[Music]
six sexy Americans alone in the house
with nothing to do but get nasty this
sex house Tara and I tried to bang last
night but there was a rotten smell
coming through the floorboards like a
dead animal or something we're the Jim
and Pam of the sex house because
everyone wants to know when we're gonna
did you see what office episode when Jim
and Pam finally Erin is taking the
sleeping under the pool table I guess
that's the only place she feels secure
can't say I blame her
[Music]
what's this I have your Simeon Simeon in
the house the girls are like what's a
Simeon
are you serious I've been jogging it -
Simeon big since forever I'm gonna ride
that - being so hard someone's gonna get
too turned on - not me I don't know why
Derek has to ruin everyone's fun here I
know you're gay dude but simians can go
in asses - homie
I asked Derek to help me get a fresh
start with the others because being gay
he understands what it's like to be
hated for something you have no control
over hate I wanted to talk to you
because I I just want to put all of this
nastiness in the first night what are
you even talking about Frank you and I
are in the same boat hello
I didn't cheat on my wife with a girl
half my age you're disgusting so just
live with it and don't bother any of us
I decided to call a house meeting
because the clocks are all running at
completely different speeds and there is
no way to tell the time we need to talk
about our options here something is
seriously wrong
the clocks all right freeze everybody is
under arrest for premature ejaculation
I'm Dani Vollmer popular Chelsea Lately
panelists and clip researcher for Rob
Dyrdek's ridiculousness and this over
here is Kansas city-based pole dance
instructor
Camilla I heard you ladies have been
cold fish in the bedroom and I'm here to
show you how to heat things up with that
sexy pole oh and I hear you guys are
strike
Artur than Buerkle backstage I'm gonna
teach you how to really bro out my
tattoo artist sister is a pole dancer so
it's an art form that I really admire
all I'm thinking about right now is an
Alex sandwich with Camilla and Danni
Vollmer as the bread hey you mind if I
grab a beer we should be taking those
[ __ ] downstairs to pound townn huh huh
this house is right with and that is
rule number uno always [ __ ] should be
surprised though this guy here hasn't
been a bro since Old Spice was just
called spice I don't know why they would
send someone here just to demean us
finally someone around here who sees
things my way I was starting to think I
was going crazy this one will really
help you if you're having insertion
problems
it'll help loosen up your puppet this
feels so good
so why any of you pillow biters sealed
the deal yet right Frank Darin on the
first night right oh really I really
wish Jay hadn't told the comedian dad
now he's gonna go to town on me with
this anger Oh bro hey you're old enough
to be her father if her father was a big
fat rapist oh come on always
it was hard to focus on Camila with Alex
acting so disgusting and Erin's sitting
there like a ghost can you show us how
to do this I feel sorry for Alex I mean
now she's trying to pop Mila I'm here to
teach you how to pole dance yes I do
[ __ ] I'm officially done with this girl
I said you look like a look those
glasses hey what are we even supposed to
be doing throwing out dude so far you're
brewing ain't growing fancy pants ah
Derek watch out for AIDS you even know
what you're talking about Camila don't
even want you here anyway you're
delusional follow me you stupid ran out
wants to have sex with you just go home
you can tell instantly that she broke
her leg it was practically coming out of
her skin you're gonna be okay it's just
a bra yeah you're so sexy when you're
vulnerable me and Camilla didn't have
any chemistry but I thought Dani foamer
seemed like the kind of guy who likes
doing disgusting things hey you got on a
little too strong like Roseanne Barr
degre v convention I'm out of here
Kristen's gonna catch hell for hooking
this gate get the whole skank got it
at a gig in Reno in like five our house
[Music]
okay we need to figure out how to get
out of here or we might actually die the
next challenge is called do it the first
couple to have sex when surprised nobody
have sex
alright it's a trick no more games next
week and a hot new sex house this
definitely isn't a house I think we
might be underground or on a ship of
some kind
I was born to exhibit myself tear has
been all over me
today is the day Little J finally gets
soaked