
want to be a complete CH and Patty
rarely comes back so I'm just going to
leave this one as is the sonicu and
Chris hold a meeting of what to do to
save Crystal before there's like three
pages of absolutely nothing as they talk
about how epic Chris is and also bionic
the Hedgehog because this is what Chris
thinks is foreshadowing they realize
that to save Crystal they need to
collect the seven sonichu balls and
luckily dark bind has two but he
originally wanted them to restore his
girlfriend to life but [ __ ] this guy
take his balls speaking of balls nerk
has unlocked his sonichu form real neck
natu nerk and is currently off stealing
a sonichu ball it turn turns out upon
Awakening himself he realized not only
is he giovan's son but he's also Chris's
evil opposite he's evil cruel and of
course gay Chris is violently offended
by the raw sexually free energy of rnac
and cries like a little baby meanwhile
Blu confines a magican in Sonu Prime
about how rnac is very mean to him and
also that he wants to pipe bubbles
because what the [ __ ] is the point of a
character in this universe is they're
not in a relationship back with Chris
and his doppelganger I think it's
implied that being the opposite of Chris
rnck also doesn't have autism neat as
always Chris gets completely stomped in
the fight until
all of a sudden Chris is yet again
bailed out by another character this
time bionic the Hedgehog Chris's first
OC and the basketball playing long lost
twin brother of Sonic the Hedgehog
bionic gives Chris one of the sonichu
balls as they talk about being lonely
and pathetic together except for 2
seconds later when bionic is now dating
Mogi Chris begins to have a meltdown
because of this before Megan calls him
down because as we know women are built
to do nothing but keep their men under
control like some kind of handling as a
sonichu ball glows magic Chan realizes
that the next ball is indeed in this
location but only in the past Chris Chan
recovers his mood thanks to his Goku who
get him attitude and Magic Chan explains
that they need to head back in time to
when Chris got beaned by a basketball
and came up with bionic the Hedgehog
because that was no basketball it was a
sonichu ball which then leads Chris into
remembering the time he was fat stupid
and went to watch television at ghost
command literally doing a family guy cut
away with no joke and the actual thing
makes no sense whatsoever like I'm fat
and stupid too but this situation is
totally unrelatable magican takes
himself sonichu and Chris back in time
as Chris Ponders the nature of time
travel and how time truly is cyclical
because he saw it in Futurama once they
arrived back in the past with a Young
Chris pointing out that this is another
day managing the basketball team in his
freshman year in reality Chris was only
manager in name and he was actually just
the water boy anyways another text
barrage comes by and we learned that
Chris doesn't know how teenagers talk
and I think he just assumes that they
talk and rhyme anyways his tall
basketball player friend points out that
he sucks with women compared to the Riz
King that is N3 Chris who decides to go
read RL Stein Chris is so manly and cool
in fact that while he reads children's
books he imagines Sonic characters in
the character's places bionic comes out
of a nearby locker and before Chris can
get bashed in the skull with the sonichu
ball it's intercepted returning to the
three current timeline characters the
headb to the present however during this
time travel Chris is lost and falls into
a Time void where none can escape mag
points out how pathetic every
character's obsession with the opposite
gender is before sonichu asks where in
the bottle of Pepsi is Chris magic Chan
realizes we've lost him Chris is now
trapped in an inescapable void while
he'll be barraged with events past
present and future in a torturous
existence that none can assist him in
escaping to which sonichu tells Rosie to
stop worrying so they can have sex we
then get a break with the best character
of all time DJ jamster as he interviews
the OC's of one of Chris's fake
girlfriends this is Then followed by
Lisa rosu interviewing sonichu number
one fan who is an absolutely pathetic
creep who takes after Chris in every way
including the fact that despite his
excellent women advice he doesn't have a
girlfriend and never will sonichu and
rastu that
F Ru goes online to fuel her vapid need
for constant praise as all women do but
to her utter shock and dismay she
stumbles across the notorious 4ent
garbage website which portrays her
sonichu and the rest of the gang is
performing lwd sex acts probably drawn
by Chris worst of all though is images
of rosi with a swinging hog this
disturbs her as she's been blessed with
and once again I quote a healthy pair of
ovaries a vagina and a uterus sonichu is
so violently shocked that he dies the
gang then joins up with wild sonichu in
order to take down 4C garbage by
politely asking them to stop wild
decides that he should go in quietly in
order to take their sonichu ball and
goes into detail about the reasons for
his skill in s due to his father alone
Scyther teaching him wild tearfully
explains that his father was brutally
murdered and carried off leaving wild
with the endless trauma of that feeling
that he didn't do
enough sonichu says that's cool dude
they split up sonichu and rosu easily
are allowed into the elevator as wild
seals a sonichu ball with very little
issue sonichu and rosu confront the evil
Jason Kendrick Howell who runs 4 Cent
