it's been a little while since we've
taken a deep dive into the dumpster on
Kickstarter and I know I've always had a
negative impression of Kickstarter and
IndieGoGo because I think a lot of these
crowdfunding sites just have way too
many [ __ ] scams on them where you'll
donate this money and get nothing in
return for it and a lot of them promise
impossible things that a lot of these
people think there's some garage door
Vincey has created this revolutionary
product like ah behold this is a device
that you put in your mouth that'll
instantly clean your teeth no more
wasting time brushing your teeth this is
gonna change everything and I've been
muted with an intelligent spell so by
continually using my product you will
supercharge your IQ and then they'll
have a [ __ ] funding goal of a hundred
grand and a lot of times these projects
reach it and it's just terrible [ __ ] but
today I found a product that has
completely changed my perspective on
Kickstarter it's called the [ __ ] in her
face let's take a look there's a brand
new Kickstarter campaign from the
unmatched genius mind of Oliver red
light oliver red light as I'm sure you
all know is a renowned author and
credited with inventing the human
erection legend says before Oliver
picked up the pin men couldn't get their
dick hard blood wouldn't even flow to
the [ __ ] region but one day Oliver said
let there be light and Eureka thus there
was the boner was born
Oliver red light is two penis what Jesus
Christ was to all of humanity
a savior so it should come as no
surprise that Oliver red light is
writing again and undoubtably the [ __ ]
interface is going to be another
landmark achievement so the [ __ ]
interface every part of a [ __ ] can be
found in a woman's face as you can see
here from the cover of the book you have
the eyes plus the lips equal the [ __ ]
story seven years ago in my book the
[ __ ] interface was published in German
language but now I want to make it
available to a wider audience in the
English language and Oliver I think I
speak on behalf of everyone that speaks
English when I say thank you I had to
blur out the actual [ __ ] on the cover
of this book it's not a real vagina what
Oliver's done is he is photoshopped the
human lips into a vagina so he's kind of
he's mesh the two together and created
like a chimera [ __ ] of human lips and
vaginal lips it's some pretty
interesting Frankenstein play there for
some the title of the book may be a
little provocative but it is best
description of the content because the
book is about how a woman's facial
features tell you what her [ __ ] looks
like after a long development I turned
the curiosity into a science and a
formula how to reveal the secret in the
panties of every woman by looking at her
facial features so in a nutshell the
[ __ ] in her face is a guide a
Hitchhiker's Guide to the [ __ ] in a
girl's face what the book does is it
breaks down the simple science of
analyzing a girl's facial features to
see exactly what her vagina is going to
look like should you ever get that far
now the problem and there isn't many
problems with this book but the main
problem I have with the [ __ ] interfaces
it's almost too powerful
like what's to stop you from
accidentally seeing the [ __ ] in a man's
face you know what I mean because in his
book the formula is laid out plain and
clear you're analyzing eyes nose and
lips and you're putting all that
together to create a vagina men also
have eyes nose and lips so what's gonna
stop me what if I just go around and
start seeing [ __ ] on everyone's faces
you know after reading this book what if
I go to my parents house and I start
seeing their [ __ ] in their face you
know what I mean it's just the formula
is just too strong the science is just
too much I don't think we were ready to
have these secrets thrust upon us here
it's opening Pandora's box we're just
gonna see face [ __ ] everywhere you'll
be at the gym talking to that really
sweet old man who's been battling
alcohol addiction for the last 20 years
you'll be deep into a conversation then
all of a sudden you'll have like a
that's so raven flashback stop for a
moment and then just start seeing the
vagina on his face you'll analyze his
eyes his nose his white mustache so you
know he's got a bit of a white pubic
hair bush over his vagina and then all
of a sudden you can't even look at the
guy anymore because you just keep seeing
his vagina that he's wearing right on
his face because now you just have all
the information right there because all
of her red lights pulled back the
curtain and now we can see everyone's
[ __ ] just by looking at their face it's
just it's too much it's too powerful
continuing on we see a wonderful photo
of the author Oliver red light and all
of his glory proudly holding up his book
definitely signing copies here I imagine
and no doubt in my mind he is about to
go have some real good sex he's about to
have sex but don't worry this book is
neither sexist nor inhumane this book
actually helps to look at a woman first
in the face and not on her breasts or
butt so you're wrong if you think
there's something wrong about this book
though one could argue by constantly
looking a woman's face just picturing
vagina
it's it's not it's you know it's not the
best that's not probably the right way
of approaching a conversation with a
woman but hey I'm no Oliver red light
and he said himself it's not sexist so
so it's just not sexist the first part
is about the parallels in the face of
the vagina and how to get the details
with a few steps of the formula such as
can recognize the basic shape
characteristics proportions color hair
etc as you can see there's some hand
rungs scribbled notes for his formula
this is probably something that just
came to him in like a brain blast where
he just all of a sudden started
connecting all the dots of the universe
and figured out exactly how to draw
these parallels to a [ __ ] so he started
writing them down on a napkin the
closest thing I had nearby and very good
hand drawn pictures of vagina here that
I'm gonna have to blur out but overall I
mean you can't argue with the with the
formula of course it's infallible the
second part consists of photo montages
where the formula is applied
step-by-step to various examples from
blonde to brunette to black hair from
young to old from skin tones and
countries of origin and much more
many step-by-step examples are shown you
this I can't show any of the examples
there because it is just a photo montage
of Photoshop vagina so moving on in the
third part of the book you can apply the
knowledge from the first two chapters in
the form of a puzzle by assigning the
right face to the right [ __ ] or vice
versa the right [ __ ] to the right face
and as you can see here is Oliver using
the book at a bar setting saying hey I
know exactly what your vagina looks like
I'm gonna describe it and here's how I
know this so he hands over his you know
back to the future sports Almanac that
kind of reveals how we got all the
information as you can see here this
woman is beyond impressed and beyond
interested now obviously this is perhaps
a paid actress to tolerate the [ __ ] and
her face promotional material here but I
like to imagine he truly does just
travel with the [ __ ] in year four in
her face book in his back pocket and
uses it as maybe like a pick-up line
like hey I know what your vagina looks
like and then they like slap and he's
like no I'm serious check this out and
then he whips out his book either way an
incredible novel from from the one and
only Oliver red-light now there's a lot
of things that can be said about the
[ __ ] interface but there's one thing
that can't be said that it's a scam
because it's not I mean it's an actual
tangible product apparently the
book exists in a German language it
shouldn't exist but it does in a lot of
ways this is like one of the only true
Kickstarter projects that actually has a
real product that can be delivered but
it shouldn't well it's a real shame that
of all like the promising projects on
Kickstarter this is the one that somehow
actually does exist so unfortunate but
hey the [ __ ] interface has totally
changed my perspective on Kickstarter
it's not all bad over there that's what
this has shown me so yeah that's about
it see ya