A musical parody of "Steam" by Peter Gabriel, all about Microsoft Teams. And various other remote working and online communication tools. But mostly Teams.

Music: "Steam" by Peter Gabriel. Copyright © 1993 Peter Gabriel Ltd.
Lyrics by Dylan Beattie.
Performed and produced by Dylan Beattie.

LYRICS:

Forget Slack,
Forget Slack,
Company meeting, everybody's out of sync,
I'm trying to join, 
clicking on, clicking on this link, this link 

Is it Teams,
'cos I don't feel like I can deal,
With all the broken login schemes,
The UI is gonna make you scream,

You know your Discords from your Slacks, 
You know your email from your fax,
You remember IRC, NNTP and Jabber too,
You know your Jitsi from your Meet,
Your virtual background's pretty neat,
When all the other tools are down, there's always gather.town, and ICQ
 
You know your way around online, 
You know your Hopin from your PINE,
You know the time in Amsterdam, Seattle, Milan, and Timbuktu
You speak at virtual events,
Can't even see your audience,
It's like you're talking to the void, it'll leave you paranoid and feeling blue,

Everybody Facetime, Telegram, Signal, Chime,
Webcam, microphone, Sat at home, all alone,
Zoom, shake, head ache, find a way to stay awake,
Seven hours without a break, This is more than I can take!

We're working in Teams, baby, 
Yeah we're working in Teams, around here now, 
Yeah, we're living in the future 
And believing all the hype,
Just don't ask any questions  
About what happened to Skype, 
We’re shipping all our features 
Got to hit that milestone, 
Gotta keep talking, talking, talking 
but no-one's talking on the phone, 
We're on Teams, baby,
We're running on Teams around here now...
On 365
On 365
Just gimme some Teams