LYNNE: Hey.
Mm, Mum, Moam,
Most paper is made from paper.
aAaAaAaAa
[voice becomes echoed] Paper is made from wood, trees, and paper.
Chemicals... Slls... SoS... [♪ WangleLine - Fun in Another Dimension ♪]
LYNNE: [through a speaker] Wait... It's all recycled content?
BROOKS: [through a speaker] Always has been.
"Content Warning: Censored Language, Sexual Humor, Dark Humor, Violent Dialogue, Blood (kinda), Religious References, Visual-Only Static, Food, Lizards."
"Wow! It's Made! 5"
"Wow! It's Made! 5 Wow! It's Made!..."
"Wow! It's Made! 5 Wow! It's Made!... Up!"
[music stops]
BROOKS: Throughout history, women have crushed bugs.
Cleopatra does the job nicely.
She crushed way over two-thousand ants and beetles.
Nice. No need to mess with Cleopatra!
Anyway...
Lipstick.
[muzak]
Lipstick? Lipstick!
The ingredients are usually a company secret.
Waxes,
pigs,
waxturizers,
mints,
and lipstick ingredients.
A worker prays following a formula.
She adds a plant-based gel known as...
Uh...
Plant...ilatum.
It's over to the next station where another worker,
known as Delilah,
pours the lipstick liquid into a fil--
[rewind sounds] pours the Lipstiquid into a filling machine.
It's blood.
Cool.
Tubular. [music becomes discordant]
Radical. [music becomes discordant]
She places the cases into spaces.
On another conveyor,
The lipsticks pass by guns.
Hey! Settle down!
It's just lipstick!
You look luscious.
It's time to take Satan on a date!
[demonic reversed speech]
LYNNE: It wasn't until the late eighteen-hundreds
(the late-teen hundreds)
that chemists created odor
in a variety of forms.
Natural odors like body odor,
and unwanted odors.
From "Bull" to "Auntie."
It wasn't until today that chemists created perspirants that use chemicals
... Slls... SoS...
to create perspiration.
[muzak]
Almost everyone applies deodorant
♪
Almost...
First step to making deodorant:
Watching movies
over at the doming station.
INIGO: ... I do not think it means what you think it means. "The Domming Station, where the deodorants go to be topped."
This chemist will watch Pan's Labyrinth.
[footsteps]
JON LOCKE: [distant] Oh no! It's food!
LYNNE: This chemist will watch Pass-Thru
NEIL: I am artificial intelligence from far into the future.
LYNNE: This chemist will watch nothing.
He's a third wheel.
It's best to leave them out.
A safety seal is a piece of plastic that protects the deodorant.
"The World" is a Stand
that protects Dio.
DIO: ZA WARUDO!
[wooshy bass sound]
[silence]
TONY: If you're eyeing up the competition,
LYNNE: [interrupting] Back to the doming station!
Steve heats the seventy-five-ingredient grease mix to seventy-five degrees Celsius,
melting the greasy ingredients.
Mel heats the mix to six degrees Celsius,
Melsius,
MeM, Ceaseless.
Drake evenly lines up the tunnel.
A system of levers raises them up
to align with a system of lemurs that dispense the mix.
[♪ WangleLine - Fun in Another Dimension ♪]
LYNNE: Dispense the mix!
[bass drops]
♪
Alright, move along. Keep moving.
Chemists perform a test on a cool sample of deodorant.
[wood cracking sounds]
Too hard!
That will cover the deodorant.
TONY: If you're eyeing up competition,
one way to get ahead is to flash.
Eugh.
And I think it's fair to say,
Shash.
Well, well, well.
Look what we have here.
Mascara.
Mascara grows in parts of Texico and Mexas.
Mascara is comprised of a sauce-soluble phase
and a lebuloluble phase.
Carnauba from a Brazilian tree,
Candle wax from a Brazilian candle,
And bees
from a Brazilian wax.
[random music notes]
And this compound, called "T.E.A."
is added to Banjo-Tooie™.