garbage sonichu explains that by
trolling people and slandering their
names Jason is not only committing
crimes against himself but America a
country founded on love and peace where
no war or violence has ever happened and
if someone born under that flag Jason
like sonichu should know to respect
others Jason responds I am a troll with
no such beliefs I know that that we are
born then we die I intend to make the
most of my pitiful Life by tormenting
every person within my grasp until they
all die from the shame and distress of
their existence the page will stay up
this meeting is over what' you say
sonichu leaps forward and immediately
gets a [ __ ] slapped giving up however
Jason not only wants the last laugh but
the other last laugh as well that's
right go go and play with your pickle
roast you snaps she destroys the pickle
then F Jason survives just barely but
thinks it's pretty epic that he got a
vagina forcibly shoved into his face
roseu then decides that the best way to
counter all of this is to post actual
nudes of herself on the internet along
with all of her friends we get more of
the most incomprehensible women writing
you'll ever see till they start chanting
for votes for women because I assume in
quickfill Chris disallowed women's right
to vote many years ago while they
prepare they're joined by 14-year-old
zapino Rose who also wants to take part
however she's told no because and I once
again quote what with the dumb laws we
then join the characters to celebrate
the birthdays of the chaotic combo with
Blu now known as Blake sonichu having a
romantic moment with bubbles roseu we
cut to DJ jams to sonichu announcing
spring break and Olive quickfill the
notorious narc and killjoy mayor Chris
bans everyone in the city from getting
drunk or somy the game partakes in a
beach episode and holy [ __ ] sonichu his
feet Blake and Bubbles playing to meet
under a bridge for sex or some [ __ ] but
unbeknown to them a new sonichu savan
roseu is playing both of them you see
another egg was sent deep into space
where it was adopted by the evil count
graduat who raised svana on the moon Mo
she is raised as a gender fluid Shape
Shifter meant to take down Chris and his
sonichu sylvana disguised herself as
bubbles before having sex with Blake and
knocking him out with her vagina by the
way this comic is meant for children
ages 14 and under after dumping his body
she transforms into Blake When J Chan
senses warning bubbles bubbles tells him
to [ __ ] off for no discernable reason
and then what do you know she gets
[ __ ] tricked but is able to fend off
syana we then go to Chris who counts
that time in the void where he had three
relationships one was fake and died
another was fake but this one was real
it was fake then in date Ed the
characters go to dating school but I'm
skipping because it's not in plot
important [ __ ] you although it does
introduce Reginald the sneez and develop
Simone L rosu who's dumber than a sack
of bricks across the city sonichu is
talking about how much he despises gay
people before the private Villa of
corrupted citizens or pvcc the college
Chris was banned from for lering is
attacking the group is easily fighting
off jerk cops until literal Decepticons
show up luckily Chris's real life car is
also a Transformer and has a whole gang
of cars being Sanu arm Dres exelina
Prowler and bumble who's the best
character next to GJ jams's sonichu
Chris then references that his fake
girlfriend [ __ ] died in a fire but
her sonichu were saved one is named
Blaze Bob and I don't care about the
other liquid Chris shows up for the
first time and dies instantly we get
barrages of even more characters joining
up on both sides from Nate to bionic to
sylvana with the heroes coming out on
top quite handily it seems without Chris
to constantly get in the way the quick
Defense Force can fight unabated oh [ __ ]
waade he's back turns out that Chris
ended up in the future for a bit where
he helped create a cur of homosexuality
using his blood taking this back to the
present he cured homosexuality by
infecting the water supply with his
hetero blood Chris then goes around
murdering every single person who has
ever been mean to him culminating in him
getting his old band Christian and the
sonichu boys together as they play so
loud that the four Cent garbage building
falls with hundreds of people inside of
it two of them Clyde cash and Jack thus
decide to share one final loving moment
in each other's arms as they cast
themselves down not willing to die at
Chris's hand the toll of this was Heavy
with over a 100 lives lost and Chris
mourning the loss of many lives despite
it literally being all his fault
following this Chris and sonichu used
the sonichu balls to transform into
Ultra and colossal Chris Chan who is the
exact same size as normal Chris Chan to
mend the wrongs of even more trolls
however while this goes well Simone L
roseu heads for the
restro everyone is in Furious mourning
over what happened including Simona's
daughter Sandy roseu after some time
passes the murderers are brought forward
in court the creators behind the much
more popular comic asper the penalty is
death as their bones are broken bodies
mutilated and Spirits destroyed all for
the crime of slight making fun of Chris
oh we're killing the Simona or something
The sonichu Gather for Christmas and the
story comes to a
close you know until it turns out Chris
is a goddess in the universe begins
eating itself and Chris gives The
sonichu Medallion to Hitler who then
creates a new Reich of
[Music]
son