-I need to get buff. Montage time! [rock music plays]
-Shut up!
-(TV) We can't keep cheating death.
The fact that we're in this fireworks and bomb factory--
-This is so dumb.
I hope nobody actually believes
that they can get some sort of premonition
and somehow use it to avoid your own death.
-Of course not, man. It's just the movie.
Can you imagine how stupid it'd be
if movies were actually realistic?
-Ah, die, you aliens!
[gunshots firing, yelling]
Huh.
[zap!]
-Oh, my God, the monster's destroying the city!
Whoa! Whoa!
[making weird noises]
-No, I am your father.
-No... it's not true.
It's impossible.
-The results are in.
You are the father.
-Oh, f--k you, you ... piece of s--t!
-Oh, hell no!
-Once this baby hits 88 miles an hour,
we will travel through time.
-Oh... you better hurry up, Doc.
There's a building up ahead.
-86 miles an hour.
88 miles an-- [crash!]
[monkeys screeching]
-This planet sucks.
-[sighs]
-Elliott.
-[shrieks, gunshot]
[sighs in relief] I thought you were a black midget.
-Oh, hell no!
-So glad I took the blue pill.
-You wanna know how I got these scars?
-Uh... acne?
-How did you know?
[calm music playing]
-Wait. You're poor? Ew!
-What are you-- wha- waahh!!
[splash!]
-Oh, hell no!
-Yeah, I guess that would be pretty stupid if it was realistic.
-Yup, like always.
-Oh crap, I'm gonna be late for my date.
-Lunch with your mom's friend does not count as a date.
-[whining]: Yes it does!
Hey, Mom. Yeah, yeah, I'll be right there.
Now you're sure Mildred will be there, right?
[truck horn honks, crash!]
[gasps, heart beating]
-Lunch with your mom's friend does not count as a date.
-[thinking]: I have to find a way to cheat death.
Oh, I know.
Hey Anthony, I dropped a quarter in the street
if you want it.
-F--k yeah!
[laughs]
Are you sure? I don't see anything out here.
-Are you sure there aren't any, like, firetrucks or any--
[truck horn honks, crash!]
-To see bloopers and a deleted scene from Avatar
and Predator,
click the link in the description below!
Thanks for subscribing,
especially if you're a black midget!
-Oh, hell no! [Captioned by SpongeSebastian]