we're certainly living in the future
these days where all of our products are
considered smart products meaning they
all have to be connected online via
Wi-Fi and you have to register them with
a valid driver's license fill out a
survey sign up for a newsletter got
goddamn smart condoms coming next I'm
sure where you have to be connected
online at all times otherwise the condom
shuts down it won't stretch so you can't
[ __ ] use it but this new
revolutionary product is not a smart
product
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it will allow you to sit anywhere but
not comfortably so this is a wearable
chair
it just is two little legs that you put
on your ass cheeks and you sit down
folds out and then you kind of have to
get into a pseudo squat to balance
yourself it kind of looks like you're
balancing on two pogo sticks or they
kind of look like the legs of a robot
stripper you know I'm wearing fishnets
it could have at least made the legs
kick out and look kind of cool but it
just looks really odd they look like the
rollerblades from a Lita battle angel
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it looks like his [ __ ] is
dual-wielding the double-oh-seven club's
the design is an extension of your body
if your body is made out of PVC pipe and
bubble gum I suppose there's also gonna
be the most uncomfortable bus ride of
his life he can't sit down wearing this
he's gonna have to be standing though I
suppose he could go full douche bag mode
and just pop a squat in the middle of
the aisle giving the middle finger to
everyone else on the bus [ __ ] you I've
got my go-go-gadget extendo ass cheek
chair
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yeah 265 max carrying capacity is just
not going to cut it not winning the
Nobel Prize there this seems like a
product that would be aimed at people
far in excess of 265 because it appears
to make the assumption that everyone is
just the laziest [ __ ] slob who can't
be bothered to stand for more than two
minutes and the only people this would
appeal to are people that get winded
when they're standing for more than two
minutes waiting for a bus and their
knees are about the [ __ ] explode but
that clientele is going to weigh more
than 265 so they can't even use this and
at the end of the day there's places to
sit everywhere in fact any place is a
place to sit if you're willing to just
pop a squat on it you know what I mean
even on the ground is far more
comfortable than this I imagine and also
you're not locked into wearing the saw
trap all day
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the creators also say it'll make your
penis bigger I can promise you this is
not gonna change how you use your
workspace no one's gonna be using this
this'll never catch on but you know what
I'll tow you around with the idea I also
think I can come up with a suggestion on
how to change this workplace in
particular why not just put a nice chair
there why not just pull over a chair
what kind of god damn sweatshop is this
guy working in where he can't just pull
over a chair that should already be
there in the first place or readily
available why does he have to come to
work with these two aluminum sticks on
his ass in order to sit down this is
just a job he might want to consider
leaving if you have to come to work
wearing a strap-on just so you can sit
down it's probably not worth whatever
you're getting paid to work there
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I'll let them have this one I agree this
will change how they travel and how they
commute because you won't be able to sit
down on anything comfortable unless you
take this thing off and then even then
you have the inconvenience of carrying
this [ __ ] around and making everyone
around you think that you're a
psychopath
so yeah that will change the game for
you but not positively almost every scam
gets fully funded on Kickstarter a man
making a potato salad crushed his
Kickstarter goal this isn't a selling
point just knowing it was on Kickstarter
is enough to immediately make me
question it and really kind of not want
it Kickstarter has such a negative
reputation
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Tech Insider speculates that this
wearable chair could change how we work
in travel and at 145 dollars I promise
you it never will
a no one wants it B that's too expensive
for this piece of [ __ ] and see no one's
going to commit social suicide by
walking around wearing this anywhere in
the world