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after months of debate Congress passed
the pornographic media concealment act
yesterday intended to hide our nation's
pornography from future generations of
Americans this act will ensure that the
inhabitants of ensuing centuries will
judge us based on our contribution to
literature and the Arts rather than our
vast porn collection just imagine the
look on some future archaeologists face
when the unearth Grandma lights at hard
volume 3 and you will understand why
must act the newly created us porn
stashing agency will be tasked with
carrying out the project according to
the chief director of the US porn
stashing agency all internet porn sites
will be hidden behind a portal disguised
as an unremarkable Business site called
qualitative Consulting to gain entry to
the pornography US citizens will have to
use the password catnap allower case one
word catnap but please don't write that
down anywhere individual porn
collections will be moved to several
dozen fake mountains in Southern New
Hampshire there will be an interracial
Mountain a barely legal Mountain at at
the base of each Mountain there will be
a hidden door where any American can
enter no questions asked the agency also
unveiled a video to help Americans
understand how these new policies will
affect their porn the porn stashing
agency will store all pornographic
materials under piles of old camping
equipment inside cardboard boxes with
the word Canada written on them I'm from
the year 3000 that way future historians
will think we're just holding on to it
for Canada and for citizens who make
their own home sex tapes the new policy
requires they begin all recordings with
at least 5 minutes of cpan footage so
future viewers will just get bored and
stop watching previous Congressional
proposals to make the nation seem more
impressive including plans to scatter
the nation with Opera play bills treat
Usain Bolt as an average speed human and
blame the massive amount of idiotic
internet discourse on a few faulty
robots all fail to gain popular support
next up we'll talk to that pilot who
heroically crash landed a plane into
Morin
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