after a flood of customer complaints K
Jewelers issued an immediate recall this
week of over 2 million cursed engagement
and wedding rings in their nane Bridal
and Leo Diamond lines responding to
reports that consumers who dawned the
blighted Rings brought doomed to all who
encountered them the company's director
of public relations released an apology
to those Afflicted I can assure our
customers that we were not aware our
manufacturers were sourcing diamonds
tainted by the darkling era in the
production of our 2014 line of rings are
strongly recommending customers who have
not yet returned their purchases for a
full refund to place a mirror in a bowl
of black salt mold a popet in your image
out of clay and your Lover's hair and
then burn the Poppet in the mirror
before the next full moon industry
experts are calling this the most
egregious safety oversight in jewelry
production since 1973 when Zales
Disturbed the grave of the 16th century
sorcerer malor K emphasized that if
customers begin exhibiting symptoms such
as teeth nashing blistering coughing up
snails or slowly morphing into to the
animal that most closely resembles them
then they are running out of time if
your pets begin to die or everything you
come into contact with Burns at the
touch you should immediately rub your
body in warm wood and then sleep on a
freshly dug grave for eight consecutive
nights many consumers interviewed stress
that they will be pursuing legal action
for what they feel are Grievous
emotional and physical damages all my
husband and I wanted work basic
affordable wedding rings for our wedding
day ever since putting this thing on my
hair is falling out I don't sleep well
sometimes I wake up and I'm trapped in
this oil painting of a German Village
they told us that if we get pregnant
between October and April then there was
a 68% chance that our child would be
born with no soul well tera's do in
December they sent us this disclaimer
suggesting we leave the changling in the
wood and return only at our own Peril
you find out after the fact that it's a
total it's time for the wormwood here we
go
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