E-E-Eh-E-Yee-E-Eh-E
The basic ingredients are wax,
water,
WAH-ter,
walks,
and binders.
So you can bind.
A thick-ometer measures the thickness.
The formulation is yeeted.
[glass breaks distantly] Don't you just hate it when that happens?
BROOKS: Turquoise jewelry has adorned the humans for four years.
Fast-forward to today,
and turquoise jewelry has adorned the humans for thousands of years!
Native Americans have long mined the Earth
for a stone as blue as this guy.
Turquoise jewelry still makes a statement.
That statement:
"I'll never swear."
For f**k's sake.
This pendant sucks.
The initial cuts were just terrible,
so the stones don't exactly fit together.
Turquoise has officially lost its luster.
He cuts it with a circus saw.
[Entrance of the Gladiators with an electric beat]
He stamps the maker's insignia onto it.
He sealees the SoS with SuS.
The silver strip will now be used for petting.
And he smooches the edges.
[kiss sound]
Because he's a tiny soft boi and breaks down easily.
UwU
we must protecc (we must protect)
It's time to reveal the true color of each stone.
Too much water could cause discoloration.
Turquoise has officially lust its loster.
LYNNE: The invention of polyester pastry toaster fleece in the nineteen-eighties
was the greatest thing in the nineteen-sixties.
Fleecy fleece offers warmth from waste.
Because it's trash.
[music is discordant]
The fleece smolders.
So we've slowed down the video
[voice gets slower, deeper] to give you a good look
at grandma.
The Chad yarn looks and feels exactly the same
as the Virgin polyester fleece.
[music fades in from being muffled]
One.
"Grippers" Grippers pull it along to stretch it to the desired width.
"rippers" [fabric tearing]
MARK: Shoot. [beep]
One side is a smooth knit,
while the other is a nitwit.
Wow.
The cereal material is fuzzy and fleecy.
And THICC!
This brick is thin
and not fleecy at all.
It's a pass.
Inspectors check.
Checktors inspect.
If necessary, they'll give the workers a bit of a break.
Sensors overhead detect the ones that sleep
in a process called "Napping."
Each one undergoes a battery test
to determine whether the worker will resist killing.
Often the napped worker dies under the pressure.
If the worker doesn't die,
send them back to repeat the process.
BROOKS: The easiest way to treat skin
is to spread on some skin.
It rejuvenates the skin.
This is particularly important in skin.
It rubs the cream on its skin.
[beep] "No. Silence. Shut it now."
If you have dry skin,
you have cancer
along with other medical conditions
like cancer-betes.
The first ingredient is hysteric acid.
The next ingredient is Derek Acid.
It's time to feed the workers.
[beep]
BROOKS: [on a speaker] Begin eating.
[Minecraft eating sounds]
Workers continue eating the vegetables such as corn.
While they keep eating,
I prepare the water.
The first ingredient is pee.
Purified pee.
Basically water.
Machines place workers onto a turntable that feeds rollers
that grind the worker particles.
They add body to the mixture.
They gradually add BDG.
This makes the mixture white. [BDG speaks distantly about Sonic]
Then the machine heats the mixture
to save the skin cream to a solid-state.
If you have dry hands,
it's wise to keep a good supply of skinks.
TONY: Throughout history,
Wigs have been hair pieces.
One early wig-making technique
was The Sims™.
But today some big-wigs use Goat Simulator™.
You twit.
You threw out history!
Your crowning glory looks pathetic.
The wig maker cuts the clients head from all angles.
He wraps the client's face in cellophane
to suffocate the client.
Now he places tape on the head
to make a cast.
The cast from her head is stuck.
The wig maker twists the client's head off.
[cartoon pop sound]
Wig making is dangerous work!
The End.
[music fades out]
Wait...
Wig, wig, wig, wig, wig, wig, wig, wig, wig, wig, wig, wig, wig, wig, wig, wig,
Wiw, wiw, wiw, wiw, wiw, wiw, wiw, wiw, wiw, wiw, wiw, wiw, wiw, wiw, wiw, wiw
So now,
you really know the jig!
♪
[music concludes]